Dear Mr. Roberts

Dear Bob,

Having read through much of the ballyhoo you raised recently about keeping barbel in keepnets, which in principal I would agree with, I was rather hoping that your standards would extend to all species.

I'm hinting at the emphasis you placed on staking the net out correctly so as to submerge most of the net and have it as straight and erect as possible in the water.

All this lead me to thinking, now there's a diamond geezer, but alas, my admiration for you has just taken a nasty blow. I would point you to the picture in Coarse Fisherman on page 42 and a net so badly staked that even a minnow would have difficulty finding enough room in there.

Perhaps there were no fish in the net, but nevertheless, it should be properly staked out in readyness to receive them. Idols like yourself have to be mindful all the time not to give your followers the wrong message. Not to mention what others, your critics, would think if they witnessed such a sight.

I hope we shall see no more of this dear Bob. Rest assured it will go no further, my lips are sealed on the matter and you still have my almost fullest confidence.

I remain, Sir, your true admirer,
Woody.

PS Nice article too. Is Tony Rocca holding two fingers up to suggest that he too has a badly staked out keep net?

ooooh!

In Bob's defence, there was nowt in it at the time!

It says "Strictly Private and Confidential"

You shouldn't be reading it.

"Perhaps there were no fish in the net, but nevertheless.......," Still no excuse, but at least he had an unhooking Matt with him. )

Bob WHO ????

Bobby bad-net strikes again....

So Matt,did he land that fish?
Did he then put it in the net?
And, did he then sling his net out into deeper water?

Oh! dear Woody, what have you started? The BR knockers will be out in force on this one I don't doubt.

He did land that fish and he didn't put it in the net as it was a Carp.

Although the net could have been slightly tighter it couldn't have gone out any further. What looks like shallow water in the picture is actually shallow water over very deep mud. Not the sort you'd get out of easily.

"he didn't put it in the net as it was a Carp"

Just throw it up the bank then...no point ruining a good keepnet with those nasty ratfish fins.....

"Oh! dear Woody, what have you started? The BR knockers will be out in force on this one I don't doubt."

I can't help the man any more. were it me, I'd have staked the net out very well before even allowing anyone with a camera near.

"What looks like shallow water in the picture is actually shallow water over very deep mud."
Excuses Matt. If the swim is unsuitable for a keepnet then it shouldn't be deployed. (hey that's a good word - deployed)

"Shooting one's self in foot" comes to mind as does "He that lives by the sword...."

Sorry Bob, really.

We all know that Roach, the target species on the day, can be carefully dropped into 6" of water and will swim into the deeper end.

or straight into the livebait bucket Matt ;o)

People who live in glass houses.....
Cough, hhrrmmmm!!!

Stop getting all defensive Matt. Bobs only human, sort of, and can make a mistake now and then.
Can he not speak for himself? Naw, wont do that, doesnt like the critiwhatsit thingy.

Maybe he's busy writing the constitution of the The Burbot Fellowship?

You can tell it’s the pantomime season, can’t you?

“Ooooh, yes he did!”

“Ooooh, no he didn’t!”

Get a life, Woody, who do you think you are, the pantomime dame? If so, here’s a challenge for you:

You say, “I'd have staked the net out very well before even allowing anyone with a camera near”

Okay, here’s the deal, I will personally invite you to come and join me at the very swim where I was fishing for roach and, for the purposes of entertaining those who enjoy slapstick, I will take sequential photos of you positioning a keepnet in water deep enough to cover all but the top ring which is roughly where the visible end of my keepnet is in the picture (for the record here the actual end of the net is some way beyond and fully submerged).

Oh, and you should wear Wellingtons, like I did, but if you think that a tad unfair I’ll concede you may wear thigh waders.

Simple rules - there will only be you and I on the bank. You will perform your challenge unaided and you will return to the bank, in your own time, without assistance from me to commence fishing. You will repeat this performance with each fish caught (I'm assuming you can fish and aren't just one of the keyboard anglers) because I’m sure you would not condone throwing fish into a net from 2 metres away.

Do you think you can perform this simple challenge? Surely it cannot be difficult for one so experienced in stirring muddy waters?

And let’s make it interesting. Should you succeed I will pay 50 pounds to the charity of your choice.

Should you fail, then you will pay 50 pounds to mine. But be aware though, should you fail through getting stuck, or heaven forbid drowning, I will abandon you where you are, be that waist deep in silt or deeper, who knows, but I’m sure you’ll be okay. No doubt you’ll apply that acute intellect of yours to find a way out of the mire. Perhaps using your mouth as a mud shovel might work…

Can we confirm a date on this please?

Matt, you truly are Prince Charming but don’t let the wicked witch draw you into a nothing debate. You mean well every time but they’re simply out to tarnish your tinsel. Ignore them mate.

As for the ugly sisters, what on earth would they do with their lives without me to obsess on?

So, from **** Whittington’s cat, have a good Christmas one and all. I’ll be off-line until the New Year when I’m sure normal service will be resumed.

Meanwhile, while the cat’s away…

Oh, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, don't be a party pooper. It is, as you say, the season of joy and merriment. So in the words of the immortal Scouser, "Calm down, calm down."

As I said though "If the swim is unsuitable for a keepnet then it shouldn't be deployed.", to answer your serious point.

Personally, I do blame Matt as he should have known better before taking the happy snap. These young ones should be looking after us older sorts, especially when our brains get frazzled and we forget what we are doing. Friends eh, can you trust them?

Have a nice pleasant Christmas though and may the good Santa bring you the Valium you ordered.

Is anyone else bored with it being open season on Bob Roberts or is it just me..?

I disagreed with something he said a couple of seasons back, we had the usual flame war with everyone chipping in for good measure.

Yawn.

After a night's fishing with Bob and some of his mates a month or two back, I really wished we'd just done that in the first place.

I doubt I'd have been able to deal with a fraction of what he's been through.

Yet there he is, out fishing with his mates and enjoying the crack.

Look at the people he knocks about with.
Not ****heads by any stretch of the imagination.

Can't you just deal direct with the bloke if you have a problem, or just let it go..?

Better still go and have a bash somewhere with him.

I get seriously bored when it starts getting personal nowadays, I just can't see the point.

When I read posts from people slagging him off, I think thank *genital swear word* my fishing's not about that.

Let's grow up.

Ah,but Chris he didn't affect your fishery,he did ours, and still attempts to even now.
He doesn't accept any direct attempts to put him right.So,he asks for what he gets.
I'm not usually vindictive,but from my point of view, he deserves all he gets.

When he gets he's facts right and admits his errors,maybe he will regain some respect.