Silly things you have done...

[Stuart Bullard]

I have done the 1 hour drive and forgotten my fishing reels, but my proper list of stupidest things are not fishing related, but they were funny;

1. Waiting to go into bat in an important cricket match. Sitting on a deck chair, decided to move it round towards the sun, it collapsed, I fell backwards and snapped both thumbs (ouch).

2. In bed, very bad case of wind so I decided to move offending backside out of the bed clothes so as not to offend the wife. Released an absolute snorter. Opened my eyes only to realize that I had fallen into a rather deep sleep on a packed commuter train traveling to London. To make matters worse, in the process of moving the offending backside into a “safe” position, I had actually “cuddled” it up against a lady passengers thigh!

3. During my driving test I tried to be a bit clever. The examiner said “when I tap this pencil, please bring the car to a stop as quickly as possible”. Seeing him raise his pencil I actually did the procedure a bit early. Result – examiner had to have the pencil surgically removed from his nasal cavity.

There are many more. I have a bit of a reputation for these things!

 

[pete proctor]

I once changed a gas cylinder in my bivvie causing a leakage. And then I lit the stove with the bivvie still full of gas. There was a blinding flash, singeing my hair and eyebrows and setting the mosquito mesh alight. Funny now, but at the time it scared me to death.

 

[Ron Clay]

Went fishing early one morning on the boat. Left the tent door open all day. That evening had a heck of a problem trying to get rid of two red lipped Herald snakes that got into my sleeping bag!!

 

[Birds Nest]

Stuart, no 2 is a classic !!!!

 

[Stuart Bullard]

Sad, but very true Birds Nest........

 

[Kevan Busby]

Thanks Stuart, just been drying my eyes.
Many years ago I cycled the 2 miles from home in the early morning, walked through the fields to the Mere, tackled up and walked out onto the stage, promptly fell straight through into 6ft of freezing water, cycled home again only to be chased out of the house by an angry Mother who objected to her son dripping on her best kitchen lino.

True story about a friend who must remain anonymous (he's bigger than me)! Said friend was bivvied up for the weekend on one of our local waters, hears a fish crash further down in the margin, cannot reach from where he is so wanders down the bank and casts to the fish. Now he cannot get his rod back to the pod so he strips down to his boxers and wades around, positions rod on pod and retrieves clothes. Lights coleman stove and proceeds to dry boxers but attention wanders to the fish activity in front of him. Attention is re-focused when hands become abnormally warm, blazing boxers are then rapidly ejected from bivvy followed by dancing naked man much to the amusement of children out walking with parents.

 

[Kevan Busby]

Another classic. Friend with new carp gear, he's lining up a real overhead distance chuck with his new 3 1/2 tc rod, begins the pendulum, forward, back, forward, back and whack it out - result new door in the rear of his Fox Dome, sorry Andy.

 

[andrew jackson]

Its funny your mate is called Andy, because I have done a very similar trick. I was winding up for a big chuck, as I layed into the rod I knew instantly that all was not well. My arm was nearly dislocated such was the resistance at the other end. Instictivly I checked the cast, but allas I was too late. This was confirmed by the fact that my coat flew over my head and landed about ten feet out into the lake. Somehow I had managed to whip it clean off the back of my chair. Too make matters worse this happened on a very busy day ticket water, and the whole lake errupted into fits of laughter.

 

[Dave Kennedy]

i was once fishing on grantchester meadows in cambridge (free stretch)

The river was running fast as there had been a lot of rain recently. i had set up at 6am and was catching fairly well.

By 9am there sudenly apeared aprox 500 people......they were only holding the county cross country championship...and the start point was imediatly behind me.

needless to say during the morning i had quite a few people watching me fish, and i was catching quite a few fish......until i got one fantastic bite on the leger rod.

The tip pulled round and i struck into what i thought was a damm good fish. it was putting up a fantastic fight.

took me all of 5 minuites to land a black bin liner washed down with the flood water...........

i felt a right prat,as by the time i landed the fish there must have been 50 people watching me.

 

[Carp Angler]

Fishing with Brummie last summer on a big pit in Oxfordshire and hooked a big carp off the top.
Big 15 minute scrap and the fish is buried in a weedbed about 15 yards out.
I kit off down to my kegs and go in for it.
I'm in upto my chest but it's still out of reach, the fish rolls over on the hooklength and its gone.
I walk bank to the bank and trudge out of the lake just wearing a sopping wet pair of skids, just as two nuns walk around the footpath behind my swim.

 

[Jim Hinchley]

bought myself a new 20 ft stickfloat rod and youngs purist centre pin for christmas 2 years ago. Went out on boxing day on the wharfe and tackled up at the top of the very steep bank, climbed down and found i only had 18 ft of stick float rod with the top 2 ft snapped off at the top of the bank. A little upset i clambered back up the bank tackled down with the intention of getting the tip rod out. As i removed the centrepin from the rod yep i dropped it , it landed perfectly on its edge and proceeded to roll straight down the bank and into the margin. No luck here cause it was a straight 4 ft deep edge so i had to get very cold and wet getting in to feel around for it . I found it and got dressed but went home straight away as i hear these things come in 3's.

 

[Shrek]

The one that got mentioned at my wedding courtesy of my best man.
The stretch of Upper Avon I used to fish often had cows or sheep in the field. One evening session I was so intent on fishing I suddenly realised it might be raining, but out of a pure clear sky I wondered how. It wasn't until I turned round and saw the backside of a cow a few feet away from me and a large brown cirle of somethng on the ground I realised. Luckily I had a t-shirt on under my other shirt.

 

[James Lewis]

in a bit of a rush to get fishing i was rapidly assembling my tackle collection in the vicinity of the car... i securely strap the holdall to the roofrack, chuck a coat in the back and reverse off the drive...
As i attempt to reverse onto the main road a car beeps at me... dont take offence, im not pushing in i thought, and reversed a bit more... more frantic beeping from two cars.... id just reversed over my fishing tackle!!!.
Another one was 10 or 15 years ago when me and a mate were making our way to a swim on the wye... heavily burdened with holdalls etc. we came across a stile which my mate was first to cross, he swang one leg across the stile and paused for about half a second before jolting and shouting, he jumped and jolted again swearing he took another jolt as he dived for the ground....Sat there swearing amongst spilt bait, open seat box and scattered tackle the reason bacame clear... the farmer had stapled the wire of the electric fence across the top of the stile and my mate had just take 3 jolts of a few thousand volts through his boll**ks.
I didnt stop lauging for the whole day.
Jim

 

[Philip Inzani]

Trying to jump over those small ditches that you come across when roving along rivers has to be the silliest thing I do, silliest because I just NEVER learn....

Yes I know it does not look very wide.
Yes I know the ground across looks solid.
Yes I know that the stile to get across safely is only 20 yards away.

...and yes I know that no matter how long I stand there mulling I will eventually attempt to jump it and spend the rest of the day squelching along caked in mud from head to foot and cursing my own stupidity!

 

[Stewart Moss]

Stuart, the train incident is one of the funniest things I ever read. What happened next?

My silliest thing was agreeing to hold a treble clear of the net for a mate whilst he quickly unhooked the other from a calm, exhausted Pike's jaws, with the fish still in the net.
Yep, you've guessed it, the mischievous rascal flapped.

Unfortunately I then realise the only barbed hook on the barbless trebles has gone into my right index finger up to the bend.

Unhooking myself was one of the most stomach turning things I've ever known, girlfreind Teresa couldn't watch for feeling sick, but Justin eventually unhooked and released me after approx 45 mins screaming.
"If I can just release that last bit of gristle"
Thanks Justin.

 

[John Huntley]

After buying 4 kg of hempseed at the pet shop got in the car and lobbed the plastic bag over my shoulder into the back seat. Pop, the bag burst and spilt hempseed everywhere. I`ll be finding them forever, like the sand from visits to the sea side.