Fishing as therapy

Merry Xmas all!!

I was sitting thinking, as you do, plenty of time for that while the kids are opening presents like crack addicts!!

Anyway, I suffer Bi Polar Disorder, more commonly known as Manic Depression, big highs, usually in the form of rash decision making, irrational thoughts etc, followed by tremendous lows, characterised by deep depressions, agraphobia (in my case), I'm sure you all get the idea.

Now since I've been fishing, which is now my second season, it has very much been my "escape", the opportunity to be on my own, away from the stresses of the real world. The chance to reflect and evaluate my behaviour, moods and future. My wife realises that I need this time and is mostly very supportive, although she lets me know when I've been overdoing it and need family time... Some summer weeks I've been going 5 out of 7 days!! (Yeah a lucky bugger I know!!)

I've found that I prefer night sessions, as I fish by the GU Canal, this suits more due to boat traffic etc. Mostly producing better results and weights to. I don't drive so its more out of having to, than choice.

I'm finding the winter months hard, very hard in fact. The lack of fishing, lack of results and the stinging cold. They very much don't help brighten my mood! Which is very fluid at the best of times.

I haven't been for ages now, due to a broken reel, kindly solved by a fellow FM poster (Thanks mate!!) and a friend who has given me a few.

I spend time in my garage sorting my stuff out over and over again, make up wierd bait concoctions, generally I like the fact that fishing is not just "by the bank". I also read several magazines, drooling over the quality fish people catch.

Trouble is, my motivation has got up and gone, I used to get excited about fishing, I'm not anymore. Now this is probably a combination of my moods, weather, lack of results etc I find it hard to leave the house even on non fishing related business!! Much to my wifes annoyance. My closest friends live back in London so my fishing is a somewhat lonely pursuit, but there are times when I'm gagging for company, other times when that is the last thing I want!!

Why am I writing this, dunno really just to get it "out there" fishing is a very theraputic pasttime, one I am glad to have taken up... But fishing itself causes me mood swings within my mood swings, if that makes sense to anyone.

I long for summer, well more bearable weather at least, weather to improve my catches, because I know that feeling of when I caught my first Tench from the canal, judged to be 5 or 6lb by friends from the picture, what a high, 02 30am and I was dancing!! Good job no one was about, they would have known I am nuts!! But my point is that the rush it gave me lasted a long time, I want that back... Tis a bugger I have to wait so long!! Its a better and more instant rush than I get from my medication. Its because I have made the effort, worked hard for the catch!!

Right I'm done, I hope that gives everyone an insight into MY world, sometimes a very self destructive one, always an up and down one, NEVER a predictable one. I've written this for me, not for you lot, but if someone gets something from it then great...

Enjoy your festive season, however you choose to spend it!!!

Regards

Andy

I think your winter catches have declined because you are fishing stillwaters. These are usually harder than rivers in winter. I suggest you try fishing a river. Fish in rivers still have to use up energy in winter because they have to swim against the current, so they tend to feed more than still water fish.

I think alot has to do with the fact that I am fishing on a non existent budget as well, I cannot afford fluro lines, specialist rods or kits or tackle. My kit is bought very much on the cheap and I think this has somebearing as well. My usual spend is hooks n the odd float. Plus being a beginner I find that obviously fishing is a learning curve, sometimes a steep one and a very frustrating one... I read alot trying to glean all the information I can from here, magazines and books.

But we live and learn, most of the time I enjoy learning.. Although sometimes there is no substitute for being shown something.

But I was writing this for advice,sympathy or anything... I wrote it cos I needed to...

But thanks I appreciate your advice, luckily we have the superb Great Ouse and Ouzel here, its a fishing heaven, I'm sure my fishing will be far mor varied when and if I learn to drive!!!

Thanks again

Keith is quite right. I hardly ever fish still waters in Winter. I don't even call fenland drains still waters.

The difficulty for me is actually getting to the river to fish.. I understand where you are coming from aws regards the theory behind it... Just the practicality!!!

Andy, I think I know where you're coming from mate.

Sometimes I find it hard to get motivated during winter, the wildlife and water has changed, the fishing is harder and it's cold. I would also advice getting onto a river, fish light (1.7 bottom and an 18 hook) cut down on the loose feed. Wrap up warm and try to enjoy it, if you get it right you can have some cracking days, the roach and chub usually oblige no matter how cold it is. When you do get it right the feeling of success is as good as it is in summer.

I'm off out tomorrow, I don't feel like going I've got a stinking cold, but when I get there I know I will get engrossed and if I catch some roach and chub I will feel ten times better.

Good luck mate.

The cheapest form of transport in this country is a 50cc scooter. They cost very little and with a bit of planning will hold all the gear you want in terms of tackle.

eg: 4 piece Avon rod, Tackle bag and seat combo - Wychwood do a very nice bit of gear plus a folding landing net.

With this small outlay you can fish miles of the Upper Ouse which is a fabulous river. And you will catch more chub there than all the blokes lugging loads of tackle.

When I was in my teens I went miles on my little scooter/moped. No problem with parking and in many cases you can ride right up to your swim.

All for a few pence for fuel in those days, these days - a few quid.

And if you can ride a pushbike, these latest little scooters are easier. And they will do 70mph. My old bike struggled to make 45mph.

I think thats part of it...

The rush of catching a nice fish is something else.. When up the canal I don't usually catch loads.. even in summer. a few bream etc Unless I do fine down and switch to maggot or worm and then the wee perch and roach oblige.

I think my illness kind of amplifies (if thats the right word) the up and down feelings associated with fishing, during the summer I find I don't mind blanking as much, being off work I know I can go pretty soon again. During the winter blanking gets me down because I think I've made the effort to get out in the cold etc when the going is tough and not catching tends to cause a down feeling.

I'm also a bt of a clumsy angler, always breaking something or losing this that or the other... I have got the tag "Captain Clumsy" after the "fishing species" cartoon in Anglers Mail!!!

I used to ride a 125cc Kawasaki in my youth, be nice to get another bike again oneday, but due to my illness and being out off work because of it finances won't allow!!!

I knnow inside that I will get better, small steps and I'll improve, some days its 1 step forward and 2 back but overall,well, i'll get there!!

ha ha I should start my own nutter blog!!!

I don't really know what I can suggest Andy --
But one thing I will say is that it must have taken you a lot of courage to come on here and 'bare your soul' like you have --good on you , and I hope you soon get the motivation back again ......maybe when the weather starts 'picking up' again and the warmer,longer days are back you'll feel a bit better

You seem to be doing alright Andy. At leats you're able to look at yourself with a little humour and that's never bad.

As for winter fishing, I think we're all a bit depressed in the colder months. I am certianly and long for the longer summer nights, fishing until midnight in shirt sleeves. The one good thing about now, this day, is - it starts to get better and better!

Andy, I do not profess to know all the answers but I do have some experience in dealing with someone ( my wife's cousin)who has a depressive illness.
Having read your post I will attempt to make a few, hopefully, helpful suggestions.
You said you enjoyed the preparation side of anging as much as the actual thing but you also had limited financial resources to devote to it.
A couple of other posters have suggested buying rods to suit rivers at this time of year.
Try visiting a car boot sale or two, you will be amazed what they can produce, tackle wise. I found a tired old split cane rod and centre pin and refurbished the two myself in garage. As long as the blank is intact you can buy new rings,whip them on and clean up the cork handle and ferrules.
You'll also find perfectly good fibreglass and carbon rods on sale for buttons, together with servicable reels, boxes etc.
One of Britain's most well respected anglers told me he finds the next best thing to fishing is talking about it to other anglers-and has made a career out of it.
Now, I appreciate you feel somewhat isolated and miss your friends, but there are a couple of ways to open doors to make new friendships if you really want to.
This site is as close as you can get to talking to other anglers.Use it regularly, become part of the inner sanctum!
Secondly, are you a member of club? If not try and join one. Volunteer for the work parties and that is a great way to meet your fellow club anglers. I'll eat my cap if someone doesnt say to you, "Andy we are going up to the River fancy coming along?"
Alternatively, spend a few hours in your local tackle shop , you'll soon end up chatting to other anglers at the counter.
What you need is the motivation of arranging to meet someone on the bankside to fish side by side. A few laughs does wonders for moral and you'll find it doesnt matter if you catch or not.
It's all about socialisation and stopping you becoming isolated in your own world.
People out there are generally very caring and supportive, and there is no better pastime to be involved in than angling.
If the weather is thwarting you at present don't fish but walk the banks and stop and talk to those who are fishing. They'll relish the company too. All anglers fishing alone can get lonely, not just you.
I'd take you out myself but there is a little matter of 250 miles between us I guess, but there are FM members on here who might relish some comapny. Good luck and happier and more contented 2007.

Andy,

I have suffered from a similar problem to yourself in the past.

A year after my wife died I collapsed at work and was taken to hospital where they did a number of scans. To cut a long story short the phsycologist diagnosed a mild panic attack and told me in no incertain terms to stop worrying!

About 6 years ago I arrived at work, got out of the car and fell flat on my face. My legs refused to work. I also had this tremendous pain across my chest.

I was taken to Rotherham Hospital to intensive care. You can imagine how I felt.

After all sorts of tests involving CAT and MRI scans, they could find NOTHING wrong with me physically. They then put me onto a phsycologist who spent 3 hours questioning me about my past life.

And after 10 days I still couldn't walk!!

The phsycologist diagnosed severe depression couple with an almighty panic attack.

All he told me to to was stop worrying!!

With the help of a Zimmer Frame, I was bit by bit, able to walk again.

However there followed 6 weeks of problems with my bowels. I put this down to the terrible food I was been given in the hospital.

In about 2 months I was fully recovered and since then I have learned not to worry about anything.

Yes, as Ed says it does take guts to bare your soul.

And I, like you often feel depression coming on as the winter months approach.

But I have now learned to handle it.

The first few days of springtime do it for me. The buds on the trees and a flyrod in my hand. My most enjoyable style of fishing by far.

Ron said-:
"However there followed 6 weeks of problems with my bowels"


For God's sake Andy -- If Ron recommends figs as a cure - DON'T take his advice !!!!

Andy

Do you have a pushbike?
I dont drive either but you would be suprised how many waters you can get to in half an hour on a bike, plus the ride in itself can be enjoyable as you get to see more.
A couple of vecro straps from the pound shop to strap your rod to the cross bar or a telescopic with a rucksack can do the trick.
I have a bike with panniers now and can cart more gear around than what you could with a trolley but i managed for years with a mountain bike.

The rivers round by me fish brilliant in the winter.
I find you need to vary your venues, species, and techniques anyway to keep things ineresting when your motivation for one type of fishing waines read up and try something new.

You dont need top of the range tackle either to catch fish, I dont know what your budget is but i only spend about 5 or 6 quid a week on bait and tackle and have now collected enough bits and bobs that i can turn my hand to most types of fishing if i wish.

Anyway good luck and hope all the advice you get of fm will pick your spirits up a bit and get you out and about enjoying yourself

Nick

Andy. The fact that you have posted this on here shows courage and you obviously have insight into your condition.

I know summoning the motivation to do anything when you are down is a huge effort, and the agrophobia must be frustrating.

Peter bishop has given some excelent advice to which I can add little. If you can get out on the canal bank for a walk in the area you know and chat to any anglers out there it may spur you on.
The roach should be shoaled up somewhere at this time of year. Fish for them just to catch one regardless of size, if you find them good catches can be made.

The majority of us suffer a dip in motivation at this time of year. Just set out to catch 1 fish, then if you like go home!!

Thanks everyone.. I'm grateful and glad you all took the time to reply...

As I said I wasn't posting looking for sympathy or help or charity or anything...

Just that it seemed worth doing and kind of helpful to me...

I was first diagnosed a little over a year ago after I almost walked away from my family and it ended up in me overdosing, more out of a cry for help than any needd to "do myself in"!!!

It really is a rollercoaster, in the year or so since then I have been very much up and down.. But my wife has been the best, she understands and is determined to help me recover, god knows where I'd be without here help, she is one in a million. She has put up with plenty, my moods being all over the place aside, financially its crippling... But hey ho.. We look to the future and both have no doubt things will improve!!!

But apart from fishing and being on the computer, my life is pretty bland, so fishing really does fill a big hole, I'd be lost without it...

But thanks again chaps.... Tis nice to hear from you all.

Blimey it's a confessional.. Illness such as we're discussing is now thankfully without taboo; as a sufferer of clinical depression for 8+ years, I've seen a few changes. Nothing like as severe as Andy here, but I would be wary of putting too many eggs in angling's basket, especially if getting out at all is a difficulty. I'd be wary of the frustration found at this time of year, unless I was lucky enough to live on a river (I'm not). I hope that you can team up with someone and that this site provides encouragement, as the contributors clearly care about our sport and those who participate, of all abilities, ages and with different needs.