Results of The Chavs vs The Ace's
It was all Gav's fault! Or at least I think it was. It may have been Graham's but in any event it all started back in November when five lines of type appeared on the FishingMagic Forum.
Those five lines then grew into well over 2,000 posts (some of which defied the English language), became an embryo internet challenge and eventually blossomed into a real world event. Two teams were required and the only qualification needed was governed by that irrefutable and permanent handicap known as "AGE".
So it was on a very wet and windy Saturday morning in January, close to 30 FM members and some hardy spectators gathered in the car park of Gold Valley Lakes in the Deep South (Hampshire actually). Many clutched Birth Certificates, Passports, Letters from mummy, National Service Call Up Papers and Pension Books in the hope of ensuring they fished for the right team.
Last minute negotiations and discussions with ACAS had seen some re-alignment to ensure evenly balanced teams (at least on the numerical front) but some late cancellations meant there was a small imbalance. This was a minor issue for the team concerned as they were highly confident and promised never to mention it again.
The very heavy overnight rain and strong winds were soon forgotten as the teams enjoyed an excellent breakfast in the clubhouse and the usual pleasantries were exchanged. As planned, at precisely 08:45 the rain ceased, although the winds continued to howl, and a totally fair and honest draw for pegs ensured the two teams were evenly (and oddly) distributed around the fishery's Middle Lake and were set for the five hour battle. One exception appeared to involve the team captains who somehow drew adjacent pegs which just happened to be the venue "flyers". (Order, ORDER! Somebody drew my peg for me, and in front of witnesses! - Graham)
Secretive huddles were spotted in all corners of the car park as plans were finalised, bait and tackle checked for the 50th time and Peter Jacobs, although assisted by his Ghillie, completed 14 round trips from car to peg with assorted gear.
Ed was charged with the responsibility of collecting and administering the pools money (whose idea was that?) [Ed's - Graham]. A more inspired idea was enlisting the services of Wendi Spiller and Wendy Bourne to flog the raffle tickets. They did an amazing job, more of which later!
The pegging was intimate and designed so that most of the combatants could at least see almost everyone else and in most cases hear everyone else. Having drawn 'end -pegs', certain Prima-Donnas were overheard complaining about "only having half a swim," but their protests were totally ignored. Having lost overboard one the many attachments for his sparkling new seat box, Mark Wintle was trying to find somewhere to put his bait and things. Ed turned up with several car tyres, minus hub caps (honestly, he really did,) and stacked them very neatly alongside Mark. Very effective but I don't think it will catch on.
Battle commenced at 10:00 whereupon, for the majority, the next 2 to 3 hours were marked only by lots of inactivity! Most of the resident carp had decided to have a day off! Maybe it was the rain, the wind, the temperature or the pressure. Surely it wasn't down to our lack of skill or ability? Personally, having drawn a crap swim, I was surprised to latch onto a small common within three minutes, swiftly followed by another two minutes later. They then must have moved of their own accord because I didn't get a touch for another four hours!
It was hard going for all. The match was to be decided on a points basis for both carp and silvers and those silvers were to prove a godsend as they put in an occasional appearance. Apart from perch, roach, rudd and bream, crucian carp and tench also made unseasonal appearances. Claudia caught her first ever tench to whoops of delight heard all over Northern Hampshire and Wendy was justifiably pleased with her several bream.
David Bourne's patience was rewarded with a couple of nice perch and David M eventually had a carp, bream and crucian in three consecutive casts, having lost a few early on. Mark Wintle was kept busy clearing his swim of various debris, including half a tree, but why he chose to use a pole for this is questionable. Surely a grappling hook would have been the better option?
Nigel Connor's slumber was interrupted when an 8 ½lb carp made a mistake and I understand Peter Jacobs had just about settled in his swim, at around 12 noon, when he promptly hooked and lost a decent carp, to much applause from the watching Ed. From where I was sat, Andy Nellist looked as though he was sunbathing, very relaxed and obviously very confident, but fishless.
Wol Gaunt had drawn an absolute flyer of an end peg. Loads of room, an island and good looking margins. Well, you know what they say about "a good angler in a good swim". Let's just say he didn't bother the scorers on the carp front. He did OK with the silvers though. Graham Marsden applied all his 'old' specialist skills to catch possibly the smallest mirror carp I've ever seen, probably about 2oz (Like me though, it was small but good looking).
A late, late run of carp benefited Mike Last as he nabbed a few and leapt up the leader board. Woody landed a fine 1 ½lb Perch and Scott Whatmore found some willing carp to also secure some valuable points. Steve Spiller was missing his pet barbel but managed a few carp and 'bits' whilst his brother 'Little Sis' was doing it all wrong but quietly netting carp after carp. Nearby, Paul 'Brummie', 'Yam Yam', 'Yum Yum' Williams (just how many nicknames has he got?), was building good weights in both sections.
Eventually the air-horn sounded the all-clear and relief was granted, the weigh-in would not take too long and we could all clear off to the pub. As it goes, some good catches were recorded and everyone weighed in something to contribute to their team scores. The reason why Gav's hard earned catch was 'missed off' the weight sheet will probably remain an unsolved mystery unless someone can enlighten me.
| 
Neil Maidment
