"The thing is James, I know when the other players are in training session, so I fake an injury and nip round to score with their wives. By the way mate when are you away filming the next series of a league of their own?"
"John I need a favour. I've been nominated for the Brits but I'll be on holiday. I need someone who can go up the steps, collect the trophy and milk the applause. I understand that you have experience?"
The latest ploy by tackle gurus, enlisting highly paid stars, to make their chairs look comfortable without cutting off circulation to the legs, causing failure of the lower back or being completely impossible to get out of in a hurry, fails miserably