Wakou
Well-known member
Some of us, and the Lord only knows why, are members of one or more fishing-related groups on Facebook.
But even with the many hundreds that there are to choose from, I feel that there is a ‘gap in the market’, so to speak.
So I propose a new group. It will be called “Random Blokes with Fish” (#RBWF™ ).
The rules will be very strict. Please post only pictures of random blokes with fish. After all, nobody knows what a fish looks like, and everybody is really interested in what random blokes look like.
There is literally nowhere else for people to find pictures of fish.
Please, no tedious discussions about bait, tactics, type of water, weather conditions, hook size, rigs, line strength, time of day, time of year, other species caught at the same location/time, what other methods you tried, tackle etc etc.
If showing off a predatory fish, please only display your expertise by; in the case of perch, stuffing your thumb in its mouth, and for pike, hang it by its gills, or grab it tightly and squeeze its internal organs, and allow its own weight to crush them.
Replies to contributions will be limited, by a drop-down box to the following:
“Nice fish, mate!”
Or:
“Clunker!”
Any offers of advice will be immediately taken as a personal attack.
Also, occasional questions may be asked such as:
“Is there any water near Manchester?”
“What lure should I use for fishing?”
Of course, #RBWF™ will aim to be an equal-opportunity space. So, contributions from ‘Random Bints with Fish’ will be welcomed.
In these rare cases, the rules for responding may by relaxed to allow witty, humorous and welcoming banter, such as:
“Don’t get many of those to the pound, darlin’!”
Or
“You can come round and bait me up any time, sweetheart”
Also, contributors with suspiciously foreign-sounding names or skin-colour should be made to feel at home by references to their supposed national or racial characteristics.
Of course, there will no elitist preferences, so grammar, punctuation, spelling, orthography or attempts to express coherent thought will be discouraged.
Please come and join us!
But even with the many hundreds that there are to choose from, I feel that there is a ‘gap in the market’, so to speak.
So I propose a new group. It will be called “Random Blokes with Fish” (#RBWF™ ).
The rules will be very strict. Please post only pictures of random blokes with fish. After all, nobody knows what a fish looks like, and everybody is really interested in what random blokes look like.
There is literally nowhere else for people to find pictures of fish.
Please, no tedious discussions about bait, tactics, type of water, weather conditions, hook size, rigs, line strength, time of day, time of year, other species caught at the same location/time, what other methods you tried, tackle etc etc.
If showing off a predatory fish, please only display your expertise by; in the case of perch, stuffing your thumb in its mouth, and for pike, hang it by its gills, or grab it tightly and squeeze its internal organs, and allow its own weight to crush them.
Replies to contributions will be limited, by a drop-down box to the following:
“Nice fish, mate!”
Or:
“Clunker!”
Any offers of advice will be immediately taken as a personal attack.
Also, occasional questions may be asked such as:
“Is there any water near Manchester?”
“What lure should I use for fishing?”
Of course, #RBWF™ will aim to be an equal-opportunity space. So, contributions from ‘Random Bints with Fish’ will be welcomed.
In these rare cases, the rules for responding may by relaxed to allow witty, humorous and welcoming banter, such as:
“Don’t get many of those to the pound, darlin’!”
Or
“You can come round and bait me up any time, sweetheart”
Also, contributors with suspiciously foreign-sounding names or skin-colour should be made to feel at home by references to their supposed national or racial characteristics.
Of course, there will no elitist preferences, so grammar, punctuation, spelling, orthography or attempts to express coherent thought will be discouraged.
Please come and join us!
Senility, dementia, the inability to speak and write coherently may well come to pass before long but I have no wish to encourage or hasten them along.
