When is help an insult?

[theartist]

I was out with dad yesterday and left him downstream, there dad hadn't noticed the barbel in his swim although to be fair he was low to the water, a guy came along keenly pointing the barbel out which was fine but then offered to cast dad's bait to them for him. Dad's response was quite a firm NO which I totally understand. The irony was the guy was telling me his account before dad did and I stopped him short with " That's my dad" to avoid any awkward moments.

Where do you draw the line when fishing and what examples have you had of unwarranted advice or assistance or alternatively do you take it all on board?

 

[tigger]

Maybe the chap was just trying to help, on the other hand he might have been one of the strange characters you sometimes bump into who just has too much to say.
Sounds like you both did the right thing really.
Imo help is never an insult if it's meant with good intensions even though it can feel as though someone is insulting your intelligence. You just need to tell the helper you know what your doing and try not to sound ungrateful.

 

[peterjg]

If you are fishing and someone tries to help you, you should do what I do - you don't let them irritate you, you remain calm, polite and civil - and then tell them to ****** off!

****** I've been censored!!!

 

[Mark Wintle]

I can remember fishing a very hard John Smiths qualifier at Evesham in the early 90s, fishing double maggot on a 23 to 0.06 when a 'helpful' chap told me that by fishing luncheon met under the far bank tree I'd catch lots of 7lb chub. After 3 minutes he was politely told to eff off and disturb someone else.

Conversely fishing a Barclays championship on Makins I was spending more time playing fish than fishing so my feeding rhythm was going all to pot and a regular on there mentioned this and helped me get back on track by stopping fishing for ten minutes and just feeding, and I went on to win easily.

 

[sam vimes]

If it's unsolicited help, it's often unwelcomed, though not necessarily an outright insult. The vast majority of folks trying to help do so with the best of intentions. If you don't want "help", look like you know what you are about, don't be too young, or old. Don't admit to not knowing the water or to struggling to catch. All seem to be open invitations to those that just love being helpful.

I hate seeing people struggle when fishing. I'm inclined towards being helpful when I can be. However, I recognise that many, for whatever reason, just don't want help. The frustrations for me come when people, that won't accept any help, fail dismally and go on to badmouth venues. Those that see you catching, ask for help, then ignore everything you tell/show them is pretty annoying too, especially if you've gone to any time or trouble.

 

[tomino2112]

I think help is never an insult if its offered in a good manner. Something like "Would you like me to help you casting over there?" would be much more appreciated than "Man you are useless let me cast it for you".

If it would happen to me, I would probably tell him no thank you, but would tell him to watch me trying the cast and possibly tell me what I did wrong

 

[mikench]

I always offer and in turn accept help and in the latter instance I most definately need it! I only offer in general terms rather than telling someone what bait to use and how to do it! I might however after my sixth specimen fish in fifteen minutes!!

 

[daniel121]

It sound like the guy was a little socially inept, or maybe a little eccentric? At the end of the day it’s a massive mixing pot is society. I’m a little bit like a sponge I’m happy to listen to anything and everything, in particular about fishing. The man that tells you he knows everything about fishing is a donut, pure and simple, even if those elite that have won several world championships don’t know everything about fishing!

So id of said “nah I’m alright” if I thought it was waffle I’d of listened to it and depending on my mood would of either egged him on to get more for my own amusement just stopped replying giving one word answers. If I thought it was good advice id store it for me to ponder over my cupper or pint later.

When Is help an insult , to insult me - I’m going to struggle to get offended by someone telling me I’m fishing a swim wrong but maybe if they don’t take the hint and I have to say “look mate, I think ya talking ****, so lets just leave it here eh, ill fish my way you fish yours?” not often I have to say that to anyone on the bank.

 

[bullet]

Passer by pointing out the Barbel, ok.

Reply from angler.... Thank you, or Thank you, I've noticed them myself.

Offering to cast for you unsolicited... F**k Off!

 

[john step]

There has been the reverse position on this forum. I recall a beginner recently saying they couldn't catch anything and what could he do? Polite advice was given. It was pretty obvious that the tackle was all wrong and completely unbalanced as one major reason. The advice was rubbished quite rudely. No more advice.

 

[Philip]

I had quite a recent situation on these lines. I went to large pit for the first time after a Tench. I was doing a lap of the lake looking for spot to fish when a guy came over and started to chat to me. He was very pleasant and good natured and told me how he fished the lake for over 30 years and so on. Anyway when he heard I was fishing for Tench he basically said oh in the that case I would fish here and he pointed to a spot …I didn’t like it but he kept on & on about it. Its true there were some bubbles that did look Tenchy but it would not have been my choice. However the fact was he insisted so much (in a good natured way) that I felt almost obliged to fish there against my better judgement just to keep him happy. Of course I blanked.

Next time I think I’ll just be more direct about it and say thanks but I prefer to have a look somewhere else.

 

[sagalout]

I carry a some pictures of Mrs Lout and hand them out as a thank you to anyone who offers advice. No one ever speaks to me twice.

 

[markcw]

If I am bailiffing and members ask me where is fishing for a future visit I will tell them and what part of the pool to go on,
Or if they are struggling to catch on a particular water, I will mention that a different bait was working well the previous week, but persevere with what they have and the fish will start to come on. I think members expect the bailiffs to know the ins and outs of every water and be there to offer advice if not catching,so in a way offering help is not an insult in these cases, Again if anyone is going to a commercial for the first time and I have fished it, I will offer advice on bait, tackle and method if asked. I have made phone calls to people I know who have fished venues that I have not, to find out information on the place, At the end of the day we go out to try and catch some fish, If someone offers advice sometimes it pays to listen.

 

[davebhoy]

I’m always open to advice on baits and location, I’m probably a bit forward in asking sometimes, but that’s only because I share just about everything I know (not always very much) with anyone who’s interested. I’ve had someone tell me to stop asking as people had put in a lot of hours locating the tench in a club gravel pit to work out where they were, but he was the bailif, so I didn’t feel bad grilling him, and I’d fished plenty without catching.

The best advice I’ve had has been from the two best anglers I’ve met. Keith Speer told me more in half an hour than I’d learned in about 5 years previously. Another very good angler with a national record and a lot of very big fish to his name stopped for ages and told me all about lots of the different club’s waters. He even told me the exact swim where he’d been so successful on the water I was fishing in at the time

 

[Peter Jacobs]

The clue (or dead give-away) for me is if said person stopsand doesn’t crouch down while he talks . . . thereby sky-lining . . . so I will ask them to sit or crouch orjog on . . .

As the Meerkat says . . . Simples

 

[108831]

I think help is never an insult if its offered in a good manner. Something like "Would you like me to help you casting over there?" would be much more appreciated than "Man you are useless let me cast it for you".

If it would happen to me, I would probably tell him no thank you, but would tell him to watch me trying the cast and possibly tell me what I did wrong

If someone came along and said have you seen those barbel,that's ok,as long as he doesn't jump up and down pointing,as for offering to cast,that's obscene,the guy wants to fish for you,come back tomorrow and fish for yourself,if 'dad' was to ask some for advice,or mention that he's struggling casting to the spot,an offer could be made,offering advice is fine when your discussing tactics.

 

[Jim Crosskey 2]

I think advice offered in the midst of a friendly chat on the bank can be excellent... but I think it's important that you frame it the right way. Offering to cast for someone, or to change their rig - when that help is un-asked for - is taking things too far for me.

However, sometimes I've had some good tips offered on locations or baiting... and I've offered some opinions myself, when they've been asked for... I think that's the important bit. Plenty of people might just want the peace and quiet of sitting next to the water, and the fact that their approach might not be the most efficient for putting fish on the bank might be the intention!