Outthere Caption Competition

[Dave O'L]

Gary, full off national pride, offers his pike for service in the name of Tony, Queen & country.

 

[Dave O'L]

By gently stroking & squeezing the fish Gary hopes to be the first to 'roe' the length of Windermere.

 

[Dave O'L]

'Well this is a first, a caption competition on FM without the possibility of a knob joke!'

 

[Dave O'L]

In a desperate attempt to compete with David Attenborough, Gary shows how a leaping pike intercepts a flying fish in his wildlife programme, 'The Land of the Brass Monkey'.

 

[Dave O'L]

As he drifts closer to the rocks, Gary desperatly checks his pockets but just can't put his hand on the 'rudd'er.

 

[Dave O'L]

'Crappy fishing in Britain?'.
In France fish are bigger & there's always a chance of a mademoiselle in your bivvy.
Special offer, free 'bivy bag' every group booking!

 

[Dave Rothery]

gary prepares to inflate the "acme trophy shot pike" after another fruitless session

 

[matt thomas]

"now if i just stretch my arms a bit more it will look like a twenty pounder"

 

[matt thomas]

"no don't take the photo yet"....FLASH.....
"DOH"too late





read the top one first

 

[Chris Hammond]

Ahm tilling thee are kid, forraminit theer ah thott ah'd ad ma purs'nl bist rerch. But th'expeerienced aye can see from't sootle diffr'nce in'th'anal fins it's nobbut a bluddy aybrid!!

 

[Dave Rothery]

if zanders a pike-perch, what the f**ks this?

 

[Murray Rogers]

FISH-RITE to sue well known northern angler for adverse publicity!!!

 

[Murray Rogers]

The last time Barny saw a Roach this big was in his spliff at the fish-in

 

[Gerry Castles]

'Eric, pass me the Rizzlas'

 

[Alan Bowles]

I simply wave percy the magic pike and hey presto the roach levitates.

 

[Alan Bowles]

In line with the new PETA fish rights campaign all predators are to be size regulated to give prey fish a fighting chance.

 

[Martin Whiteman]

I said that the roach were hungry in this place

 

[The Monk]

PIKE-PERCH, ZANDER TWO SPECIES

PIKE-PERCH (Lucioperca), fresh-water fishes closely allied to the perch, but with strong canine teeth standing between the smaller teeth of the jaws and palate. They resemble the pike in their elongate body and head, and they are also most dangerous enemies to other fresh-water fishes, though they compensate for their destructiveness by the excellent flavour of their flesh. In Europe two species occur, the more celebrated being the " Zander " of North Germany or " Schiel " of the Danube (Lucioperca sandra); strange to say, it is absent in the system of the Rhine. It prefers the quiet waters of large rivers and clear deep lakes, in which it reaches a weight of 25 Ib or 30 Ib. The second (Lucioperca wolgensis) is limited to rivers in southern Russia and Hungary. In North America several pike-perches have been described, but in the most recent works only two are distinguished, viz. Lucioperca americana, which grows to a weight of 20 Ib, and the much smaller Lucioperca canadensis; both are abundant in the Canadian lakes and upper Mississippi, and the latter also in the Ohio.

 

[Stu Black]

You'll never win with that "one liner" Monk!
;-))

 

[The Monk]

No, guess not?