arthur2sheds
Well-known member
Looks a little like a stunned mullet
Good old days
- Thread starter caelan
- Start date
chrissh
Well-known member
got a face like a slapped a*se
she got nip**es like scania wheel nuts
As much use as a one legged man in an a*se kicking contest
as useless as a chocolate teapot
as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike
she got nip**es like scania wheel nuts
As much use as a one legged man in an a*se kicking contest
as useless as a chocolate teapot
as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike
Merv Harrison
Senior Member
She fell out of the ugly tree and her face hit every branch on the way down.
Merv Harrison
Senior Member
She looks like her face caught fire and somebody put it out with a shovel.
See a theme developing here
---------- Post added at 12:57 ---------- Previous post was at 12:51 ----------
She was so ugly as a child, her mother fed her with a catapult.
She was so ugly her pram had shutters.
She was so ugly, that when she visited Madame Tussaude's Chamber of Horrors, the staff asked her to keep moving as they were stocktaking.
See a theme developing here
---------- Post added at 12:57 ---------- Previous post was at 12:51 ----------
She was so ugly as a child, her mother fed her with a catapult.
She was so ugly her pram had shutters.
She was so ugly, that when she visited Madame Tussaude's Chamber of Horrors, the staff asked her to keep moving as they were stocktaking.
caelan
Well-known member
Shes been around the block a few times
Can I borrow your ugly sister I want to go ratting in the woods
Whats for tea wait an see
Can I borrow your ugly sister I want to go ratting in the woods
Whats for tea wait an see
B
binka
Guest
"Woman rodeo"
You choose a woman and when you're in the middle of something physical from behind you tell her you've been seeing her sister.
(Hold tight and count the seconds in your head to see how long you can stay on)
You choose a woman and when you're in the middle of something physical from behind you tell her you've been seeing her sister.
(Hold tight and count the seconds in your head to see how long you can stay on
)
dorsetandchub
Well-known member
That's like the old military Grimmy Hunt - a group of guys go drinking and agree to meet at a certain place and time, after trying to pick up the ugliest woman you can find.
Each guy throws in a winner takes all payment.
It usually got interesting when the women found out what was going on. However, it came to a head in some Squaddie towns when the Munters actually hired themselves out for half the take.
Capitalism has a lot to answer for sometimes!!
Each guy throws in a winner takes all payment.
It usually got interesting when the women found out what was going on. However, it came to a head in some Squaddie towns when the Munters actually hired themselves out for half the take.
Capitalism has a lot to answer for sometimes!!
Merv Harrison
Senior Member
That's like the old military Grimmy Hunt - a group of guys go drinking and agree to meet at a certain place and time, after trying to pick up the ugliest woman you can find.
Each guy throws in a winner takes all payment.
It usually got interesting when the women found out what was going on. However, it came to a head in some Squaddie towns when the Munters actually hired themselves out for half the take.
Capitalism has a lot to answer for sometimes!!
A friend, now deceased, was in the Royal Navy and they had a similar thing wherever they happened to be, Frank won it at some port in Japan, he s hagged an old woman on a trolley who'd lost both legs when the A bomb fell.
Sorry, forgot to say, as proof some of his mates actually watched the event............................
Last edited:
dorsetandchub
Well-known member
Merv,
Doesn't surprise me in the least. Did he, er, split the purse, so to speak?
My first BFPO was Gibraltar, the Navy were a bit of an eye opener. They could never march but drinkin and fightin? They was first class, Sheriff.....
Doesn't surprise me in the least. Did he, er, split the purse, so to speak?
My first BFPO was Gibraltar, the Navy were a bit of an eye opener. They could never march but drinkin and fightin? They was first class, Sheriff.....
peter crabtree
AKA Simon, 1953 - 2022 (RIP)
I was so ugly when I was born the midwife slapped my mum.....
chrissh
Well-known member
when I was in the navy it was grab a granny the older and uglier the better but only being 19 a granny was in her mid 30s
The eye opener was Bugis street Singapore the girls did something with Ping-Pong balls or cigars that blow smoke rings
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That all sounds horribly familiar. I remember being thrown out of a club when one of our number deposited his supper in the middle of the dance floor.
As we were being led to the door he did a swift about turn, scooped up two cupped handfuls of his discarded supper and threw it into the rotating blades of the overhead fan which passed for air conditioning.
It all got a bit exciting after that.
Happy Days!
As we were being led to the door he did a swift about turn, scooped up two cupped handfuls of his discarded supper and threw it into the rotating blades of the overhead fan which passed for air conditioning.
It all got a bit exciting after that.
Happy Days!
chrissh
Well-known member
we were in Norway on one of the Navy/Army war games. we was out on the pi*s a Norwegian squaddie ask us have you ever seen a fart and bet us a bottle of scotch that he could show us one we fell for it .
he got a mirror put out side in the snow so it cold. brought it back inside the bar dropped his trouser farted on the mirror which steamed up and said look a Fart.
he got a mirror put out side in the snow so it cold. brought it back inside the bar dropped his trouser farted on the mirror which steamed up and said look a Fart.
caelan
Well-known member
:wHI all I am glad I put this thread on here it has given me an many of you
all a good giggle an laugh well done
all a good giggle an laugh well done
chrissh
Well-known member
Hunky dory
OK; satisfactory
Derived from Honki-Dori, a street in the port of Yokohama, Japan, where many a pleasure awaited visiting sailors
OK; satisfactory
Derived from Honki-Dori, a street in the port of Yokohama, Japan, where many a pleasure awaited visiting sailors