The Alternative Angler – Cultural Exchange

Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can.

Being an island race, we don’t tend to take much heed of what Johnnie Foreigner is up to, but there may be all manner of baits, tackle and tactics which we are completely unaware of, the question is but how best to tap into this possible gold mine of information? There is no better way of gaining knowledge than practical experience, and possibly the best way of doing this is by starting an exchange scheme, much the same as our schools do now.

Each country will provide lists of clubs who are willing to participate, and these clubs and associations will liaise with each other and then arrange a ‘two weeks there, two weeks here’ package, of say, six anglers from each country. Clubs might want to select the lucky anglers by ability, and have a series of qualifying matches, some may go for a more democratic ‘names out of the hat’ approach, whilst others may have to result to bribery, blackmail or just plain nasty threats in order to find enough volunteers.

I should point out Herr Rygg, the genial Oberlieutenant of the 3rd Division, Westphalia Fische Gruppen has already been inundated with requests for exchanges on or about the two weeks of the football World Cup. He regrets to inform us that he cannot possible consider any request unless someone can come up with a better offer than the two FA Cup Final tickets (venue to be arranged, if wet, in scout hut) plus two Centre Court places for men’s finals day, that he has had already.

It should be pointed out that one concession that has been thrashed out is that the British anglers have to travel abroad first; due to the fact that we are renowned for our ability to merge seamlessly with foreign cultures, with our knack of being able to speak most languages (well very loud English, anyway) and as long as we can get fish ‘n’ chips and lager, we won’t starve.

I am sure that our carp anglers will be thrilled to learn the secrets of our Eastern European cousins. Apparently, they have discovered, and have been able to develop, a range of tackle that is unlike anything we currently use. For a start, in a complete, and frankly refreshing bout of ‘envelope pushing’ brain storming, the whole issue of using rods and reels has been evaluated and dismissed as totally unnecessary. This is scary enough, but to find out you do not have to be fishing in the next postcode to your quarry will no doubt be almost incomprehensible to some carp anglers.

On top of not having to cast out using rod and reel, the next revelation may cause some to reach for the smelling salts – they do not use any type of specialised end rig whatsoever, only a hook tied to the line, with a sea lead, or sometimes half a house brick used as weight for chucking out. Brilliantly simple, and brilliantly effective, a hook directly to the main line, in fact, to maximise the chances of this working, and to counter our ‘normal’ multiple rod set up, they would normally use several hooks tied onto the one line, and to ensure success, a breaking strain in excess of 25lb is advised.

It should also be noted that expensive bite alarms are not needed, and rod pods are made redundant by virtue of just tying this line to a stick banged in the ground. Nor is it necessary to ruin your social life by remaining on the bank whilst you are ‘fishing’. Just imagine, you can even leave your tackle alone like this for even longer than most carp anglers do during a ‘session’.

Now, in order to make this minimalist approach work, you would be forgiven for thinking that the key to their success must be in some hitherto undiscovered magic bait and/or flavouring combination. But no, there is not a boilie in sight. Anything from stale bread to kitchen scraps is pressed into service, making the whole set up both economical and environmentally friendly by encouraging the recycling of leftovers.

And one final point is that our Eastern European cousins do not make the mistake of allowing their quarry to become wary of baits and tackle, as every one they catch ends up in the stew pot. Perhaps we should learn from this, in that by buying and using ever more sophisticated tackle and baits we are just making the fish harder to catch?