Spiders Charity Dayout

Ray Daywalker Clarke · Oct 11, 2008

Well this was Spiders charity day at Blenheim Palace.

As all of those who went to Damflask will know, Spiders is a Cheat, Cad & Vagabond.

I am going to have to write a full article just so you all know just what he is like.

Uncle Dave (a true gent & top guy) did warn me first thing in the morning, but as Uncle Dave said, That man has now gone to an all time low.

Whilst Dave and I caught a bag full each, Spiders managed just one small tench around 2lb, that was it.

He used all the tricks, even casting into our swims when playing in fish, he also cut my line when i was making him a cup of tea. I made tea, baited my hook, went to cast, and the lot just feel in the boat when I lifted the rod to cast.

I kid you not, uncle Dave will tell you, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

WARNING,

NEVER FISH WITH SPIDERS ON YOUR OWN.

Wolfman Woody · Oct 11, 2008

"Spiders managed just one small tench around 2lb, that was it."

He said it weighed 8lbs at least, 10 if he'd weighed it again.

Mind you Dave said he was using the Scouse method of weighing, known as "The Bounce", didn't he?

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PS. Nice to meet you last night, Ray.

Ray Daywalker Clarke · Oct 11, 2008

Jeff,

Very nice to meet you also.

As you know i had to leave, but I did say by the time he gets home and posting again, the tench would be double figures.

You heard it yourself Jeff

Wolfman Woody · Oct 11, 2008

There's no doubting it, the man's a liar, a bounder, and a dirty rotten scoundrel.

ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) · Oct 11, 2008

NowI hope you'll ALL believe Graham ,Dave and I when we tell about the horrible things he does to us and against us -- (and pretends he's being kind to us)<ul>[*]And by the way --It's the 'On the bounce' method of weighing and it's a Manchester thing [/list]

Ray Daywalker Clarke · Oct 11, 2008

Ed,

It is clear that Spiders is a Bounder. He said that the On the Bounce was a Liverpool thing.

Spiders and uncle dave are fishing there again today. I feel sorry for the landlady of the B&B,I bet he has pinched the towels and anything else that has'nt been screwed down.

I fear for Dave being stuck in a boat with Spider, and nobody there to help him.

Wolfman Woody · Oct 11, 2008

<blockquote class=quoteheader>ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote><ul>[*]And by the way --It's the 'On the bounce' method of weighing and it's a Manchester thing [/list]</blockquote>

I do beg your pardon, Ed. It's a term I have never come across, but then, despite many trying to brand me as a former "Manc", I must stipulate now that I am in fact a Chesherite, like the Honourable Graham. Born in Stalybridge - CHESHIRE.

Honest and true, that's me. If I find a penny on the floor I always try to get it back to the original owner who lost it and only when I have completely failed do I put it in the nearest charity box. That's what Cheshire people do, and they share everything with their friends, as you have witnessed on many occasions with the ever generous Mr Marsden (sucky, sucky, lick, lick - am I going too far?)

It was even said last night that if a true Manc takes his jacket off and hangs it up, it won't be long bfore it's sleeve finds its way into an adjacent jacket's pockets. And that is true.

Ray Daywalker Clarke · Oct 11, 2008

<blockquote class=quoteheader>Woody the Moaning Marlow Meldrew wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote><blockquote class=quoteheader>

It was even said last night that if a true Manc takes his jacket off and hangs it up, it won't be long bfore it's sleeve finds its way into an adjacent jacket's pockets. And that is true.</blockquote></blockquote>

Woody,

I forgot that your right, Spiders said it.

Graham Whatmore · Oct 11, 2008

This chap Mr Spiders sounds like an absolute bounder, you are to be commended Mr Clarke forretaining your composureand not giving him the thrashing he deserves.

GrahamM · Oct 11, 2008

He's an 'orrible man that Spiders. When he picks me, Ed and Dave up from 'The Home for the Bewildered' he always nicks a box of incontinence bags.

I asked him what he wanted them for and he said something about "golden showers on tap".

Whatever that means.

Ray Daywalker Clarke · Oct 11, 2008

<blockquote class=quoteheader>Graham Whatmore wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>This chap Mr Spiders sounds like an absolute bounder, you are to be commended Mr Clarke forretaining your composureand not giving him the thrashing he deserves.</blockquote>

Thank you Graham,

As I was rowing him around the lake, he sat at the other end of the boat banging a drum. He thought he was on a slave ship, and i was the slave.

As for the Thrashing, he would only have asked for more, he is that kind of guy.

Mr Marsden Sir,

The golden shower, what a mess. The boat had to be washed out, not once, twice.

Do hope you are enjoying your retirement.

ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) · Oct 11, 2008

Ray Daywalker Clarke wrote (see)<blockquote class=quote>

As I was rowing him around the lake, he sat at the other end of the boat banging a drum. He thought he was on a slave ship, and i was the slave.</blockquote>

He does that with us Ray --- he makes us call him Sanders of the River ....<blockquote class=quoteheader>Graham Marsden wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>

He's an 'orrible man that Spiders. When he picks me, Ed and Dave up from 'The Home for the Bewildered' he always nicks a box of incontinence bags.

I asked him what he wanted them for and he said something about "golden showers on tap".

Whatever that means.</blockquote>

I went for a p*ss behind a tree and he ran after me and threw himself under the stream of hot steaming pee with his shirt off

Steve Spiller · Oct 11, 2008

Oh my God!

I can actually picture Spidee Man doing a "Golden shower" on Mr Bibby! /forum/smilies/sick_smiley.gif

And mopping it up with Grahams bag!

You old codgers are sooooo gross!

Paul (Brummie) Williams · Oct 11, 2008

<blockquote class=quoteheader>ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) wrote</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>

I went for a p*ss behind a tree and he ran after me and threw himself under the stream of hot steaming pee with his shirt off</blockquote>
Spiders........now i know the truth! you are being dragged down..............Ed couldn't possibly supply the kind of flow a man of your breeding would be acustomed to!

ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) · Oct 11, 2008

Not on me ---he wants it on him ...........

Sanders of the River

Ray Daywalker Clarke · Oct 11, 2008

Paul,

Spiders wants you to think he is being dragged down, thats how he works.

I have seen first hand, as have many other.

WORDS FAIL ME.

ED (The ORIGINAL and REAL one) · Oct 11, 2008

Ray

Now doyoubelieve the stories we've been telling you

......... See Graham ,Dave and I don't tell lies ......

Morespiders · Oct 12, 2008

EHH!,

WHILE THE CATS AWAY.

I ts late, I will reply to all you arseholes tomorrow and tell the real story, I know full well, 99%of FMers, will believe me and not my detractors

Graham Whatmore · Oct 12, 2008

You are a bounder sir, an absolute cad, I shall inform Deanos of your bad behaviour and he will roll on you at your next meeting.

Mr Cholmondeley-Corker (PaSC) · Oct 12, 2008

This man is so low he could crawl under a snake's belly while wearing a very tall hat.

Spiders Charity Dayout

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