Would You Qualify?

For "The Golden Scale Club"?

I am not sure whether this august body still exists. It was founded by Chris Yates during an alcoholic stupor reinforced with mild tannin poisoning I am told. The main qualifications of the club is that you have to dress in Edwardian style clothes, take out a subscription to Waterlog magazine, use ancient decrepid tackle, revere the gudgeon, and not only eat large quantities of fruitcake, behave like one too.

A few of my old friends and acquaintances have been or still are members of the GSC, including dear old Peter Stone, who was very nearly "Black Gaffed" for using carbon fibre rods from the stable of Drennan.

Other qualifications are that you ride to your fishing spot on an ancient Raleigh bicycle, and brew up tea using a Kelly Kettle.

The "Order of the Black Gaff" is given to anyone who transgresses the ancient rules of the GSC which are even more vigourously applied than those of the Freemasons.

There is also a secret handshake.

But would you qualify for membership, assuming that the GSC still exists?

(I am told that our Graham once applied.)

No, I am very glad to say.

Is there a meet soon?

We can bivvy up, share out the Stella's and get some hard house on. Rod's on the pods and job's a good'un.

Any thirty's where they fish?

Mixed feelings. I revere the gudgeon, and sometimes use ancient tackle; I also use carbon and glass rods, fixed spool reels (both open and closed faced) and wear gore-tex when appropriate. I can afford neither fruitcake nor Edwardian clothing, nor yet alcoholic stupors, but I know the Edwardians knew how to party.
They tried to carry their liquor like gentlemen, which meant (at worst) finding a loo to vomit in, rather than the modern mode of guffing shamelessly all over the pavement and behaving like an advert for the rehabilitation of Eugenics.

Back at uni, we almost organised a full boaters and blazers, champagne (well, fizz) cocktails and gudgeon-fishing party, but it fell apart at the planning stage because of the difficulty of borrowing peacocks for the lawn; and, indeed, a lawn!

Perhaps a more open-membership "Golden Daze/Days of Angling" conspiracy is called for? One would think the internet the ideal way of organising the odd vintage fish-in, butone can foresee differences of taste creeping in... Mozart or the Kinks? Accompanying Patum Piperium sandwiches, fruit cake and tea, or a barbecue and booze?

Beggar it, I've put myself off the idea already...

---------- Post added at 09:27 ---------- Previous post was at 09:09 ----------

Cane rods on pods, hard house, "firties" on me bleedin' bamboo pole???, chaps in striped blazers swilling stella while skinheads sip bubbly, the hired string quartet throwing their hands up in despair, going back to their van and re-emerging as a Led Zeppelin tribute band; porcupine quills at a jaunty half-cock showing any hint of interest on the bolt-rig below; "I say, what a splendid gudgeon!" _"Gizzit 'ere, I'll try it for a perch"...Captain Chemical's pate with inappropriate mushrooms... Buffet one end of the park, BBQ the other...peacock-stalking for sport and float-making... "Where's my groundbait gone?" - "The barbecue lot used it for stuffing ... smells good, what is it?" - "Bread and bran with garlic flakes..." - "Yum!" - " and a good squirt of liquidised maggots." -"Oh! Does that really go with peacock -I-mean-poultry?"
Eclectic, maaan...

Ron The Hat Clay said:

revere the gudgeon, and not only eat large quantities of fruitcake, behave like one too.

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If these were the only criteria a few of us would be life members already!!!

Can I remind readers of FM's very own Port and Stilton Club - which focuses upon the proper epicurean approach to one's piscatorial pursuits. Membership is by invitation and a significant contribution to our Treasurer. We are all too polite to enquire what the Honourable Treasurer does with the money. A true gentleman or gentlemaness never asks.

This weekend the Hon Treasurer and Chairman will be attending a gathering of the angle in the Doncaster region; invitations may result. I trust all those attending will bring their wallets as Spiders, sorry Hon. Treasurer, demands cash up front.

I only need to get the bike....

Ron The Hat Clay said:

But would you qualify for membership, assuming that the GSC still exists?

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. . . and the point of the question Ron would be what?

Oh, I know, so that you can heap disparraging comments on the "unworthy" head of anyone who might qualify?


This is getting somewhat tedious to be honest with you, old chap.

Poshpaul (Angling Trust and PaSC) said:

Can I remind readers of FM's very own Port and Stilton Club

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Pardon me for interjecting in this little badinage, but the Port and Stilton Club has nothing to do with FM! Or at least, FM has totally disassociated itself with the ribald humour that is performed on the bank of Britains fine rivers and reservoirs by that band of uncouth reprobates. Especially that eight-legged arachnid fellow.

slime monster said:

I only need to get the bike....

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i can lend you the missus.....

ha ha ha ha

Wolfman Woody said:

Pardon me for interjecting in this little badinage, but the Port and Stilton Club has nothing to do with FM! Or at least, FM has totally disassociated itself with the ribald humour that is performed on the bank of Britains fine rivers and reservoirs by that band of uncouth reprobates. Especially that eight-legged arachnid fellow.

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Woody may I remind you that your application to join the PaSC is still being condidered an the above post may well ahve some barring o nthe out come - sent a large cheque not to the Treasurer to make amends

I might be speaking out of turn, and I wouldn't qualify on many of those points, but I think the older one gets, the more readily one relates to Chris Yate's philosophy, which I take to be that all that really matters, with respect to the essence of angling, is the utilitarian satisfaction one takes from our beloved hobby and it's associated paraphanalia.

Of course Mr Yates is a self confessed privilleged chappie. If I had nothing more to do than idle about the countryside amusing myself, I may well choose a bicycle as my mode of transport, and picnic on lashings of ginger ale and copious amounts of fruitcake.

I would never qualify........thank fek!

Wolfman Woody said:

Pardon me for interjecting in this little badinage, but the Port and Stilton Club has nothing to do with FM! Or at least, FM has totally disassociated itself with the ribald humour that is performed on the bank of Britains fine rivers and reservoirs by that band of uncouth reprobates. Especially that eight-legged arachnid fellow.

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I say Woody, what a bounder!! If one wasn't such a gent I would suggest we seek only fortified british wine for you....we'd give a choice...QC or VP!!