Kevin Perkins
Well-known member
Having heard that Donald had been found outside on a bench after apparently being outside all night in the freezing cold, the family rushed to the hospital where they were met by a policeman
[FONT="]‘Before you go in’ he said quite solemnly ‘I should tell you that your relative was found to be dead....’[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Damien interrupted before the policeman could say anything else ‘Dead, what you mean, dead?’ He spun round and stared at his parents, why weren’t they saying anything?[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]‘As I was saying’ continued the policeman shooting a disapproving look at Damien, ‘your uncle was found to be dead drunk this morning’
[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Damien was confused; he stared again at his parents, who now appeared to be desperately trying not to laugh. He looked back at the[/FONT] policeman, who was now smiling broadly
‘What, what, wh…..’ Damien’s brain was scrambled, he couldn’t speak.
His dad took hold of his arm and told him that Donald had rung them the day before telling him that Damien hadn’t picked him up when he should have, so he went to the pub and would make his own way home.
When he got to the pub, some of his old mates from the dominoes team were there and the evening turned into a session, ending up with a ‘lock in’ At this point the policeman shook his head disapprovingly.
Donald fell asleep in one of the fireside chairs at the pub, but woke up early and went out for a smoke. Still squiffy, he sat on the bench and promptly fell asleep, pipe in one hand, mobile in the other, apparently ready to phone for a lift.
At this point a dog walker found him and fearing the worst called an ambulance. He was taken to the hospital as a precaution and the policeman, who knows Donald very well was there when he arrived.
The pair of them cooked up a story to play a joke on Damien, after telling Damien’s parents what they were going to do.
At this point Donald came through the doors announcing the he was ‘Right as rain’ and everyone fell about laughing. Except Damien, of course.
You conniving old git’ he spluttered ‘What the f……..’ His mother stopped him in mid-rant.
‘Damien, dear’ she said ‘You should not have left your uncle to fend for himself. He is an old man, and you should have looked after him’ Damien was about to protest when she took him by the arm and walked him to the door
‘And now’ she said, lowering her voice, ‘We are going to the pub to pick up your uncle’s tackle, and you, young man, are going to sit in the back of the car with me and tell me all about your shopping trip…..!’
[FONT="]‘Before you go in’ he said quite solemnly ‘I should tell you that your relative was found to be dead....’[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Damien interrupted before the policeman could say anything else ‘Dead, what you mean, dead?’ He spun round and stared at his parents, why weren’t they saying anything?[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]‘As I was saying’ continued the policeman shooting a disapproving look at Damien, ‘your uncle was found to be dead drunk this morning’
[/FONT]
[FONT="]
[/FONT]
[FONT="]Damien was confused; he stared again at his parents, who now appeared to be desperately trying not to laugh. He looked back at the[/FONT] policeman, who was now smiling broadly
‘What, what, wh…..’ Damien’s brain was scrambled, he couldn’t speak.
His dad took hold of his arm and told him that Donald had rung them the day before telling him that Damien hadn’t picked him up when he should have, so he went to the pub and would make his own way home.
When he got to the pub, some of his old mates from the dominoes team were there and the evening turned into a session, ending up with a ‘lock in’ At this point the policeman shook his head disapprovingly.
Donald fell asleep in one of the fireside chairs at the pub, but woke up early and went out for a smoke. Still squiffy, he sat on the bench and promptly fell asleep, pipe in one hand, mobile in the other, apparently ready to phone for a lift.
At this point a dog walker found him and fearing the worst called an ambulance. He was taken to the hospital as a precaution and the policeman, who knows Donald very well was there when he arrived.
The pair of them cooked up a story to play a joke on Damien, after telling Damien’s parents what they were going to do.
At this point Donald came through the doors announcing the he was ‘Right as rain’ and everyone fell about laughing. Except Damien, of course.
You conniving old git’ he spluttered ‘What the f……..’ His mother stopped him in mid-rant.
‘Damien, dear’ she said ‘You should not have left your uncle to fend for himself. He is an old man, and you should have looked after him’ Damien was about to protest when she took him by the arm and walked him to the door
‘And now’ she said, lowering her voice, ‘We are going to the pub to pick up your uncle’s tackle, and you, young man, are going to sit in the back of the car with me and tell me all about your shopping trip…..!’
