IN THE STARS?Doesn’t matter what sign you are – or does it? With a New Year fast approaching, it’s time for Mystic Peg to gaze upon the crystal balls and see how your star sign might affect the way you go fishing, even which fish may be ‘right’ for you. The future unfolds as the mists clear…..
Aries
The ram, a sign of agility, it’s also an anagram of A Rise. Would seem that scrambling over rocks and boulders in pursuit of trout in clear mountain streams is the ideal occupation for Arians. Boundless energy and enthusiasm are a must, because rewards in the shape of fish, are few.
Capricorn
Similar to the ram, but the old goat is more wise in the ways of the world. More likely to let the fish come to you than go chasing after them. Perhaps reservoir trout fishing is for you, cast/retrieve, cast/retrieve, when you can’t retrieve, you’ve caught a fish. Do this four times and you can go home.
Taurus
The Bull. Charge in and ask questions later. This is the type of angler who takes a friend fishing and promptly rushes past them to get to the best swim. First at the trough on every occasion, can make themselves welcome at just about any branch of angling.
Leo
The Lion, owner of a very impressive roar. Again can excel at most fishing venues, but appears to favour ones where silence is preferred. Usually able to enquire “How big was that one, mate?” from 200 yards across the lake. Also has the feline ability to creep up behind you without making a sound, and then frighten the sh*t out of you with that same voice at two yards distance.
Gemini
The twins, two of everything can only point to success with specimen hunting, where duplication is the name of the game. May also indicate split personality, schizophrenia or someone who can be two faced, (still with the specimen hunter theme).
Virgo
Could point to someone who is always lucky to be fishing virgin waters, it appears that a career as a fishing presenter on TV could be right up your street. Or maybe someone who has yet to score on a particular venue, or failed to catch a particular species of fish. Not a member of the Real Burbotfishers, are you?
Libra
The scales, another of those signs that has strong links to things fishy. Could indicate a promising future in match fishing, or carp or both. So obviously a perfect combination for you is match fishing at carp puddles.
Scorpio
The scorpion, a sting in the tail (tale). Someone who might lead you astray with false information about a particular swim, perhaps, in order to put you off the scent – could still be with the specimen fraternity here. Or they may tell you a particular venue has been fishing its head off for the past week or so. Ever thought about becoming a bailiff, or perhaps a fishery owner?
Sagittarius
The archer (dum-ti-dum-ti-dum, oops sorry, that’s the Archers!) Walks round with a bow and arrow. Definitely armed and dangerous. Shooting fish in a barrel is an obvious analogy. The only branch of our sport that has fishing that easy is commercial carp puddles. Please take the rods though, not sure that toxophillists can convince other anglers that their way is acceptable as the new ‘method’ just yet.
Aquarius
All the signs related to water and are well starred for anglers. Aquarians in particular are so wet that they are inexorably drawn to water and therefore they tend to be the most likely to fall in. Someone so attuned to spending so much time close to the water, that they are in danger of growing gills, can only be a carp fisherman.
Pisces
Another sign that has obvious, very strong associations to both anglers and water. Pisceans tend to behave so much like fish that they usually either end up smelling like them, or perhaps worse still, they develop an overpowering tendency to try and drink like them. Tending to be loners for the above reasons, they are not really welcomed into many branches of the sport. One which does tend to appeal to this type is, of course, eel fishing.
Cancer
These lucky souls have a link to the best of both worlds because not only are they able to drink like fish, they are blessed with a natural ability to walk sideways, just like a crab. Where it causes the rest of us huge problems, bumping into things, falling off kerbs, etc, they stroll around quite normally. Best suited to any type of angling that has a social element attached, so probably match fishing is for them.
And finally – New Year’s Resolutions
Below is a selection of promises that you may be about to make, and the chances of you keeping to them for a whole year are marked out of 10.
I promise to spend more time with the family than go fishing – 1
I promise not to go out and buy new rods/reels/tackle boxes etc. just because I haven’t bought something shiny and new for nearly two weeks – 1
I promise to come straight home from fishing and not go into the pub – 1
I promise to come home when I say I will – 0
I promise to pay less attention to my tackle, and more to my partner – 1
I promise not to buy every weekly/monthly fishing publication I can lay my hands on, and then leave them lying around the house for six months, just because there is an article in one of them somewhere that I need to keep – 2
My betting is that any of you making any of the above resolutions will have trouble making them last for 2 weeks, let alone 52!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all FM members.
Kevin – The (Very) Alternative Angler
