The art of fishing sucessfully

[no-one in particular]

Last time I went fishing I opened the chair, put my newspaper down, my bag on top of it and set up. After half an hour I was not happy with my float rig so went to change it. Couldn’t find my knife, left it at home, so opened a small penknife on my key-set to cut the line and remove the float. I was doing this by laying the line on the jetty railing when suddenly my wrist gave way and everything went sideways. I was keeping my eye on the float which was sliding towards the sea but thankfully just stopped on the edge of the jetty wall. I got down and retrieved it then looked for my keys with the penknife. Couldn’t find them anywhere and then it dawned on me they must have fallen in the drink; a major depression came on, do I dive in and look for them or just dive in and drown which at this point was a good option.
However, I worked out that they just may stay on the bottom and if I wait till low tide I might just be able to get them back but that meant hanging about until 6-7pm, more depression.
Nothing for it but to carry on fishing although I did not feel like it. Attached float and started fishing but the float kept sinking, it was a cheap plastic thing, one that I only bought from a bloke last year on a market stall because I felt sorry for him as he had not sold anything all day and it was only a couple a quid and it must have cracked a hole when it was hitting the deck. Oddly enough the first one had a hole and I took it back and he replaced it with this one.Anyway, now I had found I had somehow left all my floats at home so found an old wine cork at the bottom of my tackle bag and set it up somehow, I couldn’t really care less at this point, all this took an hour and finally I sat down to contemplate my misery and have a major breakdown in comfort, as I lifted my bag and news paper under it were my keys, thank you God you major twaat but, ecstasy never the less. I had at some point thrown them in the bag but they missed and slid down the chair and under the news paper; it must have been when I bent down to get the float but in all the mayhem had instantly forgotten I had done that.
Just to wrap the day up, my old camping chair binkered and collapsed under me and when I collapsed my telescopic rod the line and trace had somehow wound twice yes twice - between the top eye and second eye, how the hell did that happen.
I swear I have not made any of that up; I hate fishing, really loathe it-you can shove it somewhere inglorious..

 

[mikench]

Thanks for posting an example of the combination of Sod's law and ineptitude, a phenomenon I am all to familiar with!

I really do curse myself sometimes when I break a float, drop several green quick change beads in the grass and miss out one or more eyes on the rod!!! I even threaded the line through one eye twice last week! I can drop a twig on my slatted wooden peg and it remains on the peg! Drop a piece of shot, a float,a snap link swivel one even a small rod rest and I can guarantee it will disappear into the water!

Far pegs away from the World are perfect for me on those occasions!

 

[no-one in particular]

Thanks for posting an example of the combination of Sod's law and ineptitude, a phenomenon I am all to familiar with!

I really do curse myself sometimes when I break a float, drop several green quick change beads in the grass and miss out one or more eyes on the rod!!! I even threaded the line through one eye twice last week! I can drop a twig on my slatted wooden peg and it remains on the peg! Drop a piece of shot, a float,a snap link swivel one even a small rod rest and I can guarantee it will disappear into the water!

Far pegs away from the World are perfect for me on those occasions!

Your just an amateur in the ineptitude department Mike, as you gain more experience you will become more inept. Normal laws don't apply to fishing, we are all another planet bud.

 

[john step]

Glad you found your keys. Its a horrible feeling when they go AWOL.
I once sent a pair of walking boots away to be re soled. I couldn't find my car keys. Assuming they were lost I forked out a considerable sum at the main agent for a duplicate set only to receive a phone call a day or two later from the boot repairer " You sent a set of car keys inside your boots to be repaired"mg:

As to dropping things, I once upset my entire box of bits and pieces on the gravels at Collingham. Most disappeared for ever.

 

[103841]

It’s funny how you can have some trips without a single issue but also have trips where it all goes pear shaped. I also very often have a mad half hour where everything conspires against me, a wrap round, not a problem, yes it is, we now have a tangle, the tangle becomes a birds nest, start again and miss an eye, get everything ship shape and find your hook embedded in your landing net.

and breathe.............

 

[chrissh]

Over the last 2 weeks I have lost a catapult & disgorger … but found a set of good quality bank stick with the guru reaper feeder rest & rear rest which had been left in the swim

 

[Philip]

Reminds me of the time I dropped my car keys somewhere round my car on a muddy track in the pitch black as I was packing up. No phone to shine around but not to worry I have my head torch in my tackle bag says I ...oh dear, the batteries decide to die right there and then. No problem...being a well prepared fellow I am ready for such misfortune and put my DRP plan into effect...the tiny wind up battery-less torch in the glove compartment, always there for such occasions I smugly think....ah wait, whats that I see ...yes the wind up handle snaps off in my fingers as I turn it. Hmmm ok, move to plan C ...scramble round in the mud & dirt for 1 hour on all fours trying to feel for them with my hands.

Lovely.

 

[xenon]

Amateurs, the lot of you. I once managed to kick a trudex pin into the grand union at Tring. It's still there as far as I know....

 

[Another Dave]

Many years ago Angling Times had a free gift on the cover in the form of a luminous rod rest head, remember them? Of course, they only glowed for a short while, you needed to charge them with a torch. Well, a mate of mine didn't have a torch but he found that his cigarette lighter was enough to impart a few photons of radiance. You can probably guess why he didn't have a bite all night.

 

[Tee-Cee]

I read your post, markg and I empathise completely. However, personal pride (and the thought of having FM folk s******ing at my expense), prevents me from relating any form of incident, NOT that any have occurred you understand....

 

[thecrow]

Do these days only happen to anglers? I had a day the other week when if my hook wasn't in the water it was in anything and everything else, shoe, tree, chair, trousers, rucksack and any other inanimate object within 10 ft, all part of angling I am afraid

 

[no-one in particular]

I read your post, markg and I empathise completely. However, personal pride (and the thought of having FM folk s******ing at my expense), prevents me from relating any form of incident, NOT that any have occurred you understand....

Nah, don't bother me, a story is a story; I am dumb cluck and fishing is a dumb sport so we were made for each other and a million other dumb clucks, if I was the only dumb cluck that would be different. I just thought I would draw as many other dumb clucks out to make sure I was not the only dumb cluck and they are falling out of the trees, there should be a permanent dumb cluck thread and a Peter Crabtree dumb cluck award; could be a FM record breaker.
And if you don't think fishing is dumb consider any other sport and your good at it you get adulation, riches, medals and the girl, If your good at fishing your still a dumb cluck with dumb cluck all to show for it

 

[nicholaslukey]

Unlucky Sh+t happens to me all the time, I am at times so clumsy, I curse myself all the time. Like Mike some of the waters I fish have slatted stages, you can bet your bottom dollar if I drop something it will ended up falling through the slats. I've lost all sorts, thermos cup and no spare, an entire shot pack, several floats. I get into more float and lead tangles than you can shake a stick at. An easy sort out becomes a huge birdnest.

One particular incident several years ago, I lost a very nice carp, which got me so annoyed I threw my rod a Daiwa amorphous AKN12h (my most favourite rod ever) to the floor, lit up a smoke and made a cup of tea cursing my luck and ineptitude. After I had calmed down I went to get something from the bivvy, my usually average size 8 feet became clown sized, and I promptly trod on my rod tip and broke 10 inches off.

Most hilarious moment, playing a very angry mid double common, I thought I would undo the front drag a bit more so with a deft flick of the finger I started to unwind the drag, I did it that much that the bloody drag knob flew off into the lake, the spool jumped off and fell onto the floor and rolled off several feet away, it was like a scene from an Ealing comedy. Fortunately my brother who was fishing nearby came and helped me out of the sh+t.

 

[no-one in particular]

Its funny reading these posts, we all do it don't it, I think everything I have read I have done it sometime or other including most of Nicholaslukey's post above. We just were not born half as efficient, clever, dexterous, immune from bad luck as we think we were, any of us.

 

[108831]

Lol,yesterday I lost three good fish off the hook,each time the float shot up the tree to my right causing me each time to fit up my landing net pole with a weed cutter to free it(even though I had to re -tackle each time),on the last occasion I reached new levels of incompetence as I I'd cut the gear free I proceeded to re-catapult it even higher and deeper into the treemg:, Mr.Bean had nothing on me.

 

[nicholaslukey]

Lol,yesterday I lost three good fish off the hook,each time the float shot up the tree to my right causing me each time to fit up my landing net pole with a weed cutter to free it(even though I had to re -tackle each time),on the last occasion I reached new levels of incompetence as I I'd cut the gear free I proceeded to re-catapult it even higher and deeper into the treemg:, Mr.Bean had nothing on me.

I've definately got that T shirt

 

[Tee-Cee]

Yes, me too...Yesterday a swinger roach fell off and my shallow fishing rig managed to wind itself around the rod top. Upon inspection I found that not only was it around the top but it had also managed to tie any number of knots in the process. So tight were they that even my small scissors could not penetrate the ball of mono.
Okay, stuff happens, but why just after I had taken so much time in replacing the rig what with its countless No10 shot and the like!

Happily, this was a single occurrence and the remainder of the day (almost) passed without incident, that is until a pesky carp made off with my rig before departing. The only saving grace was that my precious float is still with me.

Little wonder I go through so much mono...........................

 

[Peter Jacobs]

One of the best threads I've read and enjoyed for a long, long time . . . . .


It does highlight the old adage though of; fail to prepare then prepare to fail . . . .


One of my old time fishing buddies used to come and stay at my place to fish the Hampshire Avon, and although an excellent and experienced angler, he could be a living disaster on the river banks.


He would often have very similar "accidents" to many of those noted above and I have lost count of the number of times I had to bail him out with spare kit, socks, clothing, umberella or waterproofs and even food and hot tea . . . .


He used to take the mickey out of me for my super clean, well-stocked and tidy tackle boxes but it never stopped him having to "borrow" scissors, disgorgers, pole rogs, hooks and all sorts . . . .


One of his best efforts was one day on a very quiet syndicate stretch looking at me and talking as he walked towards the river . . . . . without hesitation he walked straight into the oggin falling over in the process, and ending up soaked from head to foot . . .

 

[john step]

I AM SO GLAD THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER ANGLERS LIKE YOU LOT OUT THERE. MAKES ME FEEL NORMALmg:

 

[nottskev]

A couple of years ago a local club added a length of brook containing chub - believe or not, a species a bit hard to find around here - to its books.

The only problem - you had to park outside the farm and walk a mile down a track. The track ran straight as a die, and was perfectly surfaced, but the access for anglers was foot only. Way outside my normal limping range, especially in freezing January, but I was ready to challenge the boundaries.

I lightened the gear to a featherweight stool, a little rucksack with bits and bait, a 9ft rod and a net.

The main road parking was iffy. This way, and the back stuck out. That way, and the front looked vulnerable. Ten minutes faffing and I set off. The bridge at the brook was a speck in the distance. I walked as far as |I could before looking back. Now the car was a speck, and so was the bridge. I walked on, without seeming to get further from the car or nearer to the bridge.

I finally got there, recovered, checked out the fishable spots and concluded I was glad I'd faced the walk down. It did look promising.

I started to set up, and found the only item missing from the bag was a reel. From where I stood, I could just about detect the sun glinting on the car windscreen in the far distance.