My car did get a wash this morning - it rained. The only thing I have dirtier than my car is my girlfriend. People avoid crashes with me just because they don't want to get their's mucky.
Unfortunately, if I look at the driveways around me, there are Mercs each side, and across is a Merc, then a Cayenne, a 911 and some idiotic big red thing, all of which cause the road to be awash with soapy water every time the sun comes out, straight down the surface drains and into my little secret river.
Doesn't help that I sneak out in the early hours with some wheat to attract the wood pigeons onto their bonnets....
As I observed in a thread about "big", bad, fish-eating furry jobs the other evening, we need to be looking closer to home:
"We should, perhaps, start by taking a very long, hard, assessing look at the most topping of top-end predators around - at ourselves, people who today want it ALL for nothing or for mere no-cost pence and to be there 'like yesterday', because the telly and some very iffy papers tell us that we're 'worth it' - faster-wider-safer roads, bigger-faster-sexier-bird-pulling cars, wifey-pleasing homes (one is not enough, are three?), pools, power showers, multiple domestic and foreign holidays - unsustainable in the numbers we are now and far greater tomorrow - not merely want but expect as some sort of human right...
Occupants of ever-bigger, better-plumbed glasshouses set in a de-natured, concreted-over suburban hinterland feeling in their unpoken desperation the need to chuck stones at anything but themselves...
Meanwhile, the few wild or semi-wild bits and creatures that we haven't boogered up in our blinkered, I'm not to blame, greed try to carry on as they've always done and get shafted for doing so.
Ho hum. "