Here's what I think

"21 B Aqua Lane,
Flitwick,
Beds

Undated

Dear ****head,

You are nothing more than the biggest ?$%*&!! that I have ever f******well known in my ba*****ing life!!

Not only have you painted MY f*****g fishing hut bright f******g gold, you have gone and dumped shite in MY river. I discovered from the Great Ouse River Board that all the f*****g fish from Thornton Bridge to Stoney Stratford have f*****well expired. EXPIRED!!! that's what I said you f******g t**t!

Serously, you, you son-of-a-b*******d bitch want a f*****g great pineapple inserting into your assole the f*****g apple end first!!

Never, and I repeat NEVER send me any of your f*****g purile letters to me again or I will send my mate Pete with his shotgun loaded with salt to empty two f*****g barrels into your miserable writhing ringpiece.

Get hence you stupid mother F*****g W****er

Best wishes

****"


Old **** never did believe in mincing his words when he lost his temper.

Hahahaaaaa.
A brilliant reply Ron to an equally brilliant piece of penmanship from Kevin. Long may it continue.

Whoops sorry I should have said Rick.

And any similarity between assole Don Silt and moi is purely make-believe.

Ron

Are you sure that those are really liver spots on the back of your hands and not creosote stains.....?

The only pictures on the walls of that hut were the famous painting of the monks fishing by Walter Dendy Sadler and a photo of Peter Thomas holding Clarissa. Those of you who visited the hut in the 60s will confirm the truth.

A cupboard held a considerable amount of booze, mainly Long Life Beer (brewed in a can), a drink old **** loved. Personally I couldn't stand the stuff. There were also several packs of Consulate cigarettes - no doubt an emergency supply. Old **** chain smoked these things. He told me that they tasted so horrible, they helped cut down his smoking!! There were also a couple of large bottles of Lucozade. **** drank this stuff in huge quantities too.

On one occasion I went there, the farmer had a herd of heifers which licked half the darned paint off the front of my hired car.

In one of the drawers were several books, including a rather battered and thumbed copy of "Still Water Angling". One of the books was a little "risque" if you ask me. On top of the table was an ACA collection box, heavy with money. In another of the drawers was a book of Great Ouse River Board Licences, and another box for licence payments.

The place ran on bottled Calor gas, including the lights and stove.

The worst part about that hut was the toilet. A nasty chemical one which had some of the largest British spiders I have ever seen running rampant around it.

The star of the whole show was the visitors book which everyone who went to the place used to sign. There was a section where you put in catch reports.

Many of the most famous names in British angling were in that book. I wonder where it is now? It would fetch a pretty penny as a collectors lot at auction I can tell you.

On one occasion a van was seen approaching down the farm track. Out of the front of the van jumped two of England's most famous anglers who shall be nameless.

They looked perplexed and quickly equired why I was there. I told them to contact IH who kept the booking records.

Out of the back of the van jumped two young females????

After a few red faces all round, they jumped back in the van and made off!!

Ah many are the tales that can be told about that fishing hut. Old Tag Barnes had a few to tell but they went to the grave with him.

But the times I sat by that little river were perhaps some of the happiest days of my life.

I have often thought that **** Walker's fishing hut should have been preserved and kept as a living memorial to The Golden Age of English Angling.

But it was destroyed by vandals.

I should imagine J Arthur Rank was a frequent visitor .....judging by the well thumbed/stained 'risque' book

Is that all you can think of Ed?

Hubcaps and carnal desires, that's all the blinkin Scousers know.........)

Brilliant Kevin!!!!
Your humour is gentle and very clever, you paint pictures with words and crown them with a smile, it hits the mark without hurting a soul.
It must be good as even Ron (the fig) Clay approves!
MORE MORE MORE!

Hehehe! Its bloomin good to be an angler innit? Even better if you are an angler on Fishingmagic who reads Kevin Perkin's wonderful contributions.

Kevin mate, I wish you lived next door to me, just at present I could do with some laughs in my life and who better to provide them.

Graham

You are too kind, hope things brighten up for you soon mate

Regards

Kevin