Accident prone

Have you noticed there's always someone accident prone with you when you are quietly fishing waiting for a take.

There was a nice bloke in a swim opposite,in the pitch black tripped over a stump every time he stepped out his bivvy.

What a character.

Anyone else had this happen to them.

A mate of mine got a bollie baiting needle stuckin his thumb, the ones with a hook on the end. Ended up 3 hours in hospital with him.
Another trip had him loosing his rod after a carp had took off with his bait.

We have probably all had a hook in a finger in the past.
My brothers son stepped into his line,while baiting his size 2 barbed hook and carried on walking.

Dug it out with a penknife.

I was moistening the knot on a size 20 hook one day. I started to pull it tight while it was still in my mouth, and hooked myself in the tongue.

Was barbel fishing the Severn at Highley,when i got snagged.

Tugging in all directions and not getting it free,i started to walk back,rod straight.

Line started singing,then the big round lead came free and hit me right in the bonce.

i have to admit my dark secret now ,i'am the original clumsy clott,fumbling fool,mr butter fingers,i don't normally mention it as its become second nature i don't think i've ever gone fishing (or done anything for that matter) without some sort of mishap,if i'am not getting hooked up in the foliage around me then i'am fencing with branches of tree's and i don't feel right unless i have at least one squelchy wet foot and have finger tips like teabags with all the little pin pricks from where the hook has self tested its knot hold in my skin,i've been known to spend more time unpicking wind knots and tangles than fishing i must own an Olympic gold medal for the worlds shortest casts for the amount of times the bail arm as sprung shut or forgotten to have opened it only to have feeders/floats and even method feeders fall loudly to my feet and i get a face full of ground bait as a feeder empties on a stunted cast,and if i ain't catching the local shrubbery i'am hooking my self in the legs /feet,hands i've pierced my ears on more than one occasion plus other more intimate parts and my bad luck and ineptitude knows now bounds and it stalks me no matter what type of fishing i'am doing i could be casting a fly 20'25m one minuet the next i'am trust up like a joint of beef but i can't moan as i've been rather lucky over the years as i have managed not to loose any eyes or other appendages ,broken any bones or my neck i've been lucky with the cuts as not to open any arteries even with many a impromptu surgeries to remove hooks from fingers,feet and bums (don't ask!) and i thank the gods for having the tetanus jabs invented just to save me from septicaemia and other assorted blood poisonings.

chavender i think its true that some people have more bad luck than others.
Although we don't get a lot of fishing done sometimes as we are untangling or unhooking,ourselvs or someone next to us,theres never a dull moment.
Even the ones who think they are experts make mistakes.
At horseshoe lake opposite the green,last year i was being shown by an expert how to cast a spod to range, i admit i couldn't match his distance.
But i tried and had a few spods full land all around us.
He said i was releasing the line too soon into the cast,which i understand now.
Anyway he swung out another spod just as he was telling me what i was doing wrong again...(i was getting a bit peed off by now)

His rod nearly doubled up with the force he put into the cast,was quite amazing,i looked out into the lake expecting to see his spod hit the opposite bank,but no it started raining spod mix on us and his spod hit him on his head.

I laughed so hard i was crying.

With a straight face he turned to me and said "there I've shown what your doing wrong"

Iv'e have a mate who managed to get a barbed baiting needle stuck in his bum through his jeans. He couldn't take his pants down they were pinned to his body . He eventualy gritted his teeth and pulled it out. At the time despite just fishing down the bank from him I was unaware of his predicament. When he turned up in my swim and told me his sorry tale I asked him through fits of hysterical laughter why he didn't enlist my help. He told me he new I'd be helpless with laughter.

i'm definitely in the chavender school of utter incompetence most of the time.
ive fallen into most of the rivers and lakes that ive ever fished. including walking off the end of a concrete peir into a lake and fallen out of a tree while fishwatching.
ive cast my unhooking mat into the water a couple of times hooked numerous things including my mates bum, my coat and my chair while failing to cast out.
sat on an electric fence while climbing over it when my legs ran off in opposite directions.
fallen over in the mud fallen out of a boat while pulling for a break.
sat on a plastic bag and tobogganed into the trent.
caught a swan and a seagull.
got to the bank after an hours drive to find that all my hooks were back at home.
had a catapult shoot me in the face with a ball of ground bait ( that one i will never figure out because i was firing the catapult)
there's probably some more as well but they slip my mind at the moment.

Not that unlucky myself but did put a barbed hook through my lip as a kid which required hospital attention. Worst part was going with my Dad on a seven mile bus trip to the childrens hospital with the hook on show! Also hooked my leg through a pair of jeans (barbed again) which took some getting out. Got attacked by a swarm of wasps when collecting grubs for chub fishing. Fell up a bank and sprained my wrist,fell into the Trent and only just managed to get out again; but all these mishaps happened (apart from the wasps) when I was a youngster. Maybe as I get older I get wiser but from comments my wife,son and daughter make I doubt it lol!

Hey, Chavenda and Jason - any good at golf? ;o)

i once hit a golf ball that ricocheted back of the side of the ramp up to the windmill it flew past my ear hit someone behind me on another hole on the back of his head knocking out his false teeth which fell into the hole he was putting into on a crazygolf corse,and many years ago at long eaton's westpark pitch and put
i bent a stick when i missed the ball and i head butted a flag pole as i bent down to pick up my ball slipped fell flat on my face bangiing my head on the way down

This has got to be the funniest thread I have seen for a long time ,coffee all over the place ,jason & Chavender ,ever thought of fishing together ?

if we did les we'd get tangled together fall in and drown, it's probably not wise.

i am new to the sport and as such very conscious of never doing anything correctly - i am self taught as no one i know really fancies taking up the sport.

it was a cold wintery day before christmas and it was only me and another bloke opposite, who i had helped take pictures of his catches. he had 3 daiwa entoh reels and cleary was quite a seasoned pro - he visited my humble football pitch sized day ticket water as its always quiet and he was fed up of blanking at his syndicate water. i was trying to keep an air of upmost proffesional behaviour, including not putting too many leads in trees etc, or hitting him with missfired boilies from the catty, you know the score.

however, i was so excited when my right hand rod tore off that i jump out of my chair, forgetting the thaw had turned the ground to slimy clay, fell backwards, launching the rod in to the air behind me, kicking the pod and other rod in to the margin with my right foot and landed quite painfully on my left hip. still, i was fortunte that the other guy was around, not only did he help me up and help to retrieve my sunken pod, he also made a luvely condolence cuppa as i had lost the fish too!

Another caper of col my mate with the baiting needle in his bum was carp fishing on opening night. You remember them when after 3months of abstinance you were once again let loose on all those supposedly now naive easy to catch fish!

Col had positioned his bed chair right next to his rods Kevin Maddocks style to enable him to reach his rods in the event of a run. The night had been chilly so col had zipped up his sleeping bag and left just his striking arm outside the bag. Just after dawn col was woken by a screaming run and the plan worked a treat, he was able to imediately strike the run without having to get off his bed chair. Unfortunately his other arm was trapped in the sleeping bag and as Col wriggled like a maggot to free himself he leant back tipping up his bedchair. I arrived in his swim having heard the run to find col still on his bedchair with his feet in the air wriggling like a decapitated worm with a doubled over rod in one hand and his other along with the rest of his body stuck in his sleeping bag.

Off course true to form I fell about laughing and was no help whatsoever.

The night before a 24 hour session My brother and me went out for a drink and a curry to discuss the plan of action for our trip.
Halfway into my balti and sixth onion ring my belly started to speak to me in a swahili dialect.

Next morning was an early start,and a couple of hours later with it raining saw us all set up and into our fist cuppa.

Pressure was building and being a small lake with others close to us,runs coming regular,and not really wanting to leave my rods i held myself.

Darkness fell all was calm ,a lovely warm night all of us were outside our bivvies whispering ,you could just hear the ripples on the water.

Perfection.

then

i could feel a sneeze coming so i put my fingers on my nose.

Sneezed...farted the loudest ever..then shat myself.

Hahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Nice one Spoddy.

spoddy I had the same sort of problems a few years ago,anyway I couldnt wait any longer so I crept through the bushes to a clearing dropped my one piece suit ,squirted for england wiped me bum and dressed nice one I thought,wrong I heard all this clapping and cheering and when I looked up there was 30-40 italian women in the greenhouses.....................................ooooops

i know a bloke who got took short in a match in the winter league in oxford, he shot off into the bushes and when he came back out and put the hood of his coat up he got a turd on the head.