Following on from Cakeys brilliant charity auction, I thought that I would follow it up with an auction to help the poor and idle of South Yorkshire!
Summer is all but here, and there are still lots of family’s around the Pontefract area who don’t have a nice comfy sofa in the front garden which they can sit on swigging lager and sunbathing!
I am sure you shall agree that this is disgraceful…ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL.
To be honest, I was shocked that this can still be the case in a modern society.
So GORDON BROWN!....you are taking sofas off the poor of this country to instead support the fat backsides of the ruling establishment and posh people in Harrogate you bloody Welsh swine!
Fight back now and put your bid in, (two runners up will get a game of dominos and pie and chips at Pontefract WMC).
The winning bidder shall be met at the railway station in the White Rose shopping centre at Sheffield by my auntie Kathleen (she will be wearing ski pants and a short top with her huge belly hanging out…if you haven’t got any ski pants, they can be provided on the day, if you are skinny, I suggest you start eating pies and monster munch now, as there are (God forbid) no thin people in Yorkshire!).
You will be trained in how to shove the swag under my two year old nephew Normans pram (named after Norman Hunter the great Leeds United thug and football player).
On entering any fitting rooms, you have three minutes to put on all the garments under your outside clothes, we advise only two pairs of trousers, as if you have to leg it from the security guards, you will end up with chapped thighs and an ankle tag!).
Refreshments shall be provided as you walk around Marks and Spencer, please eat as much as you like, but remember to dispose of all wrappers before reaching the checkout.
The highest bidder wins.
Good luck everybody!
