Mr Cholmondeley-Corker (PaSC)
Senior Member
I was recently 'cornered' by a herd of cows at the waters edge. It took half and hour, a big stick and a lot of shouting to make them go away.
It's Official
It's Official
Cows are dangerous - it's official
- Thread starter Mr Cholmondeley-Corker (PaSC)
- Start date
richiekelly
Well-known member
i have only found them to be aggresive if they have calfs or you have a dog with you other than that i think they are just nosey, i used to fish a stretch of the trent where you had to put ropes around your car to stop them licking it, but i aggree they can be intimidating because of their size
The bad one
Well-known member
like you I grew up around livestock and agree with your comment. However, because of that early awareness of them, you know instinctively how not to put yourself in harms way of them. Eg. not letting them get you in corner up against a hedge, wall or fence because of the possibility of movement and crushing you.
You also never allow yourself to get between a cow and a young suckling calf in a field. That is a disaster waiting to happen! The worst breed of cattle for charging you under this situation are Galloways. They are fearless when protecting their calves. I've seen them have a go at a tractor, landrover on more than few occasions.
Interestingly, last week I was talking to a guy on the river and there were some Holstiens in the field. Whilst gabbing, I felt something rooting in my waistcoat pocket and turned round and it was one of the cows. I gave it a stroke and a pat and off it went quite content.
That may sound silly, and actually may even be totally silly because I never lived anywhere near livestock so I have no idea if that's the right thing to do or not, but each time I get cornered by cows, and actually last time was yesterday as I was fishing on the river Thame I speak to them calmly, not too loud and actually in three different languages, alterning between them and I keep talking to them while I carry on fishing until they eventually leave. Ok it takes some time but never failed to work 
at one point I must be so boring than they prefer to leave
at one point I must be so boring than they prefer to leave 
Rodney Wrestt
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I carry a clown costume in my kit, they stay clear of ol' Ronald.
Ray Roberts
Well-known member
A tube of Colemans mustard poking out of your top pocket has much the same effect.
peter crabtree
AKA Simon, 1953 - 2022 (RIP)
That may sound silly, and actually may even be totally silly because I never lived anywhere near livestock so I have no idea if that's the right thing to do or not, but each time I get cornered by cows, and actually last time was yesterday as I was fishing on the river Thame I speak to them calmly, not too loud and actually in three different languages, alterning between them and I keep talking to them while I carry on fishing until they eventually leave. Ok it takes some time but never failed to work
Which languages work best???
Anglo Saxon 'F-ck Off' never fails.
Rodney Wrestt
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Yeah, they're not so brave
Stealph Viper
Well-known member
Why not go the whole hog, Mustard, yorkshire puds, Carrots, peas, gravy granules, Tatties that would get the buggers running the other way
Rodney Wrestt
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You've taken it too far now S.V.
Stealph Viper
Well-known member
Sorry m8, it was the addition of the Veggies, wasn't it
Alan Tyler
Well-known member
Gravy granules! What an insult! You'd be gored, tossed, and then trampled so flat the 999 types wouldn't be able to fill a matchox with the bigger bits. The "funeral" would consist of re-naming the field "Viper's Folly", or if they stripped off the topsoil to make sure they'd got every last bit of you (BSE quarantining and such), then mebbe "Viper's Hill".
And the herd would be able to plead intolerable provocation, and go unpunished.
And the herd would be able to plead intolerable provocation, and go unpunished.
Stealph Viper
Well-known member
That would be Gravely Granules
Dave Slater
Well-known member
Load of bullocks
Ray Roberts
Well-known member
I was chased a while ago, Great big black jobbie with a full set of horns. It was a strange looking cow with only the one udder, you should have seen the size of that udder though. It put the fear of God into me.
Chris Season32
Well-known member
I've always found cows to be polite and considerate muggers, who gently nudge you into the river. Bulls and horses can be mean spirited. However, fishing the river Wye a few years ago I discovered the meanest bas***ds by far are Goats. Once they've finished tupping the bejesus out of you, the evil gits eat your gear.