I'm packing it all in !

I heard that said by a well known trent angler twenty five years plus back after saying he had missed his kids from growing up, he said he wanted to be around for the few years left before they got any older.
He went on to say that all the planning, prep, and execution two days per week just had to stop before it was to late.
It was said at the bar of a trentside pub all those years ago and I have never forgotton it.
Angling is very obsessive at times and I know guys who's relationships have failed on account of it.
Anyone on here seen it get the better of someone they know ?

I have seen about half a dozen divorces with carp anglers since the late sixties. Anglers going full time and ruining there job prospects and even having health and mental breakdowns over carp fishing. I know of one who would not leave his rods for months on end he did not wash he crapped in plastic bags and his wife collected them when she bought his supplies to him. He was covered in sores and he stank to high heaven in the end he was evicted from the fishery for his own good. Another fella I introduced to carp fishing in 1980 walked away from his wife and children and his business for carp fishing. His wife had a go at me on several occasions as we lived in the same street. It really does take control of some people and it is not a nice thing to see. Some recover but the cost can be great.

Did Jack Hilton pack it all in?

I went almost 10 years with very little fishing (couple of sessions per year), during my late teens to late 20's - I had more pressing activities to occupy my time.

Never thought of packing it in, chasing fish was among other things responsible for my first marriage break up, was it worth it, course it was she was a cow.

shaunfox said:

Did Jack Hilton pack it all in?

I went almost 10 years with very little fishing (couple of sessions per year), during my late teens to late 20's - I had more pressing activities to occupy my time.

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I was told he got a stronger belief in religion and went down that road.

No, I don't know anyone like that and don't particularly want to. I suspect that I might be closer to it (but still a good distance from being that obsessive) than any of my angling friends. However, I don't have the commitments that any of them do.

Hi shaun, didnt JH devote much of his later life to religeon. I seem to remember reading somewhere that he did.
Tinker, yes, extraordinary how some guys in the big fish world went downhill as you described.
I enjoyed my carp days (and nights) but only ever did overnighters that went a full day/night/late afternoon.
Head down then from monday to friday but my annual holidays were pretty generous .

If i had to chose between Fishing and my Family, Family would come first every time. It would be a sad day for me if the reverse was true.

I can well se why someone would become obsessed with Fishing, but, to put it before all else including themselves, well, that just doesn't seem right to me.

I worked with a carp angling lad who used to knock off work and go straight to his water, returning back to work from said water in the morning. This went on for a few months and I said to him on more than one occasion that he'd suffer burn out.
He sold all his gear a while back and is now an obsessive twitcher travelling all over the country at the merest hint of a sighting of a brown tailed whatever.

Judas Priest said:

I worked with a carp angling lad who used to knock off work and go straight to his water, returning back to work from said water in the morning. This went on for a few months and I said to him on more than one occasion that he'd suffer burn out.
He sold all his gear a while back and is now an obsessive twitcher travelling all over the country at the merest hint of a sighting of a brown tailed whatever.

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Some people are like that I call them bees they visit every flower in the meadow. They never seem to settle for long.

I have had the most understanding soul mate anyone could wish for, for nearly 50 yrs but you must compromise. That includes following her around open gardens smiling and appearing to interested in the flower beds or whatever.
In return I fish whenever and even have tackle for birthdays and Christmas.

The only reason i go fishing is to get some peace from everyday life, i try to go once a week but it isnt always possible. Its the thing i look forward to all week at work and feel its my entitlement if you like, i never go out on the **** anymore, and all my other time is spent at work or with my wife and kids. If i started having arguments with the long haired general over fishing once a week i would divorce her, not because i cant live without fishing, but because that would be taking away pretty much the only thing i can do on my own these days. If i had no responsibilities i could sleep by the lake for weeks at a time, as im sure most of us could, but to do that while i have a wife and kids is something i couldnt do, i wouldnt lose my kids for anything...........the wife on the other hand, well thats another matter

I have a couple of very good friends back in the UK who put their sporting interests before their wives and families. One would be off wild fowling or fishing the fens or Yorkshire coast whenever he wasn't at work. The other shot clays to a high level and was off all over Europe representing the national team. Neither of them saw their kids grow up.

One is divorced. He got home from hospital after suffering a heart attack to find that there was only one chair and a 'Dear John' note in the house. The other is still happily married. Well, he is happy. Strange thing is that the friend who is divorced spends more time with his kids and grand kids than the one who is still married

I have always put my wife first and always will. Fishing is a hobby. But a wife is for life. Not just for Christmas

Nope....I'm passionate about it but not obsessive and I dont need to go just to say I have. I'd like to get out more but by not going "come what may" it makes the times when I do get out all the better. Dreadful tackle tinkerer though.... I'm forever fiddling about in boxes & bags,tying rigs I dont really need etc etc. I rarely fish weekends now...too much else to do home/family wise and I like a bit of room/peace bankside.

And frankly...the older I get the less inclined I am to get up of a weekend...particularly when the weather is like it is currently.

I once read in a fishing mag about a ladies fishing match which was won by this lady in question who said, quote, if you can,t beat em join em.I did and we are still have a very happy marriage, I go every where with him and I enjoy every minute. this lady has developed into a very good angler her self and dose very well in matches. Now I know this would,nt be every mans cup of tea but it just goes to show a little thought saved her marriage

John Step uses the single word that covers everything in a marriage and that word is 'compromise'......and that means coming to decisions that are fair to BOTH parties.
To some, this means TELLING the wife, or partner, you're going to go fishing the next day, but at the same time, failing to LISTEN to the answer or, more importantly, take on board the usually obvious body language which says 'acceptance' under duress or with an air of disinterest....

I can recall, many years ago now, having to sit my wife down to explain the difference between a fisherman and a gardener in terms of time and convenience. To a non fisherperson it's not altogether obvious that the time required to follow the two pastimes are entirely different. Even the simple matter of 'time necessary' isn't obvious, but in the end she could easily see, that whereas she could pop out of the house into the garden for an hour, then pop back in to fill the washing machine, then pop back out into the garden again all through the day, was totally, totally different a fisherman who wants to go out, possibly for the day, in reasonable weather and this after some planning, bait buying etc etc.
All it meant, in the end, was a different approach to all the other jobs that need to be done in the house (which suited us BOTH) and that many times she would wake to find an empty bed (!) or she would be eating an evening meal alone. She could see that it was no different to her being in the garden until sunset engrossed in plants whilst I was in the house also eating a meal alone.....
Most times we have it about right, BUT we still have to compromise all the time around family visits, holidays and the million other things that need doing in the house. The main thing is that we TALK every so often to ensure parity is maintained....

Take the current situation; She has gone to Wigan to see her mum for four days, whilst I, having just had an eye op, am getting back to fishing slowly, slowly...She knew I'd had a hard time around my sight these past months, so she left me t enjoy some free time and a bit of fishing....

Works for us.......................................as I say, MOST of the time, 'cos nothing's perfect!!!

I have always done my own thing but my misses does her own thing too. We made a pact that if I did what I wanted to do then she would do the same. It has worked for us we have been together 50 years this year raised three children that have all done well for themselves so it has worked for us. We have few interests alike but gardening and fishing are two. I have never been on a family holiday without my fishing gear even when it has been just the two of us home or abroad. I have my fishing holidays and the misses goes away to POTTERS and cruises with our daughter and her sister and her mum. Not for me these sort of holidays. I did try them but not my thing. I stick to my fishing and the misses does her thing. We enjoy each other's company our friends say we have it off pat. Understanding and consideration are the key to a happy marriage it works both ways.

I played a fairly high level of amateur and part time pro football on Saturdays and Sundays until I was 36 years old....I now realise that I didn't spend enough time with my 2 kids because of it. By the time I packed it in .....they was teenagers.

The trouble is.....when you commit yourself to something like football, you cannot just not bother to turn up one day and the higher the level you play.....the more important it is to turn up ...You would be letting all sorts of people down let alone the team....but you can do that with fishing....well, pleasure fishing anyway.

I fished during the summertime in those days....but not all that often to be honest. I cannot imagine how someone can get so addicted to fishing that they allow it to affect their marriage. If I thought my footballing was affecting my marriage in any negative way.....it would have gone straight out of the window.

However, I do still hold a modicum of regret over the apparent selfishness I showed during my football days.

As far as knowing anybody who has suffered marriage problems through going fishing....the answer is no....but just thought I would put my own experiences and feelings into the thread.

Maverick

I had a mate who was fishing in London for carp. It was the night of that big storm many years ago (I cannot remember which). His girl friend who had lived with for several years phoned him up and asked him to come home as she was frightened. He refused. When he got home she threw him out and that was that.
Poor bloke was distraught but, there you go. Her in doors must be obeyed at all times.

markg said:

I had a mate who was fishing in London for carp. It was the night of that big storm many years ago (I cannot remember which). His girl friend who had lived with for several years phoned him up and asked him to come home as she was frightened. He refused. When he got home she threw him out and that was that.
Poor bloke was distraught but, there you go. Her in doors must be obeyed at all times.

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That is a sure road to a very unhappy life. The more you give the more they take as a rule. Never say yes to the request of do not go, even if you think to yourself I am wasting my time. Because it will be written in stone for ever from that day on. The day I got married four days after my 21st birthday my father called me into the front room and said are you sure you are doing the right thing boy. From the other side of the dinning table my father was not a man you took chances with. I said I am not going to make the same mistakes you did Dad. He had two rubbish marriages and he was a more than good husband to both his wives.