Good old days

Titus

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E's a big un, I'd rather feed 'im for a week than a fortnight.
 

chrissh

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she's got a face like a jar of angry wasps
she all fur coat and no knickers
it's the dog b*****ks
wait till you dad gets in (dad was in the RAF only home every 12 weeks)
couth it up it might be a gold watch
couth up chicken
put the wood in the hole
 

Titus

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On talking about brain power....

If brains were ink you wouldn't have enough for a full stop.

If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off.

If brains were milk you wouldn't have enough to fill a mouse's t!t.

---------- Post added at 10:49 ---------- Previous post was at 10:46 ----------

When I was in the RAF if we had a particularly difficult fault on an aircraft we would all be huddled round the circuit diagrams and some wit would always say, 'Stand closer lads, form a brain'.

If you had a brain cell it would be lonely.

One I never understood was 'Up here for thinking, down there for dancing'. What do they think controls the feet?
 
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greenie62

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"Youtalkintome- or chewinabrick, la? - Idaway- it's badferyer teeth!" :eek:

See Dorset&Chub or Sumtime for translations from Scouse of this typical local greeting! :eek::eek:mg:
 

sagalout

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When they were giving out brains you were at the back of the queue.

When they were giving out brains you thought they said drains and asked for a big empty one.

When they were giving out brains you thought they said trains and asked for a steam driven one.

---------- Post added at 12:07 ---------- Previous post was at 12:06 ----------

He can calculate the cubic capacity of a pork pie but can't get the wrapper off.
 

caelan

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Don't pick yer nose your brains will fall out
PICK US A WINNER
shiver me timbers its cold out tonight
 

dorsetandchub

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"Youtalkintome- or chewinabrick, la? - Idaway- it's badferyer teeth!" :eek:

See Dorset&Chub or Sumtime for translations from Scouse of this typical local greeting! :eek::eek:mg:


Eh softlad, pick yer window (the one you're leaving through)

If I didn't care about trees, I'd have your gob boarded up (please be quiet)

Diesel - Scouser out shopping. As in Diesel Do Nicely, Laaaa

---------- Post added at 15:27 ---------- Previous post was at 15:21 ----------

De face on her!! Like a slatehanger's nailbag (She is not conventionally beautiful)

De face on her!! Like a gasman's mac (miserable looking, not a comment on looks as such)

He's gorra an ead like a dzog (He's got a head like a dog) - (He's no matinee idol, is he?)
 

bracket

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Two of my Old Man's favourites. On drink:
Me throats as dry as the inside of a Lime Burners Clog.
On food:
I'm that hungry I could eat a monkeys miscarriage.

He always had a charming turn of phrase. Pete
 

Derek Gibson

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Here's one of my dear old dad's sayings when I was a kid,

''If that float doesn't disappear soon, it will disappear back into the tackle box''.

That was his way of saying, start packing up.
 

flightliner

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Calls to girls/ lads from a distance--------- oi!!! ( guy looks around) sters.
Kid (ditto) neybeans.
"Heyup dreamboat---( girl looks around) not you shipwreck!.
 

chrissh

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A sandwich short of a pick nick

Not the full shilling

Thick as two short planks

For someone that's always losing something - It a good job he's got 2 nuts to hold his d**k on
 
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