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The Graham Marsden Retirement Mega Fish-In.

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The Graham Marsden Retirement Mega Fish-In.

An Alternative view, by Kevin Perkins………..

Let me say at the outset that due to my positioning at this event, I wasn’t able to witness to a large amount of the behaviour (good, bad and downright ugly) that went on at this Fish-In. And I have to say that considering that there were FOUR moderators present, I’m not sure how some of it was allowed to continue. Therefore, for once, this will just be a completely honest appraisal of how events unfolded, as seen from my perspective……….

I arrived at Boundary Park around mid afternoon on the Friday, and very pleasant it all looked, I must say. A fair few FMers were already in attendance, and thoughtfully the old, infirm and those with bladder and bowel problems had been placed nearest to the amenities. After saying ‘Hello’s’ to friends old and new I was motioned to take a vacant swim ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE!

KPgmfishinGMcake.jpgAlthough slightly taken aback by being apparently spurned by people I thought to be friends, I was invited to join Slime Monster, Morespiders and Posh Paul on the ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE for the duration of the event. Despite the inner hurt I was feeling, my companions and I in the newly formed OTOSOTL club (not as exclusive as the PoSH club, but it won’t have people clamouring to join.....) got tackled up and had a reasonable spell of fishing, with Posh even managing to land a couple of bream (or the same one twice, what does it matter?) Graham and Ed managed to make the long trek round to see us OTOSOTL and we all wished Graham well on his retirement

As the first day slipped into a velvety evening we in the OTOSOTL club stood around drinking ginger beer, dandelion and burdock and a very weak lemonade shandy or two, having quite a convivial time. Just then, Mr Dave Chilton and Ed came over to see us OTOSOTL, and recounted some rather risqué and bawdy tales, the like of which we had never heard before. After those two left us, and still slightly stunned by their language, we retired to our bivvies at around 10.00pm for a good night’s rest before a day of furious fishing action on Saturday.

Just before we zipped up for the night we could make just make out the carousing going on over by the car park, but as it was SO FAR AWAY, we thought it wouldn’t bother us at all. But how wrong can you be? Safely ensconced in the arms of Morpheus and dreaming of catching several of Boundary’s prolific carp (well, I did say it was a dream) only to be rudely awakened by a commotion close by.

KPgmfishinron.jpgNow, we had heard rumours of the lane behind us being used for nefarious nightime rendezvous, but this was a blatant attempt at kissing and making up by members of the Car Park Crew who came over to tell us AT 2.30 IN THE MORNING that they still loved us. In the case of poor Mr Spiders he would have been really ‘loved’ if they had managed to unzip his sleeping bag. But we were all saved as the CPC had by now walked so far to come and see use that they were worn out. That long, long walk must have really taken it out of them because their hand/eye coordination was awry and their speech was slurred as they staggered off into the night. I won’t name the culprits, but will just say if they go to another overnight Fish-In they should be afraid, be very afraid……

Still, despite all that, Posh was up fishing quite early and managed to land another couple of bream (or the same one as yesterday, twice over) and the day dawned bright and clear. Around mid-morning we were joined by Neil Maidment who had also been ostracised to the OTOSOTL club, which I though was strange, because I thought he had lots and lots of friends on FM, just goes to show you never can tell.
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The day wore on and no further fish were caught by the OTOSOTL club, although Stealph Viper who was directly opposite us did have three bream, but that may just have been Posh’s pet fish that had wandered over there. I was somewhat taken aback when I turned round in my swim to find a robed, hooded figure standing behind my bivvie, thanks very much Mr Melling…..!! (Although very nice to me, you, in person at last). Around 4.30 we decided to wander over to the barbecue.

On our way round, the OTOSOTL club passed Paul H and Dicky who were appeared to be trying desperately to pick up news of the golf scores by turning Paul’s umbrella inside out to act as a satellite receiver, but to no avail. Also on our way to the barbecue we passed the lake owners livestock pen. There were three goats in it on our way to the barbecue, only two goats in it on the way back……..

KPgmfishinlunghljim.jpgStill, once we all met up again, it was nice to see faces old and new, and speaking of new faces, one couldn’t help notice how youthful and fresh-faced Gary Knowles was looking. He had just flown in from a fishing trip to Cuba (allegedly) although his appearance looked like it owed more to a trip to the botox and collagen filler clinic. This view was further evidenced when Barney decided to moon us all whilst getting changed.

The lack of any tan lines on someone who has just spent weeks in the Caribbean sun should raise doubts on it’s own, but combine that with a complete lack of visible hair when he mooned us all would imply that the botox clinic probably does ‘back, sac and crack’ depilation for gentlemen as well…………..

Wol and Cakey (Barbie B*tch) were doing a fabulous job with the barbeque, and everyone was getting into the swing of things. Well, they certainly were later when a golf club was produced and several members attempted use it to launch boilies into the lake. As a baiting up method it was doomed to failure, I mean a driver; surely they should have been using a 3 iron for a shot like that.

KPgmfishinBBQ.jpgAlso, a bit later on, Steve Spiller gave us a ‘how to’ demonstration with the spod. The way Steve does it you spray your bait from the water’s edge right out to your target area, and about twenty yards either side too. More like carpet bombing than a precision strike, but if it works for Steve….

By now there is so much activity going in and on it’s hard to take it all in, let alone relate it all. Mr Bibby, Dave Chilton, Ron, The Monk and Windy were in cracking form, and the now infamous PoSH initaitation performed by Ed was a wonder to behold. Having been told he could join the Port and Stilton Club if he could get both items into his body by some other means than his mouth.
Brave Ed then took the Stilton, placed a peck on the back of his hand and snorted up his left nostril in the manner of a Regency dandy taking snuff. We are not quite sure how he got the port into his body as he disappeared behind a bivvy to do it, but I hope whoever drunk out of that bottle next wiped the neck very clean first.

Other notable events…….

Neil Maidment gave a masterclass in fly casting, Ed and Dave Chilton gave a masterclass in macramé using the very same tackle (Although some said Dave’s efforts looked more like basket weaving).

KPgmfishindicky.jpgAndy Nellist gave us an insight into a new method of charging client’s that will be brought in soon. Instead of the traditional hourly rate for their services, they will charged by the word. Obviously, the more words they can get out in a hour, the more they will get paid, and Andy proved he was really up to speed on this, because at the rate he was going on Saturday night, most of us would have racked up huge bills.

Morespiders found a number of odd socks scattered around the venue. As Long john Silver is long gone, could it be that other famous monopod, Heather Mills, has taken up fishing..?

Steve Spiller is cursed with good looks and is so often mistaken for film stars and other celebrities. To get round the attention of autograph hunters he has taken to wearing wrap-around dark sunglasses during the day. Even when it’s not sunny, even when it’s peeing down with rain, even after he had been out on the lash on Friday night……….

I should just mention the companies that sponsored the event. TickleTackle realised the significance of the occasion and against all of its strong financial principles decided to give away stickers to participants. Please note, this was a definite one-off and will never happen again.

Posh Paul rounded up the other event sponsors, although largesse from them seemed to be absent, unless you count the new bite alarm that Posh was using that has a volume control that can be set from inaudible to silent. I’m sure it will be a big hit with the long stay carp boys who don’t want to be disturbed once they have bivvied up for the night.

As to the others, Bivvie-Bevvies are some sort of mobile catering outfit, looking after the needs of long stay anglers. Not to be confused with Bivvy-Mates, who cater for a whole different set of needs.

Pallet-Racks might have you scratching your head, but if you’ve ever sat on the boards at a commercial and wonder where all those planks come from, just think back to times when you have seen a scabby old Transit flat bed scouring industrial sites picking up broken pallets……..

Dai-Wah is a new tackle company being set up Wales, more details to follow.

KystonMight, well, they might not, as on Saturday night I saw Dave Chilton in a heated discussion with Andy Nellist (when he could get a word in, that is) about image rights.

But seriously, there was so much going on - and that so much of it was good natured reflects very well on the man who brought it all together, and in whose honour the event was staged. The organisation was excellent, the barbeque and cake presentation were brilliant and it was obvious that the genuine affection we all feel for Graham shone through the entire weekend.

Kevin Perkins (OTOSOTL club)

See more pics at Graham's Flickr page

ALSO - Read the Monk's View.

 







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Comments (51 posted):

Rodney Wrestt on 21/07/2010 11:30:14
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Nice write up Kevin, I've heard stories about Botox Barney before but didn't believe till now :eek: :D
Sean Meeghan on 21/07/2010 12:17:02
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Kevin you were advised to fish TOSOTL for your own safety. Did you see the state of the Bone Collector on Sunday?
The Monk on 21/07/2010 12:19:26
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A brilliant write up Mr Perkins and up to your usual wonderful standard and it was indeed a great privillage to meet you too, much younger looking than I had imagined. Yep Steves stunning looks no doubt get him a lot of female attention, thanks goodness he cant catch fish too, lol I must admit I did wonder myself what happened to the third goat?
Bluenose on 21/07/2010 14:05:37
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Nice write up Kevin
Warren Gaunt on 21/07/2010 16:54:47
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lol, very good Kev :D
Poshpaul (Angling Trust and PaSC) on 21/07/2010 16:58:42
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Brilliant write up Kevin..and as a team the OTOSOTL boys outscored the OTCSOTL boys handsomely...where C is an anagram of carp. Our catch rate was 60 % and more than one species...and we haven't included Stealph who was in the OTOBOTOSOTL club. ---------- Post added at 16:58 ---------- Previous post was at 16:55 ---------- And just one slightly disturbing image.....that photo of Graham with his lovely cake. Look in the background....look at Steve Spiller...what has he got in his mouth, what is he doing with it and why does he look SO happy?
slime monster on 21/07/2010 18:28:24
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I wish I had photographed the OTOSOTL 8 ounce Roach ...a true giant amongst the "eyes" I caught Great article Kevin
Stealph Viper on 21/07/2010 18:29:27
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I wish i had a bloody clue what all this OTOBL;AHDEBLAH bollox meant but as i haven't i'll be damned if i make a TIT out of myself asking.
ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) on 21/07/2010 18:50:01
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I wish i had a bloody clue what all this OTOBL;AHDEBLAH bollox meant but as i haven't i'll be damned if i make a TIT out of myself asking. O== Other S== Side O== Of T== The L== Lake
Steve Spiller on 21/07/2010 19:09:40
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Very good Kevin ;) I thought Wols spod and rod were cr*p too, but I didn't want to say anything :D Went through the flicker and I don't think there was one pic were the Monk wasn't smiling and what a cheeky smile it is too..... No wonder he's managed to lure so many ruffe slappers into his bivvy...
slime monster on 21/07/2010 19:19:37
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T==thick I==in T==t' head
Graham Marsden on 21/07/2010 19:21:21
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Terrific write-up Kevin; little wonder you were one of my favourite wordsmiths for FM - and I still think your Donald and Damian series was the best of the lot. Your article befitted an event that was all at the same time, wonderful, weird, whacky and Wol at his very best. He worked away at that barbie like a man possessed, but always with good humour. Bless him! But I shouldn't single out any individual as every last one of you made it an event to be remembered, just like every single one of you make this website a very special place. My retirement fish-in will certainly be one of my most treasured memories and one of my most humbling experiences. I've been asked repeatedly to start work and retire all over again so that we can have a re-run of the mega fish-in, but that will never happen; I'm enjoying my retirement far too much. However, Mrs Bone Collector (Christine), has made the best suggestion yet, which is to run it all over again next year for all those who can't remember what happened this year. So that's OK then, for that covers just about all of us! Thanks a million for a fantastic send-off. I truly appreciated it.
Neil Maidment on 21/07/2010 19:31:49
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Very impressive (not to say quick) Kevin. Pretty much the perfect written companion to a very special weekend. I was proud to join the OSOTL club, proud to blank in such esteemed company. I might have had one bleep on the alarm, it was definately the left hand rod because when I packed up on Sunday I realised I never switched the right hand alarm on at all!
The Monk on 21/07/2010 19:44:18
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Very good Kevin ;) I thought Wols spod and rod were cr*p too, but I didn't want to say anything :D Went through the flicker and I don't think there was one pic were the Monk wasn't smiling and what a cheeky smile it is too..... No wonder he's managed to lure so many ruffe slappers into his bivvy... haha, I try mate, I try ---------- Post added at 19:44 ---------- Previous post was at 19:40 ---------- Very impressive (not to say quick) Kevin. Pretty much the perfect written companion to a very special weekend. I was proud to join the OSOTL club, proud to blank in such esteemed company. I might have had one bleep on the alarm, it was definately the left hand rod because when I packed up on Sunday I realised I never switched the right hand alarm on at all! yeah but just think of the money you saved on batteries Neil
Steve Spiller on 21/07/2010 19:58:45
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Graham, I think I can speak for everyone here, we all turned up to see you off in style, because you deserved it. There aint many like you Boss, you gave us all FishingMagic, I'll bet you never imagined it would take off like it did all those years ago. For me, FishingMagic opened a whole new world, I've made countless lifelong friends. Without FishingMagic that wouldn't have happened, so I am eternally indebted to you. Thank you Boss, you are excellant angler, a wise old bird and a gentleman. Enjoy a very happy, prosperous and long retirement mate. See you next year for part 2 :D
Richard Farrow on 21/07/2010 20:03:49
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An excellent write up on a superb event. Enjoy the memories and your retirement Graham.
J K on 21/07/2010 21:06:33
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Good write up Kevin. I fished OTOSOTL next to Stealph on Saturday and blanked. But what a great weekend and all the best in your retirement Graham.
Dicky (Angling Trust PAC) on 21/07/2010 21:06:42
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A superb write-up for a superb weekend. Cheers Kevin, great to see you again:) Happy retirement Guv, see you next year for part 2... When we will have installed RoSPA compliant steps in Jim's swim to facilitate the successful transit of very enthusiastic former FM editors to activated bream rods... :j
Poshpaul (Angling Trust and PaSC) on 21/07/2010 21:29:31
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I fished OTOSOTL next to Stealph on Saturday and blanked Ah then technically you are in the OTOBOTOSOTL club...On The Opposite Bank Of The Other Side Of The Lake Club. Simples (And I thought learning Magyar was proving blooming difficult!!)
Sean Meeghan on 21/07/2010 21:30:32
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Actually JK you fished ATOEOTL, as did Stealph, because you fished opposite the OTOSOTL rabble.:)
J K on 21/07/2010 21:33:27
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Actually JK you fished ATOEOTL, as did Stealph, because you fished opposite the OTOSOTL rabble.:) Thank you Sean, that explains why you caught and I didn't. :D
Poshpaul (Angling Trust and PaSC) on 21/07/2010 21:35:03
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So that means Stealph and JK are in two clubs; both ATOEOTL and OTOBOTOSOTL. That's pretty nifty. We wondered about you Sean but you kept on blending into the background.....bung a camou hat on and you'd have completely disappeared. Invisibilatummeeghanum as JK Rowling would put it!!
Warren Gaunt on 21/07/2010 21:42:45
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So i think were all looking dead forward to another next year. Barney rung me tonight about this that and the other but most of the conversation was the fish-in. It really was a bloody good crack and i'll look forward to doing another next year. I think location was about right too, so i'll work around the same area. I might even buzz Alan at Boundary and ask if we can have it again, thoughts???
ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) on 21/07/2010 21:46:02
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So that means Stealph and JK are in two clubs; both ATOEOTL and OTOBOTOSOTL. That's pretty nifty. We wondered about you Sean but you kept on blending into the background.....bung a camou hat on and you'd have completely disappeared. Invisibilatummeeghanum as JK Rowling would put it!! I thought you were all fishing Dogger Bank .....
slime monster on 21/07/2010 22:01:00
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I was actually in the corner of the opposite side of the lake ITCOTOSOTL
ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) on 21/07/2010 22:34:25
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................................................
Morespiders on 21/07/2010 22:39:44
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Graham, I think I can speak for everyone here, we all turned up to see you off in style, because you deserved it. There aint many like you Boss, you are an excellant angler, a wise old bird and a gentleman. Pfffft !!!!, your a crawling risole Spiller, the mans a cad and a bounder. Great writeup Mr Perkins, but why oh why do i have to always be associated with old socks?:D
The Bone Collector on 21/07/2010 23:45:51
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So i think were all looking dead forward to another next year. Barney rung me tonight about this that and the other but most of the conversation was the fish-in. It really was a bloody good crack and i'll look forward to doing another next year. I think location was about right too, so i'll work around the same area. I might even buzz Alan at Boundary and ask if we can have it again, thoughts??? Good idea...... and whilst your at it ask him has he got my hat. ---------- Post added at 23:45 ---------- Previous post was at 23:43 ---------- [QUOTE=MORE SPIDERS Great writeup Mr Perkins, but why oh why do i have to always be associated with old socks?:D Because you started it. :p:p
Graham Marsden on 22/07/2010 07:46:41
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Happy retirement Guv, see you next year for part 2... When we will have installed RoSPA compliant steps in Jim's swim to facilitate the successful transit of very enthusiastic former FM editors to activated bream rods... Which means: Dicky will dig out steps to help an old fart get to his or Jim's rods first when he has a bite.:) They both looked after me very well. I only had to nick Dicky's chair once as he offered it to me once or twice. The funniest bit was Jim being sat behind a crowd of blokes gathered behind his rods, with me in front of the queue to strike at any bites. Ed was sat on Uncle Dave's knee, scoffing one Wurther after another, and Barney was plying ale and brandy on me which he knew I didn't want. Rum f****** all of them.:eek:
Warren Gaunt on 22/07/2010 07:48:17
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didnt say no to the jamesons though did ya????????
Graham Marsden on 22/07/2010 07:48:32
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So i think were all looking dead forward to another next year. Barney rung me tonight about this that and the other but most of the conversation was the fish-in. It really was a bloody good crack and i'll look forward to doing another next year. I think location was about right too, so i'll work around the same area. I might even buzz Alan at Boundary and ask if we can have it again, thoughts??? Count me in!:w But don't tell Alan that Uncle Dave is coming again.;)
Warren Gaunt on 22/07/2010 07:54:30
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lol, already spoke to him, he's ok about it as long as he wears a nappy.
ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) on 22/07/2010 08:14:24
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didnt say no to the jamesons though did ya???????? He didn't say no to anything --- as long as it was free !!
Warren Gaunt on 22/07/2010 08:20:00
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unlike you and next time i'm bringing some gum glue for you
ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) on 22/07/2010 08:25:14
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unlike you and next time i'm bringing some gum glue for you Correct !! It's tooth glue I need --my gums are fixed .........
jim_smith on 22/07/2010 08:27:35
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Dear All (Had to change my account name, as i couldn't log-in - Jim Smith here) Thanks to everyone for an incredible weekend - I'll never forget the bank side late night party with Graham almost going in after racing for the rod. Thanks for those who helped when i spike myself with the hook - a regular occurance! Thanks to Wol - for the BBQ, the long-term borrowed shelter, and the 'there's a clear patch out there Jim - really helped me on the road to a couple of bream Wol!!! Oh, and cheers to Andy N - who lent me some plastic sweetcorn when mine ran out - told you i would forget to return it Andy!! Rich has it stored for you. Of course Shaun next door to - who popped in my swim and had a chat often. It was just bloody brill! Finally - Nice Graham!!! Jim
The Monk on 22/07/2010 08:41:21
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Hows your finger Jim, it looked a bit nasty that mate, sooner you than me, haha
Graham Whatmore on 22/07/2010 09:16:36
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Excellent write up Kevin, you at your best. The goats have read that you might be doing it all again next year and have requested a transfer to the Someone Help A Goat charity home.
Kevin Perkins on 22/07/2010 09:42:02
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Thanks all for your kind comments. There was only so much I could put in the article, and there was so much I had to leave out. I omitted the bit about Sean (Ninja) Meeghan poping up in the reeds all over the place like some Japanese sniper, the still zipped-up bivvies of the Car Park crew on Saturday morning ( I so wanted to hurl a bucket of lake water through their flaps....) Slime being blamed for a maladorous stench coming from his bivvy when in fact he had pitched it over the cess pit manhole etc. etc.etc. All I could hope to do was try to convey the sprirt in which ran through the whole three days If there is a repeat next year, then let's do it all again. I will of course be there from Wednesday onwards next time, so I can write a report on the entire proceedings from the car park side........!!!! ps I see no denial from Barney regarding his Dorian Grey like appearance.........
ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) on 22/07/2010 09:56:33
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Nice write up Kevin ... The name tags were a great idea and thanks for the T T sticker By the way,the stench was that bad that Slime had even checked his own trousers just to make sure it wasn't him ......
Kevin Perkins on 22/07/2010 12:49:53
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Posted by Woody on another thread: I pass over the river at least 4 times a week, but I'll be damned if I could find enough free space for two people to fish let alone holding a fish-in. Mind you, they are more of a boozy do these days and to hell with any fishing so anywhere would be OK I suppose As far as I am aware, this Fish-In was held for a specific purpose, that was to celebrate the retirement of FM's most respected editor. Was it a 'boozy' affair certainly, as any celebration would/should be. Was the fishing incidental, to a degree, but that didn't stop some of the participants having a a bl00dy good go. The 'local' who asked if he could take over my swim when I packed up, told be he had recently fished 5 straight days/nights without a single fish. So the fact that 'our' boys caught as many as they did is a testament to just how hard they did try. But like they always say, you really had to be there to appreciate that..................
ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) on 22/07/2010 12:56:44
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Posted by Woody on another thread: I pass over the river at least 4 times a week, but I'll be damned if I could find enough free space for two people to fish let alone holding a fish-in. Mind you, they are more of a boozy do these days and to hell with any fishing so anywhere would be OK I suppose As far as I am aware, this Fish-In was held for a specific purpose, that was to celebrate the retirement of FM's most respected editor. Was it a 'boozy' affair certainly, as any celebration would/should be. Was the fishing incidental, to a degree, but that didn't stop some of the participants having a a bl00dy good go. The 'local' who asked if he could take over my swim when I packed up, told be he had recently fished 5 straight days/nights without a single fish. So the fact that 'our' boys caught as many as they did is a testament to just how hard they did try. But like they always say, you really had to be there to appreciate that.................. Well said Kevin ......
The Bone Collector on 22/07/2010 14:54:15
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Lets have a popularity poll on the site for all posters, Mods, and Eds Corker can set it up he is good at that. Most popular Least popular Going on holiday now see you all in two weeks. :D
Mr Cholmondeley-Corker (PaSC) on 22/07/2010 15:04:13
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Who needs a right good kick in the B*ll*cks? a) The Bone Collector b) The Bone Collector c) The Bone Collector d) All of the above
Steve Spiller on 22/07/2010 17:15:27
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[ame="http://s123.photobucket.com/albums/o304/wendi_oz/Boundry%20Park%20July%20%202010/?action=view¤t=MOV01536.mp4"]Boundry Park July 2010 :: Grahams speech video by wendi_oz - Photobucket[/ame] [ame="http://s123.photobucket.com/albums/o304/wendi_oz/Boundry%20Park%20July%20%202010/?action=view¤t=MOV01558.mp4"]Boundry Park July 2010 :: GolfMagic 1 video by wendi_oz - Photobucket[/ame] [ame="http://s123.photobucket.com/albums/o304/wendi_oz/Boundry%20Park%20July%20%202010/?action=view¤t=MOV01557.mp4"]Boundry Park July 2010 :: GolfMagic 2 video by wendi_oz - Photobucket[/ame] Hope they work..... Yee haa it worked, where would I be without my lovely Wendi :-) Turn your speakers on, apologies for my rather deep sinister laughter.
The Monk on 22/07/2010 18:42:47
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great pictures and vids Wendi, I noticed Steve also had the tidiest bivvy on site, the advantages of taking a lovely lady fishing.
Rodney Wrestt on 22/07/2010 19:09:13
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great pictures and vids Wendi, I noticed Steve also had the tidiest bivvy on site, the advantages of taking a lovely lady fishing. All true..... but Monk, I've never seen you slip up like that before mate :eek: made me laugh though :D
Steve Spiller on 22/07/2010 19:39:06
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The two other clips are of the guys trying to bait my swim with esterberry boilies. Slime has been brought up on those crazy golf courses down in Torquay :D
Warren Gaunt on 22/07/2010 20:43:28
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Dont think at that angle they were baiting ur swim, more like hitting my brolly!
Steve Spiller on 22/07/2010 20:57:11
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Yes mate, I've never seen so many hookers in the same place! :wh And the tits wasted my secret esterberries! (I know they were slicing, or were they fading? Open limp wrists, but hookers was better ;)) :D
The Monk on 22/07/2010 21:37:29
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@ I've never seen so many hookers in the same place!@ You don`t get out enough mate


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