The Alternative Angler

Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can.

TickleTackle is a new and exciting concept for anglers. We all realise that many useful items are developed by anglers for anglers, but are not considered worthy of production by major tackle companies. We take those ideas and present them directly to those anglers who we consider to be experts. We blend sometimes diverse technologies in an effort to ‘push the envelope’ and give you what you deserve – more time fishing, with better designed equipment.

New ideas and strategies are coming on-stream all the time, so be sure to look out for regular updates. In the meantime, please read on to see just a small selection of the fabulous products currently on trial or under development:

An ever-growing range of products, which fall into the category of ”why didn’t I think of that?” Items, which you may have not thought were available, and items that you didn’t even know you wanted:

TICKLE TACKLE PLC NEVER RESTS

TickleTackle are never ones to rest on their laurels and have pinpointed still more areas where their unparalleled, almost psychic, understanding of anglers will see them producing tackle long before the need becomes apparent. Examples of this stunning and innovative approach are previewed here today.

Cypry-Fli
A whole raft of tackle and accessories for the fast-growing carp fly fishing scene, being spearheaded by the Fux rod making team. The first weapons in the new range will easily be capable of handling the 60 yard carp fly lines developed so far, and models in the pipeline will surely include the ‘Duet’ the worlds first twin-handled two man rod, the only one available that will have the ability to cast the rumoured ‘Ton Up’ WF28, 100 yard lines when they become available.

Spoole
A different kind of reel for a different kind of fishing. Machined out of solid titanium, then drilled with over 700 holes to shed weight and aid ventilation, it is then cross-braced and strengthened to compensate for loss of rigidity. Its high capacity 14″ spool runs on twelve, water-cooled, oil-filled ball bearings. It features Formula 1 type carbon fibre disc brakes, knuckle friendly padded handles, and a spool than can be changed by the RAC in less than an hour. Comes in a silk-lined, individually numbered, walnut box, with spare spool, 12 months RAC membership, and crystal bottle with hallmarked silver lid containing smelling salts for the moment they show you the price.

Imytate
These are beautifully made, perfect imitations of the carp’s natural food. Available in a dazzling array of colours, and in the ever-popular 14, 18 and 20mm sizes. Virtually indistinguishable from the real thing, they are perfectly round and are available in floating and sinking varieties. All, of course, are hair-rigged and tied to a turned-up or turned-down forged hook.

Leash
Your chosen pattern of Imytate, surrounded by 12 copies of the same

DeepThroat
Same idea as the marrow spoon, but upgraded for carp. Based on a throwing stick design, but with anatomically correct, rounded contours and Teflon coated so you can be in and out with a sample of the carp’s breakfast before it knows what’s happened. Teflon coating means it’s wipe clean too! Make sure you’re casting what the fish are eating!

ReallyTwee are rushing to produce camouflaged thirty pocket vests, delays being caused by trying to locate a supplier of camouflaged wool for the sheepskin fly patch. In truth there was also some confusion over patterns, as too much early emphasis was placed on ‘flyfishing’, rather than ‘carp flyfishing’. The prototypes of ‘concrete wall’, ‘grassy bank, and ‘aerator tower’ had to be dropped. Having met the deadline to get the ‘Soixante’ 60 yard camouflaged fly line into production, their technologists are already working on the long distance line, which will see 100 yards being achieved off the bank. We understand that several carp fisheries are already clearing the necessary space for the required 80-yard back casts.

In addition to (and not overshadowed by) all of the above existing developments, TickleTackle are proud to announce that Horace Angling have signed up to the ‘family’. This is a company that has gained unrivalled access to scientific experiments, some with a military slant. Thousands of hours of underwater footage of the behaviour of MOD trained catfish has been analysed to enable them to offer the world’s most advanced predator location and capture system. Details are listed below.

Atak-Pak
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. This is a two-part predator capture system. The first is a highly visible, free-swimming, battery powered imitation fish, which is incredibly lifelike. This goes off by itself, looking for pike, perch or zander. When it finds one it will feign injury, start swimming in circles and flapping around upside down. If this fails, it will carry out manoeuvres that are designed to insult the fish. (Taken from the Oasis guide to foreign travel, these manoeuvres equate to saying “C’mon if you think you’re hard enough. You looking at my bird? D’yer want some?” Etc. etc).

Stung into action the predator will lunge forward. At that point the lure will inflate like a puffer fish to twenty times its own size. As the predator hovers, unsure of what to do the second part of the Atak-Pak swings into action. This is similar to the lure, but painted in drab colours. It follows behind, hugging the contours of the lake or river bed, until the attack happens, when it fires a humane, rubber sucker tipped harpoon at the confused predator. The other end of the harpoon is attached to the angler’s line, and a ‘normal’ fight ensues. The Atak-Pak lures return to base to be re-armed, and the predator can be returned unharmed after the fight (apart from its pride, perhaps!).

Beat the rush and be sure to pre-order the gear everyone is bound to be clamouring for! All this and much, much more is available now from selected stockists, or buy online at Tickleandfux.com