Andyw
New member
Merry Xmas all!!
I was sitting thinking, as you do, plenty of time for that while the kids are opening presents like crack addicts!!
Anyway, I suffer Bi Polar Disorder, more commonly known as Manic Depression, big highs, usually in the form of rash decision making, irrational thoughts etc, followed by tremendous lows, characterised by deep depressions, agraphobia (in my case), I'm sure you all get the idea.
Now since I've been fishing, which is now my second season, it has very much been my "escape", the opportunity to be on my own, away from the stresses of the real world. The chance to reflect and evaluate my behaviour, moods and future. My wife realises that I need this time and is mostly very supportive, although she lets me know when I've been overdoing it and need family time... Some summer weeks I've been going 5 out of 7 days!! (Yeah a lucky bugger I know!!)
I've found that I prefer night sessions, as I fish by the GU Canal, this suits more due to boat traffic etc. Mostly producing better results and weights to. I don't drive so its more out of having to, than choice.
I'm finding the winter months hard, very hard in fact. The lack of fishing, lack of results and the stinging cold. They very much don't help brighten my mood! Which is very fluid at the best of times.
I haven't been for ages now, due to a broken reel, kindly solved by a fellow FM poster (Thanks mate!!) and a friend who has given me a few.
I spend time in my garage sorting my stuff out over and over again, make up wierd bait concoctions, generally I like the fact that fishing is not just "by the bank". I also read several magazines, drooling over the quality fish people catch.
Trouble is, my motivation has got up and gone, I used to get excited about fishing, I'm not anymore. Now this is probably a combination of my moods, weather, lack of results etc I find it hard to leave the house even on non fishing related business!! Much to my wifes annoyance. My closest friends live back in London so my fishing is a somewhat lonely pursuit, but there are times when I'm gagging for company, other times when that is the last thing I want!!
Why am I writing this, dunno really just to get it "out there" fishing is a very theraputic pasttime, one I am glad to have taken up... But fishing itself causes me mood swings within my mood swings, if that makes sense to anyone.
I long for summer, well more bearable weather at least, weather to improve my catches, because I know that feeling of when I caught my first Tench from the canal, judged to be 5 or 6lb by friends from the picture, what a high, 02 30am and I was dancing!! Good job no one was about, they would have known I am nuts!! But my point is that the rush it gave me lasted a long time, I want that back... Tis a bugger I have to wait so long!! Its a better and more instant rush than I get from my medication. Its because I have made the effort, worked hard for the catch!!
Right I'm done, I hope that gives everyone an insight into MY world, sometimes a very self destructive one, always an up and down one, NEVER a predictable one. I've written this for me, not for you lot, but if someone gets something from it then great...
Enjoy your festive season, however you choose to spend it!!!
Regards
Andy
I was sitting thinking, as you do, plenty of time for that while the kids are opening presents like crack addicts!!
Anyway, I suffer Bi Polar Disorder, more commonly known as Manic Depression, big highs, usually in the form of rash decision making, irrational thoughts etc, followed by tremendous lows, characterised by deep depressions, agraphobia (in my case), I'm sure you all get the idea.
Now since I've been fishing, which is now my second season, it has very much been my "escape", the opportunity to be on my own, away from the stresses of the real world. The chance to reflect and evaluate my behaviour, moods and future. My wife realises that I need this time and is mostly very supportive, although she lets me know when I've been overdoing it and need family time... Some summer weeks I've been going 5 out of 7 days!! (Yeah a lucky bugger I know!!)
I've found that I prefer night sessions, as I fish by the GU Canal, this suits more due to boat traffic etc. Mostly producing better results and weights to. I don't drive so its more out of having to, than choice.
I'm finding the winter months hard, very hard in fact. The lack of fishing, lack of results and the stinging cold. They very much don't help brighten my mood! Which is very fluid at the best of times.
I haven't been for ages now, due to a broken reel, kindly solved by a fellow FM poster (Thanks mate!!) and a friend who has given me a few.
I spend time in my garage sorting my stuff out over and over again, make up wierd bait concoctions, generally I like the fact that fishing is not just "by the bank". I also read several magazines, drooling over the quality fish people catch.
Trouble is, my motivation has got up and gone, I used to get excited about fishing, I'm not anymore. Now this is probably a combination of my moods, weather, lack of results etc I find it hard to leave the house even on non fishing related business!! Much to my wifes annoyance. My closest friends live back in London so my fishing is a somewhat lonely pursuit, but there are times when I'm gagging for company, other times when that is the last thing I want!!
Why am I writing this, dunno really just to get it "out there" fishing is a very theraputic pasttime, one I am glad to have taken up... But fishing itself causes me mood swings within my mood swings, if that makes sense to anyone.
I long for summer, well more bearable weather at least, weather to improve my catches, because I know that feeling of when I caught my first Tench from the canal, judged to be 5 or 6lb by friends from the picture, what a high, 02 30am and I was dancing!! Good job no one was about, they would have known I am nuts!! But my point is that the rush it gave me lasted a long time, I want that back... Tis a bugger I have to wait so long!! Its a better and more instant rush than I get from my medication. Its because I have made the effort, worked hard for the catch!!
Right I'm done, I hope that gives everyone an insight into MY world, sometimes a very self destructive one, always an up and down one, NEVER a predictable one. I've written this for me, not for you lot, but if someone gets something from it then great...
Enjoy your festive season, however you choose to spend it!!!
Regards
Andy