(ref pic).
In order to save money on expensive materials, Network North East have started to introduce the new "human train buffer system".
The first recruit "Mr Adge Gorthorpe" of Sunderland was most enthusiastic after being accepted as the first recruit....
"Bafore a wor doin this wha lad...ah waz workin puttin tha holes into tha tup of pork pies, so as far as am concerned...this is easy money leek!".
(As a footnote, Mr Gorthorpe started work at Newcastle central station at 11pm yesterday, and arrived at London Kings Cross5hours later...he is accepting visitors and get well soon cards).