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  1. #1

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    Hi,

    Ive just found a smoking little water in the middle of nowhere that is fished by a few clueless yokels. I went to have a "covert" look at the place yesterday and even in all the snow there where a few good kippers moving about and bubbling all over the place. The bloke who owns the pool is a real miserable old so and so, my question is....... how do i convince him to let me sit amongst these toothless fools and let me fish it....?

    cheers, foxy

  2. #2
    Paul Christie 3 Guest

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    A bottle of Malt??

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Warrington
    Posts
    544

    Default

    Reynard,
    A dodge that Bob, an old gentleman poacher used to use was to pay the farmer a visit with the daily newspaper, and a bunch of flowers for his good lady wife.
    I myself was surprised at how many times this introduction worked.

  4. #4
    Wolfman Woody Guest

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    Get your wife / girldfriend / mate to knock your teeth out and learn to play the banjo.

    Then go see him.

  5. #5
    david bruce 1 Guest

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    Tell him you are from the EC and need to assess the stocks in the water before deciding how HUGE a grant to allocating him

  6. #6

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    I'd send somebody else to ask if I was you Foxy, the local yokels, miserable old gits and toothless fools might see through your brand of diplomacy......

  7. #7
    John McLaren Guest

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    Well said Graham, us clueless yokels should stick together.

  8. #8
    swordsy Guest

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    A bottle of "good malt" and a polite manner, do not blast the water with everything modern tec can offer either if you put three rods out you will be off quicker than you know it. one rod and a pleasant manner.

  9. #9

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    A bottle of malt and politeness is the best way and follow Lee's advice regarding tackle. Whatever you do don't offer money because he might suddenly realise a club or or an association would pay him good rental.
    Me and and some made that mistake on a stretch of the Suffolk Stour some years back. We fished it for one season only before the land owner rented it out to Colchester A.S..

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Warrington
    Posts
    544

    Default

    Okay then, if the offer of money is not the way forward.
    March briskly down the cobbled path, dressed in your best set of tweeds, highly polished hob nailed boots, swinging your left arm, with a shillelagh made of blackthorn tucked tightly under your right arm, and a spring in your step.
    Go around to the side door, ignoring the two dogs snapping at your jacksy, and give the door three or five good raps with your cudgel.
    After a respectable wait of fifteen minuets, give a further three or five raps in staccato fashion, this usually brings a response but is not guaranteed.
    Hopefully it will be the farmerís wife who opens the door to you. Pull your cap to a jaunty angle, clear your throat, and ask if you could speak to her mother, at the same time brandishing a bunch of freshly picked daffodils you filched from a neighbouring farm.
    As you are speaking to her, make sure you are stood downwind so she does not smell the whisky on your breath. Cough politely, not forgetting to put your thumb and first finger to your mouth and tipping your little finger. Display all the mannerisms of a country gentleman, while proceeding to give her a good flannelling.

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