ramblers and dog walkers

q:what are you fishing for?
Aike.
Q.are there any in here then?
answer:yes.
(but thinks to myself:no,that`s why i`m fishing here you stupid muppet.)
q.do you eat them?
a:no,we put them back alive so as to keep the balance of nature in the water.
q:don`t they eat all the other fish then?
a:well they`ve been living in our waters for millions of years,and haven`t managed it yet.
has anyone else had the "pleasure" of a bankside muppet question time?

yes, and some days you get them cueing up one after another, i know they dont mean no harm but when they are coming at you thick and fast it does tend to do your head in.

Try not to make eye contact as they are then less likely to talk to you.

I think the reason you get all the stupid questins is that the askers are not realy interested at all, they just want to have a chat and so ask the first shit that comes into there head.

Quite a few times Ive had all the "whats in here,any big uns,do you eat them crap" and then heard them ask the chap on the next peg exactly the same.

They dont bother me though, just as long as they keep the effing dogs on a lead and away from my tackle and bait!

Some time ago I was fishing for roach on a local canal. I was using my pole and had caught a couple which I had released.

Then up came a fairly young couple who stood behind me and watched for a while. My float sank and I was into a nice roach of a pound or so. I netted it, unhooked it and showed it to the couple in my net. The young woman told me she had never seen anything so pretty!

I gently released the roach out of the landing net and it swam away.

The young man then said that now he really knew why people go fishing.

So I told him to go and buy some gear and try it himself. His girlfriend did not seem to be amused.

After asking me what it cost to get started, they walked away and the last words I could make out was that he fancied taking up the sport. An argument ensued.

What had I done?

Probably made a new angler and split up a relationship.

I suppose your right beecy I'm pretty talkative myself and sometimes quite like a chat, but other times when you just want to sit quiet and fish it can be a bit annoying.

i know what you mean about the dogs though, I went night fishing last week and took my new carp rod and bite alarm, I hadn't been set up long when someone came around with a couple of energetic black labradors, one of the dogs headed straight for me stuck is head in my bait box and ate my bread which was wrapped in selophane, jumped all over my gear, knocked my rods of the rod rest, now i love dogs and appreciate that this sort of behaviour is in their nature, but what really got my back up was the fact that the owner made no attempt to call him back and let him do what he wanted, I had my headlamp on and shone straight at the owner about four times thinking that he would do something but he didn't.

Another time I pedalled about 6 miles to a section of the river taff to try out my brand new quiver tip rod when someone turned up with 6 very large dogs (dalmations, and pointers) I was setting my line up and was holding the hook in my hand when one of the dogs came pelting towards me, i tried to keep the rod down low but he managed to get the line wrapped around him, now not wanting to let go of the hook and get the dog impailed i decided to hold on, the hook then stuck in my finger as i got dragged up the banking hook stuck in one hand rod in the other untill the line broke.
Now whilst all this was happening the dog owner made no attempt to help, call his dog, absolutley nothing, definately no apology.
I set back up and cast into the river, I then went to reel back in and realised i was snagged, i gave a short tug and my rod snapped in half, I presumbed it was weakened by the dog, as you can imagine i was livid.

being a dog owner myself I know I could never take my dogs with me when I'm fishing because the pair of them would be into everything, plus the little bedlington thinks its a rottweiler and wants to fight with anything and everything. I go fishing on the leeds canal a lot for pike, it costs ?2 to fish the bit where I go. If your paying to fish it surly the guys who owns it should do something to clean the dog crap up that litters the tow path, they are pretty quick to come round for their money but totaly ingore the fact that your trying to wipe crap off your boots or hands because you have laid your gear down in it.

rather than pick it up himself,the owner should get the dog owners to clear up their dog mess,or ban all dogs from the towpath.

i was piking with a mate a few years ago on the local canal.a woman with a spaniel threw a stick into the swim that i was fishing.the result was a dog entangled with 15lbs line and broken floats.
i didn`t bollock her much!!!!!!!!!
same woman,a few months later,allowed her dog to swim after ducklings no more than a few days old,mother duck was stressed,as were the ducklings.so was the woman when my mates girlfriend threaten to give her a slap if she walked that stretch of canal again.
i`ve met some irresponsible dog owners in my time,but this woman is world champion at f***wittism!!!!

on the stretch that I fish on my river, there are a fair few dog walkers, and I fish down there enough to know most of them by site, enough to exchange basic plesantries as they walk past, but there is one dog.. "Stanley".. Ill be damned if Ive not thought about throwing that dog in the river once or twice.. one time last season I was lure fishing, admittedly I had My lures on the floor next to me, the box was open as I was chopping and changing often.. then out of no where comes Stanley, I see him at the last minute and dive for my box but before I get there, he's in there trying to eat one of my lures, getting the trebles stuck in his lip.. understandably the dog went nuts n wouldnt hold still so we could get them out.. His owner got a hook in her finger as I tried to hold the dog.. we finally got it out and she went on her way..
This wasnt the first time he had tried to get in my stuff, but I thought after that, she might think about putting him on a lead, but sure enough, next week comes n hes in my stuff again..

on the subject of stupid questions.. I think everyone gets them, the ones that grate my cheese though are when youve been trying your hardest to stay low n trot for a shoal of chub, being as quiet as possible.. along come walkers, stand right at your shoulder, where your trying to cast from, and yell, "Have you caught anything ?", "yes, but Im not likely to now youve spooked them all", Ive replied more than once.. all they do is laugh and say well good luck..

Beat this one lads!!,i was dead-baiting for pike on my local fen drains when i was approached by a woman and bloke with 3 dogs,they asked if i minded if their dogs could swim in the drain i was fishing.I thought at first well at least they`re polite!.I said i didn`t mind as long as it was way way way further up the bank!!.They were obviously not from the area as i know everyone!!.They said they`d just moved from Hackney!!.Anyway to cut a long storey,they moved a good distance away from me and i good see the dogs swimming in the distance.After about 15mins i noticed the dogs were getting closer and the bloke was walking along the bank towards me waving his hands making the dogs move in my direction.I thought what the f**k is that bloke up to?.Before they reached me i walked over to the bloke asked him to get his dogs out the water and what the hell was he doing.HIS ANSWER?= "Well mate,as you probably know we dont come from the country and we thought we`d make a good impression by helping you???.."how the hell was that helping me"? i replied."Well he said,we`ve watched programmes on country sports and how the beaters flush the pheasants towards the guns,so we thought you`d appreciate if we tried to flush the fish towards you"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was mortified,i really thought this bloke was trying to piss me off,but he and his wife were 100% genuine,i couldn`t believe it!!.Being a shooter myself,i spent the next hour and a half trying to explain to this couple country life and ways!!. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE THAT OUT THERE!!!!!!!!

It wasn't dogs this time but people.

I was fishing a small pool just big enough for one person, i had pre baited it every day for the previous week and was having excellent sport, when some dippy father came along with his four dippy children.
they saw me land a tench and the father said that looks a good spot lets fish it.

They had large chubber floats tied to the end of the line with the hook tied halfway up the mainline.

Next thing you know there were floats flying at me like missles, over my head some landing in the water, they were tugging at the bushes, the father pissing himself laughing, they really looked like the whole family were a penny short of the pound.

I just couldn't beleive that anyone could think that this was acceptable behaviour, i did then inform him that there were plenty of spare swims further along.

I was fishing the River Wharfe at Boston Spa, right at the side of the road bridge, stood mid river trotting. A family of a mother and father with 3 kids and a picnic turned up, the woman and the kids stripped off and in they came to join me.
Fortunatley the fish did not seem to mind and their sandwiches wer'nt bad either, also the wife had a fine pair of water wings.....

Trolling up a river a couple of weeks back and we blundered into a shoot, BAM BAM BAM it was like Saving Private Ryan going on over the floodbank.

Stop the boat and this bloke appears on top of the bank with a load of gun dogs scurrying about.

Go in, go get, he's shouting, next minute there are a couple of labradors in the water behind us.

Then one's swimming towards one of my floats with a big trolled herring.

Uh Oh, reel it in and the herring I've been trolling comes along the top, just missing pedigree gun dog.

"Phoarr fwah haah, see you've caught one," shouts out, err, posh chap.

lol i have hundreds of passers by i'll tell you two of them the first is below.

q: what you fishing for then?
a: Pike
q: had anything yet?
a: errrr a nine pounder about 10 mins ago
q: I do a bit of pike fishing you no
a: good
q: what si your pb mine is 26 pound
a: mine is 15 pound
q: do you eat the pike you catch?
a: no! do you?
a: yere it tastes lovely with a bit of white wine.
a: You do know that is illegal!
a: so what? you never guess what i had a 10 poundrer once and thought i take it home. So i thought i would try and kill it so put it up a tree and started punching it. I thought it was dead and i got home was about to put it in the oven and it swam away!

at the point i was silent and just thinking what am idiot.

next is

q: you caught anything yet?
a: no
q: do you not hink fishing is wrong you no hurts the fish
a: no because fish have no nerves in there mouth.
q: how do you no that
a: its a scientific fact
a: but scientists don't no everything do they
a: well put it this way they no more than you!


she then slowly walked away

"Phoarr fwah haah, see you've caught one," shouts out, err, posh chap.

Money and brains don't seem to go too well together down your neck of the woods then Chris?? What was he shooting? Labradors? ;-)

Ahem,i would like to point out that not all shooters are toffs!!! ;-}

Many years ago and after driving 30 miles on a cold frosty morning, i arrived at a lea valley gravel pit to fish for pike. Sitting down i take my deadbaits out and put them on the bank beside me. Fitting up my tackle i suddenly fill warm air around my ear, looking round theres the biggest Irish wolf hound staring at my deadbaits. Slowly i move a hand towards my bait, the hound shows me his teeth, i freeze. Picking up my half dozen sardines the bloody dog swallows them in one go. With no more bait i packup my half made up tackle, and drive the 30 miles back home.

Something similar once happened to me, but it was a fellow angler's dog who munched 'em.

An hour or two later, he threw the lot back up all over mate and his gear.

a dog running loose on the bank,nicked the bacon butty that i`d just cooked.
when i saw the dog and its` owner returning,i quickly half cooked some bacon,stuck it between two slices of bread and gave it a good dose of monster crab and pilchard oil.
sure enough,said spaniel ran up and scoffed the lot.i still wonder what mateys car smelt like as he was driving home,with that spaniel panting its monster crab breath inside.

The people I find most annoying are the ones who have an overwhelming desire to hold an in depth discussion on piking by yelling from the other bank.Had one he other week fishing a small shallow clear drain.All day I had been creping around and had just had first doulbe of the day which matey sees low and behold 10 minute conversation ensues.Wouldnt have minded as much if he had waited till he came past me on the side I was fishing.People just dont seem to understand that the universal 3 answers or one word answers mean I dont want to talk to them.The universal four are 4 phrases to answer about what you have cught.
1-Not had anything mate been here all day.(this is used if you havent been seen catching by this individual)
2-Just a couple of small ones(useful if they have seen you catch from a distance)
3-A few nothing massive(translated could means I have caught some good fish)
4-Never fished here before(always always always my answer to,any pike in here mate?my mate he fishes for pike and he says,........)