The Alternative Angler - Alternative Websites

TickleTimesTotallyMagic.com EVERYONE AND HIS brother seems to be launching fishing websites these days, but TickleTackle have waited until now to enable them to bring you a 'One stop shop' point of contact, which will be an amalgamation of everything the angler could want in one site. Examples of the innovative new format are shown below: Articles In a bold new move the site operators are able to pay contributors for their articles due to generous sponsorship from the likes of PoundShopTackle (Complete fishing outfits, including rod reel, salmon beat etc. giving everything you need to start fishing for £7.99) through to SnatchYourHouseBackLoans plc for those actually contemplating a purchase of any item from the TickleTackle range - full catalogue available on site, £50 charge for password protected entry to stop gawping time wasters. Due to the amount of revenue being generated by sponsors and subscriptions, some big name anglers have been signed up, starting with Don Housebrick giving us the first in a series of 102 articles he has written telling us just how to fish for pike with jerk baits in trout reservoirs. Don't worry if you miss an edition, when you've seen one, you've seen them all……. Lifestyle Weekly horoscopes from the world-renowned fortune teller Gypsy Petrolsniffer. Startlingly accurate predictions about your prowess with your tackle. For a trifling additional fee a personalised reading can be obtained simply by holding your hand up to your monitor, and Gypsy Petrolsniffer will reveal all by reading your palm through the screen, results sent by email, of course. In addition, those with plenty of disposable income will be able to partake in a séance, a unique chance to make contact with one of angling's long lost legends. Imagine the opportunity to put questions to one of fishing's greatest, such as Dick Walker. Apart from getting the great man's take on how modern tackle, methods and venues have changed and developed, you can ask the burning question that so many want answered “Just what did happen in your fishing hut?” Fish' n'M8 A bit like the Fish-ins on other sites, but geared more to one on one meetings rather than groups (although that's always a possibility). A chance for like-minded individuals to meet up and share common interests. Introduction fee payable, no refunds given, and be aware that photos posted on member's details may/may not bear any resemblance to the individual that turns up. CuisineScene We have managed to get hold of celebrity chef Jamie Ramsey to teach you lot how to cook pukka f*****g dishes to amaze and impress. As well as the usual trout, salmon and bass recipes, he will cover all manner of ethnic and religious tastes with dishes such as carp with cranberry, and the latest craze, swan sushi, freshly prepared by the water's edge. Later on, Jamie will feature a series of interviews with top anglers called Fish 'n' Fishermen and to kick off Jamie gets to chat to a well-known match angler who reveals his thoughts on what to do with unwanted pike. Forums Here you will find all the usual information, and banter, but in far more detail. In the manner of an automated telephone system you will log on to the heading and go through a number of profiling options, to ensure you gain access to the correct threads, for instance: Barbel Q1. Chose your make and model of v.v. expensive barbel rod from the drop down list. If you do not have one that's listed, you won't get on the forum until you do, or see caveat in Q2. Q2. If you couldn't select an item from Q1, you may still gain entry if you possess a v.expensive, hand-built, limited edition, burr walnut presentation boxed centre pin reel, drop down list shows acceptable models. Again, if you do not, entry is barred. If all is well, continue: Q3. Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the BS? Select Yes to continue, select No to be transferred to the BS membership waiting list. Q4. Choose your favourite from these rivers: Gt. Ouse, Trent, Other. Selected Gt. Ouse? Are you Grahame King? Yes/No - if Yes continue, if No, are you a member of the Adam's Mill syndicate? If Yes continue, if No, It will be a bloody long time before you get to fish it then, won't it, so why did you put this down as your favourite? Selected Trent? Are you a member of HPSS - Yes/No. If Yes continue, if No - Bugger off. Selected Other? You're not really a barbel fisherman at all, are you? Choose another species. SeatBox SoapBox A chance to discus any topic you like, and no fear of interruption by a moderator. Simply enter your credit card details, then post your thread or comment to our team of retained barristers. For only £250 per hour (or part thereof) they will tell you if you can legally post the comment, what laws you will break if you decline their advice, and will happily represent you in defending any resulting libel actions. DesignArrrrgh……! Ever had a piece of tackle that broke after ten minutes, didn't do what it said on the packet, or failed miserably in a group test? Well here is your chance to berate the bloke who dreamed it up. This is a webcam set link where you get to ask the designer face to face just what the **** he thought he was doing unleashing such a pile of c***. Ps: If you thought you would be put through to confront the well known angler whose name is splashed all over the aberrant product - think again………… TackledUp Breaking news on what's really hot, with the lead story all about groundbait mixing. The current craze for using cordless drills and whisks on the bankside to whip up huge batches has attracted the attention of a bright young entrepreneur. With some envelope pushing foresight, he has acquired a redundant cement-mixing lorry, and can now arrange to deliver ready mixed groundbait by the cubic metre, right to your swim. If that doesn't give you an advantage over the next man when it comes to balling it in, nothing will. In a similar vein, a Wigan based company has come up with a cross-over item in the shape of a domed pie crust that you can turn upside down and use as a groundbait mixing bowl, and then eat it when you are finished. Saves on the bankside washing up. All this at the click of a button at TickleTimesTotallyMagic.com. Simply log on, fill in your details, pay joining fee, annual membership, CRB check fee (don't want no riff-raff, do we?) and surf away to your heart's content, or at least up to your agreed hourly access limit, anyway……..