"And my FAVORITE…… The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you."

Likewise, one in three men are homosexual. I'm OK, a butch hetrosexual, that's me.

How about you Cakey? If you're OK that leaves Ed out of the last three posters.

I'm OK -- so it must be Cakey ..............

You posted that you were the mental one  ---

Jeff reckons you're also a homo ......

So you're a nut-case woofter ........

A man wants to have his penis enlarged so he goes to a specialist who recommends a new procedure of attaching an elephant trunk to the end of the penis.

The man goes for it and ends up with a humongous penis.

One day, while eating dinner at his girlfriends, his penis reaches up from under the table, grabs a bun and slides back down under the table.

The girlfriend is amazed. "That's incredible", she says, "Can you do it again?"

The man replies, "I'd love to, but I don't think my arse can handle another bun right now".

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties.
The Taliban asked,
'Do you have water?'
The Jewish man replied, 'I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only £5.'
The Taliban shouted,
'Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!
'OK,' said the old Jewish man, 'it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me.I will show you that I am bigger than that.If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Shalom.'
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.

'Your f***ing brother won't let me in without a tie!'

'Your f***ing brother won't let me in without a tie!'

 HAHAHAHAHHA

ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) wrote (see)

Some will be good, some will be bad and some will be corny ........but there'll be one every day (unless i'm ill or on holiday)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And in case you hadn't noticed --- It's still today .......... until midnight ......

I notice you didn't complain when I posted 2 on the 22nd...

By the way ...Does everyone whinge in Devon ???

My wife and I went to the county fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.  We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, 
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'Wow That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said,
in capital letters, 
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,'That's once a day   ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) wrote (see)

My wife and I went to the county fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.  We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 
' THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs .....Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, 
''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'Wow That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said,
in capital letters, 
'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,'That's once a day   ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said,
'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

A man and a woman meet at a bar one day and are getting along really well.
They decide to go back to the woman's house where they engage in passionate love making.
Suddenly, they hear a noise at the door and the woman says,
 "Quick, my husband is home. Go hide in the bathroom!"
The husband comes up into the bedroom and looks at her.
"Why are you naked?" he asks.
The woman smiles and says coyly,
"Well, I heard you pull up outside, so I thought I would come up here and get ready!"
"Okay," the husband replies, "I'll be back in a minute."
Before his wife can stop him, he goes into the bathroom and sees the naked man standing there clapping his hands.
"Who the hell are you?" the husband asks.
"I'm from the extermination company".he replied "Your wife called me in to get rid of the moths you are having trouble with."
The husband, getting angrier by the moment, exclaims,
"Then why you are naked?"
The man then looks down at himself and exclaims, "Those greedy little bastards!"

   A Mexican family was considering  putting their grandfather Pedro in a nursing home.
Unfortunately, all the Hispanic homes were completely full  so they had to put him in   an Italian home. After a  few weeks in the Italian home, they came to  visit Grandpa.

'How do you  like it here?' asks the grandson.
'It's  wonderful!  Everyone here is so courteous and respectful, says grandpa.
'We're so happy for you. We  were worried that this was the wrong place for you.  You know, since you are a little different from  everyone.'
 'Oh, no! Let me tell you about how  wonderfully they treat the residents,"says Pedro  with a big smile.

'There's a musician  here -- he' s 85 years old. He hasn't played the  violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him  'Maestro'!'
 
There is a judge in here -- he's 95  years old.  He hasn't been on the bench in 30  years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honour'!'
 
'There's a dentist here -- 90 years old.  He  hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years and everyone still  calls him Doctor?!'
 
And me  -- I haven't had sex for 35 years and they still call  me 'The Fucking Mexican'."