Pilgrim’s Progress

[GrahamM]

Right lads, he's had a go at us, so here's a thread where you can get your own back. Anything you want to say about him here's the place to do it. If he tries to come back with any smart replies I'll delete them. I'll start the ball rolling with:

'No wonder he catches the occasional fish, he only works one day a week, he's got his Gaffer working miracles for him, and his missus rolls his bait.'

 

[DAVE COOPER]

I could take up several pages with this. Where do I start?

Larford? Slags me for sleeping in the car when he's in a bivvy and I'm under an ordinary umbrella and an African style monsoon is going on. Then fails to mention my 20 tench, 7 carp and 2lb7oz perch - just his one carp cos it was (he says and you know how he fibs) 10lb plus.

Then there's Boris. I catch barbel every time on the Teme, he blanks. So he invents this Boris story to deflect the flack.

Then, just when you have swim going along nicely, SPLASH, Sedge tries to see if the good lord has granted him floating feet yet. Maybe he has, but the rest of him still sinks and ruins your swim.

I'll stop now and let Brummie Williams take over for a bit.

 

[Paul Williams]

I have already contacted my solicitor just in case i am mentioned in part2 !!! i'll sue im for everthing he's got !! those dog collars will make nice big glow in the dark bobbin indicators. Another idea of mine is to hire a coach and all of us visit one of his sermons...armed with a big bag of rotten fruit and eggs......mind you he'd twist that and say we showered him with gifts to show our affection!!!

 

[Carp Angler]

The red trousers.

 

[Paul Williams]

Oh yeah, i forgot his bright red fishing trousers, Hahahahahahahahahaha, Graham this is the best thread yet, keep im out!!!

 

[Stewart Bloor]

Graham, is swearing still banned? What about physical violence?
As this is the season of goodwill, I'm prepared to let this all pass by.
By the way, bet you wouldn't laugh at Jan Porter in his red trousers...OK, so I was wearing my santa outfit at the time...

 

[Paul Williams]

GRAHAM !!!!! I feel so let down!! you let im in!! he must have had some dark secret of yours to black mail you with! or he bribed you with ale!!

 

[Stewart Bloor]

Brummie, it was quite easy. I threatened him with the WLF - The Wallet Liberation Front. That soon saw him off....

 

[Carp Angler]

The best way to deal with Sedge is to wait until he is inside his Brotel and can't see you, then sneak up to his rod and start to pull line quickly off the baitrunner.
Stumble, trip, stagger......hee hee hee

 

[Stewart Bloor]

Thanks for reminding me Rik, I forgot all about that...revenge is mine saith Sedge...

 

[Stewart Bloor]

For those of you who don't know him, Brummie Williams has, shall we say, a strong accent. In fact last year when he went on his holidays to France, he needed an interpretor. What's unusual with that you might ask? Well, this was just at the M1 services on the way to the ferry.....

 

[Stewart Bloor]

I'm not saying Cooperman is not very well travelled....but....the first time he went fishing on the River Severn near Worcester, he rang me up...'Boyo' (he's from Cardiff) 'does I need me passport?'...'What to come to England?' I enquired...'No' he replies 'to get my bait from Swansea'...

 

[DAVE COOPER]

That's It! Now you have gone TOO FAR! I can stand your jealousy, your selective memory and your clumsiness - but calling me WELSH! That is just too much.

If you ever caught any fish I would get my witch-in-law to put a hoodoo on your fishing. But be warned, you best keep looking over your shoulder, cos Coops is gonna get yah!

 

[Paul Williams]

Hey Coops, I,ve ordered a "Sedge" dolly off a guy in Handsworth, you know the sort you stick pins in, only i have a little battery operated drill...........where would you like me to start????

 

[GrahamM]

I've got some nice treble hooks with big barbs somewhere. I'll dig them out and you can use those instead of pins.

Start at the bottom and work your way up....think about it.......

 

[Paul Williams]

Yes Graham i think i get the picture....has a nice sort of "ring" to it doe's that!!!

 

[Stewart Bloor]

That's gratitude for you...there's Brummie after a dog collar, so this afternoon I took him one round. He went out in it tonight, only problem is he kept tripping over. I forgot to tell him, you have to take the lead off first...Still, his mates down the pub now call him Rover..
...Sit...stay...fetch...

 

[Stewart Bloor]

As a gesture of goodwill I've decided to organise the FM Christmas pantomime...Carp Angler is the ugly sister..amazing how he really fits the part and doesn't need any make up either...Cooperman and Brummie Williams are the horse, with Brummie being the back end...I always said he had a face like the back end of a horse...Greyhound Marsden is the Dame...he likes dressing up in women's clothes..oh yes he does...oh no he doesn't...oh yes he does...
Their first performance is a sell out...mind, it's being put on in Cooperman's gargae...