The Alternative Angler

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Brian Lewis

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Brilliant! An excellent article. A laugh from start to finish.

I'm sure I found it so amusing because I could recognise myself every step along the way as I'm sure many of us will.

Talking of matching rods, reels etc, and without wishing to stoke up the North/South debate I was once told by an angler from the North of England (me being from the South) "The trouble with you anglers down South is that you worry too much about what's above the water and not enough about what's below it".

Do only Southern anglers strive for the matched rods, reels and bite alarms and the balanced bobbins while our friends in the North concentrate more on their bait, hooklengths and presentation?
 
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Ron Clay

Guest
The trouble with the very rich Southen anglers is that it's all about spin doctoring and posing rather than catching fish. There are exceptions of course, but the most effective anglers I have ever met have generally been born north of Northhampton.
 
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Matthew Collington

Guest
Very well thought out logical argument there Ron. Excellent use of evidence to back up your point.
Ever wonder why Southerns are prejucdical towards the North.
 
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Gerry Castles

Guest
Sorry Ron, I thought having ascertained that having paid twice as much for our beer and five times as much for our house, the 'very rich' were all living in Rotherham. One thing we do less of in the south though is whinge.
 
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Fred Bonney

Guest
I think Ron's on another of his windups.
Going back to the article,which I might add, has me down to a tee.How many times do I go through my bag looking for that vital bit of equipment ,only to find that i'm sitting on it,and I don't mean my seat.
Ron,does moving to south Lincs rather than north Bucks help me become a Northerner,it will certainly make me richer with a pint at ?1.56 instead of ?2.10!!
 
GrahamM

GrahamM

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This week's article from Kevin lost some text (about 400 words) in transit. It has now been added. So it's worth having another read of the complete piece.
 
GrahamM

GrahamM

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Ron, I'm glad you're giving the carp anglers a break now, but that doesn't mean you have to take on the whole of the south, you old tinker you!
 
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Andy Doughty

Guest
I am sorry about this gentlemen, but I have to add a serious point to the argument. Do you think that having your gear all over the place gives a good view to the general public? Groundbait bags, choccy bar wrappers and tin cans all over the place. Sound familiar? Whether you clear up or not when you go home is not the issue, although you bloody well should, Joe Public sees you in a mess, and that isn't good. We need the public on our side, not against us. And its easier to fish when you are tidy, blah, blah, blah...
 
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Fred Bonney

Guest
Andy,For the majority of us I guarantee,that 'Groundbait bags, choccy bar wrappers and tin cans all over the place', is not what is being discussed,these items, even with the most untidy of us are usually not even taken to the fishery and if they are,they are usually the things put away to make sure they don't end up littering.
 
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Stuart Dennis

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Let me see if I’ve got this right? Are the Alternative Angler’s warped and witty outlook articles written to help lighten the load? Are they designed for us fisherman and womean to be allowed a sense of humour and laugh a little? Are they splattered on here for us to be able to smile slyly at ourselves regarding how similar we perhaps all are?

I think ‘YES’ centurions! I managed to read this article through a ten minute break I had from more pressing work matters, I needed some light relief (not hand relief, as for that, I would looked at my personal picture of Graham in his waders and bikini). I needed escapism for ten selfish minutes and that’s exactly what I got from Kevin’s article. What I didn’t want was a lecture about picking up litter. Not because it’s a message that shouldn’t be aired, but because the Pratt with no sense of humour should be starting his own thread and putting his case forward in other sections and leave those of us who enjoy an upbeat tonic and a well written and extremely amusing series alone!
 
GrahamM

GrahamM

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Although Andy has angling's best interests at heart it does help to remember that Kevin's articles are generally light-hearted escapism pieces.

Stuart, where did you get that picture from? He promised to burn 'em!
 
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Stuart Dennis

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That dig wasn't intended for you Fred. Sorry mate!

Graham, after 87 emails of blackmail to you and your only response being 'I'll send you some line for the negs', I'm afraid I'm not telling.
All I will say, is that the G-string cutting through the crutch looks painful mate!
 
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Brian Lewis

Guest
Stuart

I was about to respond in the same way myself. It's unfortunate that, as in life, some people take themselves far too seriously. Whether at work or at home I can usually see the funny side of things and happily laugh at and poke fun at myself (as well as others). At work it helps to relieve the stress and at home it's a great source of amusement for my kids who join my wife in taking the mickey out of me. All good clean fun!

In fact, I like to think that my sense of humour is one of my greatest assets (which doesn't say much for any others I might have!). And take our Wendy, poor lass, if she didn't have a great sense of humour we'd all be under the cosh! :0)

As I said at the start, a great article and a laugh from start to finish. Keep up the good work, Kevin.
 
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Fred Bonney

Guest
Stuart,didn't think it was,i know the direction it was aimed at.
 
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Andy Doughty

Guest
'...remember that Kevin's articles are generally light-hearted escapism pieces...'

And re-reading the whole Alternative Angler thing from the start I have now seen this for myself. Oops. Put my foot in it with that first posting.

And as for being a prat with no sense of humour, well, on my last trip out with rod in hand I managed to get second degree burns over about 9 percent of my body and ended up in hospital and having seven days off work. Now I feel that after that you NEED to have a sense of humour to endure all the renditions of 'Burn Baby Burn, Disco Inferno!' etc... that have been sung to me at work ever since. So to recap, prat, yes, sense of humour, yes.
 
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Stuart Dennis

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Welcome aboard Andy! And congratulations on your (second) post mate!

With regard to bombfires on the bankside, I thoroughly understand your predicament mate. Me and Carp Angler had a near miss on Hunts corner with a bivvy, a petrol double burner and two silly giggling little boys who thought they knew what they were doing!
Wahaaa!
May your posts be full of wisdom and humour and your personality be as far detached from Ron Clay's as is humanly possible!!
 
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Stuart Dennis

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YES, YES, YES - He's at last bitten at my posts!
Nothing Ron, I find you to be a wonderful, caring and more importantly a conscientious and dedicated carp angler.
 
R

Ron Clay

Guest
Really; I haven't set out deliberately to catch a carp since 1994, when I copped a fish of 19lbs on a local reservior on chum mixer.

I did catch a fish of 22lbs fom Linear Oxford, but I was tenching at the time and it doesn't count.
 
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