The Alternative Angler – Fishing Rules – OK?

Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can.

Hands up if you are now or ever have been, a member of a fishing club, or failing that, visited a day ticket water? Probably most of us, I would imagine. And every club you join will have a list of rules, and usually, quite properly, every day ticket water has a set of rules. And yet, somehow, all those lists of rules will vary, sometimes there are subtle changes, and other times so completely different to the point of being contradictory.

One fishery may allow you to only use one rod, another will happily allow two or more, some allow night fishing, others absolutely forbid it. Certain baits are permitted on one water; use of a ‘banned’ bait on others will lead to lynching. Offering any bait on a barbed hook may seen as an indiscretion, or maybe it won’t, this can also be applied when you end up guessing whether or not you are allowed to use braided line.

Some stillwaters retain a traditional closed season, whilst others do not. Throw out a keepnet on one water and nothing will happen, do it on another and you might end up wearing concrete waders! Although, if you can’t use a keepnet, those fish that you may or may not be taking home, rules permitting, will of course, have to be tapped on the head

We appear to be in the least regulated sport with the greatest possible number of different regulations! There is no rule book a beginner could turn to listing perhaps ten ‘commandments’ that if adhered to, would allow you to fish just about anywhere without falling foul of some committees’ diktats and risking expulsion, confiscation or in the worst cases, possible conviction.

Imagine you are just starting out fishing, you’ve bought the tackle, seen a nice little lake down the road, watched a Matt Hayes DVD (twice) so you know exactly what to do, and off you go, to enjoy your chosen sport. Arriving at the pond, there is no one else fishing, and a walk round reveals an absence of any indication of a controlling club or any ‘No fishing’ signs for that matter. (And before any legal eagles tell me that ignorance of the law is no excuse for breaking it, the point I am trying to make is the apparently bad job we are doing in promoting ourselves in an effort to entice newcomers to the sport).

So having chosen your swim, you cast out one rod baited with tiger nuts, the other with cat meat. Having found an old, four-foot long knotted keepnet at the back of the shed you lob that into the water and set about pitching your tent behind you. Once the tent is up, ready for your overnight stay, you can hang up the searchlight for when it gets dark, and tune in the radio so you can listen to the footie a bit later on. Having got that lot sorted out, you and your dog (you always take him along for company) can now go wandering off round the entire perimeter of the lake for an hour or so, looking for some nice dry sticks for the camp fire you plan later, what with it being late April and the nights still being quite chilly.

Then you will be able to warm up a bit of supper, although you would think someone would have put a litter bin round here somewhere for you to put all your cat food tins, baked bean cans and various other wrappers, might as well chuck them under the bushes with the other rubbish, before you turn in for the night, before leaving the rods out to fish for themselves. Too far fetched, maybe not……

Angling doesn’t appear to have an omnipotent controlling body such as the golf does with the R & A, or tennis with the LTA, or football has with the FA, but these institutions have published a set of rules on how to play their respective sports at a basic level, throughout he country. Different local clubs and associations will add further regulations to suit their particular needs, but those are always in addition to the basics, not a substitute for, or indeed a totally different set of rules altogether.

I know there are a huge diversity of disciplines that fall under the general umbrella of ‘coarse fishing’, but surely it is not beyond us to come up with a ‘starter’ set of regulations which would cover probably 90% of situations to allow you to a least go fishing at the most basic level almost anywhere. Then there could be as many caveats added as deemed necessary by the controlling club/association.

With that in mind, here are some of the most basic, some would say obvious rules to start off with, in no particular order. There are probably a few more, but it would be a starting point

Fish with one rod and line only (unless controlling club allows otherwise)
No fishing without current EA rod licence
Ensure you have the necessary permission to fish
No fishing during Closed Season (unless controlling club allows otherwise)
Use barbless hooks only (unless controlling club allows otherwise)
No fishing without a suitable landing net or unhooking mat
No fish to be retained in keep nets (unless controlling club allows otherwise)
No fish to be removed from water (unless controlling club allows otherwise)
Do not leave tackle unattended
No night fishing (unless controlling club allows otherwise)
No fires
No litter

Complying with the above should mean that a beginner wouldn’t fall foul of too many committees, one would hope, such a list could even be handed out when you purchase a licence, and posted up in tackle shops, but would it ever get off the ground…..?

He started something the other week by mentioning the number of articles we had both written, he’s done over 120, and at the time I had done even more, apparently. Well, by my reckoning, this is something of a milestone (millstone, more like I hear you say) in that it brings my total tally of articles (sorry, ramblings) on FM to the grand figure of 150.

I will admit to some misgivings about the whole writing thing around Xmas time, I had sat down purposely with my ‘Herbert Henshall’ head on and churned out another Donald and Damien chapter on Carbelling. It eventually spread over 4 episodes, was therefore probably far too long, and was certainly missing ‘something’ compared to the earlier adventures, and judging by the reception the FM readers gave them, I am not alone in my thinking. Given that, I feel it’s probably time to give the old boy his well-earned retirement while I work on producing the eagerly awaited full-colour2006 TickleTackle catalogue.

Then there was the somewhat spiteful forum postings which abounded around Xmas, nothing wrong with getting passionate about fishing, compared to the normal head in sand apathy, but personal attacks, claims and counter claims, not what FM is about, surely?

And what of the ‘Alternative Angler’? Having been down memory lane, looking back over all those articles in the archive, it both stuns and amazes me that there is so little repetition in them. In fact, I have to admit that I only vaguely recall even writing some of them – perhaps I could get Graham to reprint them from the start and I can have the next three year’s off, might give me a chance to dream up something new!

All I can say is thanks for the comments (mostly favourable!) and support I have had so far, nothing I write will ever appear in the angling press, so if you lot on FM still want me, I will just keep rambling on.