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Thread: my little pond

  1. #11
    Wolfman Woody Guest

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    Nothing wrong with gnomes, they deserve a life too you know!!!

    I worked with a woman once and she absolutely hated them. Her and her husband had a small chicken farm on the main road with clean grass lawns to the front. I always promised to buy one and stick right against her front path for devilment.

    The woman next door doesn't have any gnomes, just plastic and pot squirrels all over her garden. I can't understand it because we have loads or real live squirrels running around anyway, but they haven't worked out how to mate with the plastic ones yet. "Ouch, oh come on love, open up a bit." I hear them say.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Warrington
    Posts
    544

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    Thank's to Jason for starting this thread.
    He is right what a brilliant day it is for enjoying the garden pond and surroundings. I have just come in for a brew, it is scorching hot now at 11.a.m. later this afternoon I will sit in the shaded part of my garden next to the silver birch tree I planted twenty years ago, which affords some nice dappled shade, and take further stock of my surroundings.
    There is one seriouse pest in my garden at the moment (Wifeus Destructus ) It has the habit of wanting to remove hare bells and snakes head frittiliaries, and replace them with pansies and petunias. One method for getting rid of this pest is to turn the hosepipe on it.
    Gnomes aren't too bad, they can be abducted. As pointed out before it is the Hop Goblins you have to watch out for.
    Ah well, brew time over, back to my Paradise Garden,more from cranks Farm later.

  3. #13
    The Monk Guest

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    Dont think I`m being racist here, I love Boggarts and other little guys that roam about in the night, I just prefer not to have gnomes in the garden (NIMBY) or not in my back garden as the case may be!

    and they may sound aweful and uncaring to all you gnomes lovers out there, but basically all a gnome is, is a usless lump of coloured plastic, I mean it doest even do anything, apart from look really ridiculous sat around a pond with a fishing rod in its hand (and they don`t buy rod licences) take note EA

  4. #14
    The Monk Guest

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    same goes for anything similar, plastic and stone herons, hedgehogs, rabbits, cant stand them, all manmade and unnatural

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Warrington
    Posts
    544

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    Sunday
    16th /May/20004
    13.18 hrs.
    Cranks Farm.

    Gentlemen,
    Further to my posting this morning, it is my great displeasure to inform you of events that took place while I was absent from my Paradise Garden.
    I was exchangeing pleasantries with you my dear friends and at the same time having a cup of char.
    On my return to my beloved semi wild haven, I discovered that (Wifeus Desructus) had dug up a full patch of native grown Marsh Marrigolds, to be replaced with pansies.
    Gentlemen, A War Has Started!!

  6. #16
    The Monk Guest

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    divorce her mate, dont stand no messy

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Warrington
    Posts
    544

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    This is a war of attrition Monk. If wifeus Destructus thinks that any of her plants will flourish,.................then she doesn't know me at all. Death to all foreign invaders. (plants)

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Warrington
    Posts
    544

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    I must have things completely wrong concerning the garden, or have I?
    According to psychologists I am Neanderthal man in the garden, who likes nothing more than to roll the pebble drive or mow the lawn, the lawn mower is said to be an extension of the garden shed, where I can go and skulk, and we can only be let loose with a hoe under the strictest supervision. Anything that doesn’t take too much thought is assessed to be within my capabilities.
    And now gentlemen we come to the ladies part in the garden. According to the psychologists, the ladies are the inventors, the designers, the aristocrats of flowerbed construction.
    As to the ladies, I say go forth and multiply yourself.
    Women like to cut the heads off flowers or buy plants from Timbuktu and say look what I have grown. Does the average female know anything about soil structures ? No! Do they know what the nitrogen cycle is ? No! Then what do they know about anything you may well ask?
    Long and hard has the battle been fought between Mars and Venus in the garden, but in my domain there will only ever be one winner. I am the Alpha male, I am the hunter-gatherer, and I will have the last word.




  9. #19
    Budgie Burgess Guest

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    Must be the odd one out here as my garden is a jungle of weeds, overgrown fruit trees,part restored Porches,knackered sheds,"un put out late at night for the bin man" bin bags and Kents finnest and biggest collection of dog turds!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Warrington
    Posts
    544

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    If you have a jungle of weeds Budgie, that means your soil is in perfect condition with no shortage of food traces. I am not kidding when I say a bed of weeds can be attractive, (in the right place).
    I have even tried to get daisies to grow on my lawn by transplanting them, to make it look more natural.
    I don't care much for the latin names of plants, I can't pronounce them anyway. And don't know of many people that can properly.
    Talking of our own natural wild flowers such as -: Jack by the Hedge, the marbled leaves of Lords and Ladies, Devils Bit Scabiouse, Corn Cockle, and Herb Robert, that red and green leaved plant with a little pink flower that grows on the poorest of soils, and my own favourite Foxglove, the bees love them.
    As for these foreign imports that wifeus destructus keeps on putting in, All I will say is that I have been doing a bit of hoeing tonight, and the only thing that springs to mind is -: Petunias?? I see no Petunias.
    More tea Vicar?

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