A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's licence. She dug through her handbag and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square make-up mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, 'Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop too."

Hahahahahahah! Hahahhahahahahahahahah! Hahahahahahahahahah!

Ha-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Hahahahahahahahah!

Hahahahahah!

Hahhah.

Huh?

Good un Ed.

Any jokes about Orange women? Next door neigbours daughter (and Lesbian. If we are allowed to use the term) has gone to the orange side. She has been tangoed.

Don't know how much she/he paid for colourung of skin, but last week she/he paid £100 for hair to be done. Done she has been.  What a sight? Not pretty.

As he passes by the record shop, a sign catches his eye. "Just Released - New LP - Wasps of the World & the sounds that they make - Available now"

Unable to resist the temptation, Brian goes into the shop.

"I am the leading expert on world wasps and the sounds that they make.I'd very much like to listen to the new LP you have advertised in the window."

"Certainly, Sir," says the young man behind the counter. "If you'd like to step into the booth and put on the headphones, I'll put the LP on for you."

Brian, the expert on world wasps, goes into the booth and puts on the earphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth and announces, "I am the leading expert on world wasps and the sounds that they make and yet I recognised none of those."

"I'm sorry Sir", says the young assistant. "If you'd care to step into the booth, I can let you have another 10 minutes."

Brian, the expert on world wasps and the sounds they make, steps back into the booth and replaces the headphones.

Ten minutes later, he comes out of the booth shaking his head. "I don't understand it", he says,"I am the leading expert on world wasps and the sounds that they make, and yet I still can't recognise any of those!"

"I really am terribly sorry", says the young assistant............. I've just realised I was playing you the bee side."

Hmmmmm!

CDs haven't reached Liverpool yet. Perhaps it's safe to leave them lying around in your car there.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Tom liked to frequent the swimming pool but was never able to attract the girls.
He decided to ask his friend Billy for advice.
 
"It's those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old fool..They're years out of fashion. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos, about two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside them. I'm telling you...you'll have all the babes you want!"

The following weekend, Tom hits the swimming pool with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato.

Everybody at the swimming pool was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away,laughing,and looking sick!

Tom went back to his buddy Billy and asked him, "What's wrong now?"

"Good Lord, Tom!" said Billy "The potato goes in the front!!!"

I bet that's from your own personal experience then, Ed.

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

 He concludes by saying, 'And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed.'

'OH NO!' Mr. Bush exclaims. 'That's terrible!'

His staff sit stunned at this sudden outward display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands, almost sobbing.

Finally, the president looks up and asks, 'Just how many is a brazillion, anyway?'

I saw Bush on TV last night and he made up a sentence, all on his own I'm sure, that was pretty well spot on. I understood it at least, but whether it was what he meant to say, I don't think he was too sure. Still, at least he's making progress.

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.

.

.

.

Pity his job finishes in another 6 months. ( and 3 weeks) 

A blonde moves to Beverly Hills, hoping to find an acting job.

After a couple weeks with no luck, she decides to go around to some of the rich people's houses and see if she can do some odd jobs for them to make a little money.

She finally goes to one house, and a guy and his wife come to the door.

 "Sure, I have a job for you," says the guy, "You can paint my porch. How much money do you want?" The blonde thinks about it and says "I can do it in less than an hour. Twenty bucks!"

The guy says "Fine, there's a gallon can of paint and a brush in the garage, let me know when you're finished." So off she goes to the garage.

The guy's wife says to him "Fred, that wasn't fair, you tricked the poor girl. She doesn't realize the porch runs around the corner all down the west side of the house to the deck. It'll take her the whole day!"

"Too bad!," he says, "Maybe that dumb blonde will learn a lesson."

An hour later, the blonde is at the door again: "All Finished! And I had enough paint to put on a second coat! Oh, and by the way: that's a Ferrari you have there, not a Porsche.

Can I change my mind Gummy?

Only kidding..........................I'll stick with the one I chose.