Best Seller

Just been browsing various threads and Baz kept popping up in most of them with his usual wealth of information and wit.This got me thinking, would it be a good idea if he wrote a book sharing his knowledge and escapades on the river bank? Could be a best seller. What do you think?

Yep definitely!

"A day in the life of a bailiff".

can i have asigned copie

well if not a book baz how about a bit for fm like the monk and ron the hat ? only one thing if he did and i hope he does? lets not have another thread like has baz got the hump nobdy has to read it ? come on baz give us another good read

There are a few Fat Jake storys that nobody has heard yet. I think I told one of them where he said that he hated dogs. Me and another mate were both dog lovers, so we made it so that he couldn't come fishing with us unless he let my rotty sit in the front seat of his brand new BMW as he drove us around a few fishing lakes.

Or the time we led him through a speed camera trap and he got a nice fine. We wasn't speeding but he was in trying not to loose sight of us, as we told him we were going to a secret lake that held monster Carp.

The best of all had to be when we put senocots in his cup of tea. We were on a lake in the middle of a country park with plenty of the public walking about. The toilets were about half a mile away, but with a bit of carefull planning (about two weeks) we pulled it off.

Casters on his butties loads of times. Aaah yes, fond memorrys.

Ah! but would the book be half price for pensioners I wonder?

no it would be double to anybody living off the state i think ?

Hahahaaa that sounds about right Brendan.

Graham.
Believe it or not some of my best storys were things that happened with a little help from pensioners. That's who I learnt my trade off in the first place.

Go for it Baz. Just think when you are famous outside of Fishing Magic you will be asked to do after dinner speeches as well.Obviously you will do it free for pensioners cos as you say that's where you learnt your trade.

Brendan, I started that thread in jest, but some took advantage of the opportunity to rip into me old mate Baz.

I apologised for starting it and asked peeps to stop posting, but they didn't.

Anyway, how about the geezer on the bowling green Baz, have you got it somewhere? That was a brilliant story!!!

Will all FM members get a free copy (signed by the author of course)?

Aaah the Bowling Green. I could only find this one Steve -:

The bowling season is finished for this year; (thank God) unless you have to put up with the rowdyism from the so called older generation, you can?t really understand what Hell I go through. Week in and week out, the clapping, laughter, and cheering that goes on, sometimes until 10 p.m. at night, I swear it?s driving me insane.

I like nothing better than a good book to read, and often visit the library. Why can?t the old warps take a leaf out of my book and do the same? What harm can an old warp do by going to the library?

Nothing could be simpler, or could it?
I can guarantee that when I go to the library, I will be stood there looking for a certain book, when all of a sudden, some old codger will appear from nowhere, and stand directly behind me rattling an Uncle Joe?s Mint Ball or polo mint around his chops, sucking and slurping as if there was no tomorrow, or snuffling and breathing heavily down my ear hole. It?s no good walking away and looking down another aisle because these irritating old gits will follow you and do the same again.

They should be strip searched before being allowed anywhere near a public building, and anything harder than a jelly baby should be confiscated.
Getting back to the club, the line dancing season has started again, and that means I will be keeping a check on the noise levels, not to mention the flashing disco lights. What on earth do they need them for when they are all dressed up as Tom Mix or Gabby Hayes, with their thumbs stuck down their waist bands doing the stomp, and shouting yehaaaa!! At the least opportunity.
I?ll give them dressing up in cowboy clothes, you see if I don?t.

Nobody would recognise me in something like a Clint Eastwood outfit, with extra long spurs, and once the music started I would be the cause of a few grazed shins, or bruised ribs when I get by elbows going aswell.
They think they are safe from people like me once they are inside the clubhouse, but I know different.
I will not be shut out!

Also <u>Enemy at the Gate.</u>

Field of conflict....The Bowling Green.

Distance.......80 yds.

Wind speed.....20mph.

Wind direction....N/W.

Target....Old Tommy jacksons arsehole.

As I am stood in my front bedroom with my back to the wall, and the window partly open and the curtains half closed.

I am a standard lamp. I will not Move. If I do not move. He can not see me.
Ptiiiinngggg! Bullseye. The look of shock on his face as the dome shaped pellet struck home was a joy to behold.
Reach for the sky you old git.

That's the one Baz, but you've edited it.
It was much longer than that as I remember?

Couldn't find the full story Ste.