Fishy jokes anyone got any to add

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.
Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."
A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted", and
lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.
He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal.
"Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture,he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted,
"It's me, Justin,your old friend, come out and see me again."
Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."
Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've
changed."................
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Keep scrolling
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
"I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian".

ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I don't believe in Fairy Codmothers.

More like an Anglingcan.

Just when you thought the barbel society thread was bad news.......

A crab was going out with a lobster and it got very serious, enough for him to popose marriage to her. She said whe would love, but doubted that her father would agree to it because crab could only walk sideways and that to a lobster was unnatural. He begged her to give him a little time and that next week he would meet her father and ask for her claw in marriage.

That week he spent trying to walk forwards and backwards instead of sideways, but struggled. After the week had gone by he went out to the pub and had quite a few whiskeys for Dutch courage. Weh he met her she said "Oh how wonderful you can walk backwards and forwards at last."

To which he replied "Shut up you fool, I'm pissed."

A lifelong fishing batchelor decided to get married because he met a girl who had worms!

A crab and a prawn on a beach...
A mussel walks up to them and gives them a cream cake to share....

Crab.." well, prawny, i like to go for a swim for a while before i have a cream cake, you watch it, and when i get back we will share it!"
Prawn..."ok mate...."
so the crab goes off for a swim, and returns to find the prawn guarding the cake!
Crab..." thats much better, i'm gonna really enjoy my half of the cake!"
Prawn..." ok... i'm going for a swim too!"
so off the prawn goes.
While he's away the crab tucks into his half of the cake, but his greed gets the better of him... so when the prawn returns and asks...
"wheres my half of the cake!"...
Crab..."sorry mate i ate it!"








Prawn... "YOU SHELLFISH BASTARD!"

Two kids fighting in the playground and the teacher breaks them up, "What's this all about?" he asks.

"Well sir, don't crabs walk sideways?" says one kid.

"Of course they do." says the teacher.

"There y'are." says the kid to the other kid, "I told you, you had lobsters."

A lawyer and an engineer <or some other honest profession member > were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I am here because my house burned down and everything I owned was burned. The insurance company paid for everything."

"That is quite a coincidence," said the engineer, "I am here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything."

The lawyer looked somewhat confused and asked, "how do you start a flood?"

Here it is, it's took 6 months of searching
but i finally found it.

Check this out

what do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.

Long John Elver

Question:
Which is the odd one out? A lobster,a crab,a shrimp,a shark or 3 Pakistanis under a car?



Answer:
The shark, the rest are all crustaceans (crushed asians)

god says to adam wheres eve adam says she is in the sea swimming.
gods replies damn
adam says whats up
god replies i will never get the smell of them fish now

A certain fisherman used to go out fishing regularly on the Murray
> River (Australia's longest river) just up from Mannum in South
> Australia. He was a good fisherman and without fail came home from a
> days fishing with a boat-load of fish. The local fishing inspector
> became aware of this fact after a
> while and
> soon became suspicious of the fisherman. Surely no-one could possibly
> catch that many fish that consistently without breaking the law. Thus it
> was that the inspector challenged the fisherman one day as he returned
> with his usual large catch and demanded that he be allowed to go out
> with the fisherman on his next trip so that he could "keep an eye on
> him".
>
> "Sure, no problem", said the fisherman. "Be here at 7 o'clock
> Wednesday morning. That's when I'm going out next."
>
> Next Wednesday morning at 7:00am sharp the fisherman turned up
> and, sure enough, there was the fishing inspector waiting for him. They
> got into the little aluminium dinghy, started the outboard motor and
> headed off upstream.
>
> After a while they came to a break in the willow trees which grow
> along the banks of the Murray in those regions and the fisherman steered
> the boat through the trees. Much to the fishing inspector's surprise,
> the narrow channel opened out into a sizeable lagoon which had been
> formed over the years by the eddying action of the water as it flowed
> into the channel from the river.
> It was
> very deep and also very secluded. In fact, being completely surrounded
> by willow trees virtually no-one even new it existed - including the
> inspector.
>
> It was what happened next which really flabbergasted the inspector,
>
> however.
> The fisherman killed the motor and allowed the boat to drift in the
> centre of the lagoon. He then reached into his tackle box, removed a
> stick of gelignite, took a deep draw on his cigarette and lit the fuse
> with the cigarette. He then watched the fuse burn almost all the way
> down and at the last moment threw the explosive overboard. There was a
> muffled "BOOM!", followed shortly by water boiling and bubbling to the
> surface of the lagoon and, not long after, hordes of dead fish floating
> to the surface. The fisherman then proceeded to scoop the fish into the
> boat with his net.
>
> The fishing inspector had watched all on this in absolute
> amazement. When he recovered sufficiently from his shock and surprise to
> be able to speak he began to rip into the fisherman, telling him about
> all the laws he had broken, how many books he was going to throw at him,
> how many years he was going to spend in jail, how he was going to have
> his boat, car, fishing equipment etc confiscated and so on for about
> five minutes without a break.
>
> After this time and with the inspector not showing any signs of
> calming down, the fisherman began to get slightly annoyed. He reached
> into his tackle bow and removed another stick of gelignite. Once again
> he lit the fuse from his cigarette and watched the fuse burn down to
> about half-way, however this time he didn't throw it in the water.
> Instead he handed it to the fishing inspector and said "Right. Are you
> going to talk, or are you going to fish?!"
>

Him. Fancy coming to the pictures tonight darling?
Her. What's on my love?
Him. Moby **** precious heart.
Her. Ooooh no! A sex film could never replace you sweet lover.
Him. It's not a sex film you silly billy, it's about whales.
Her. Well, I'll go if you insist my stallion but you know I can't stand ....
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
.... those Welsh bastards.

How many Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?













A Fish.