Although many people will violently disagree with me, it's time we had more creative writing like the piece by Davy.
Lets face of I am sure that many of us are getting fed up of: "I took my four ultimate 4 lb whisker carbo-beasts with Technie Flow giant pit reels and chucked a 5 oz Crappo lead together with multi-double "D" rigs, semi pop-up hyper-duo injected albu-vitagen geneticaly modo-enhanced flavour puce boilies, glugged with Super-dynoflavour enhanced gunge-dip, to the horizon.
I then retired to the comfort of my ?550 Super Hyper Erecto Bivvy complete with tungsten pointed solid titanium bivvy pegs. After one night on the Special Brews and extreme vindaloo curries, I was awoken from the comfort of my Supreme Relaxo-Anglemode bedchair and - 80 deg c triple thermo sleeping bag by the screaming of my ulti-sonic multi-mode, Qadruple Hyper-Blaster Carp Alarms as what proved to be a heavily larded mirror by the name of "Fat Bitch" at 38 lbs kited into my neighbours treble back leaded lines."
UUUURRRRGHHH!!