The Alternative Angler – Silt /Walter Letters #4

The Silt – Walter Letters #4

February 2nd 1965

Dear Mr Walters

I have been trying to keep in touch since the unfortunate ‘incident’ at your fishing hut last September. I have endeavoured to apologise profusely for inadvertently contaminating the river with Lux flakes, creosote and the contents of the chemical toilet. To that end I took on a grocer’s round to go with my paper round and the baker’s round and have been sending you postal orders for £ 12 11s 6d (all my wages) every month by way of compensation.

Sadly, it appears there might be a less than honest postal employee somewhere along the way, as the letters always come back with ‘Not known at this address’ scrawled on the envelope, although the postal order and note have always been removed. Whoever has been taking those postal orders has been impersonating you too, as they were all made out in your name and they have all been cashed. Next time it happens I’m afraid I will have to make an official complaint to the Head Postmaster.

Yours etc

Don Silt

March 3rd 1965

Dear Mr Walters

Great news! I am more than happy to say that I have finally received a reply from yourself! I can’t understand what’s been going on at the post office because you say you did get all my letters and have been very kind and taken time to read them all, one in particular with great interest. And despite being very busy you have replied to all of them, including your thanks for the postal orders. This is all very curious because this is the first one to safely reach its destination.

Anyway, for the time being it looks like the postal problem has gone away, but much better than that, you say that you are prepared to forgive and forget the ‘incident’ and would I like to come down to the hut again to stay with you and a few special friends when the season opens. And it is very decent of you to say that there is absolutely no need for me to send any more correspondence, as you will contact me nearer the time to confirm the details.

Yours etc

Don Silt

June 20th 1965

Dear Mr Walters

Many thanks are in order for the kindness you showed to me on my recent trip, even going so far as to offer to pay for my train ticket (which I could not accept, of course). I have to say I was just a tiny bit apprehensive about meeting up with you again, given what happened last time, but you were hospitable to a fault. I was overwhelmed when you invited me to come into the hut and let me handle your tackle, such a change from our last conversation when you jokingly said that if I so much as looked at anything of yours ever again you would break every single one of my fingers one by one and then insert a pike gag where I certainly wouldn’t be able to retrieve it without the use of my hands.

How I laughed at that! What a fine sense of humour you have, I must say. Then there was that moment when we were sat round the camp fire late on in the evening. You put your strong arm around my shoulders and told me that I didn’t need to write to you anymore, and I said it was no trouble at all, and then you squeezed me just a bit tighter and told me that no, I really didn’t have to write anymore. You obviously hadn’t noticed that your forearm had moved over my windpipe at the time, but after a couple of minutes gasping for air I was as right as rain, and had fully recovered by the time you and the chaps let off the fireworks and produced that lovely cake. Truly an evening I shall never forget.

Yours etc

Don Silt

July 1st 1965 – Pier 17 Southampton

Dear Mr Walters

Just a quick note before the ship departs. I have now realised that although it wasn’t mentioned once during my stay, your kindness in inviting me down to the hut was your way of saying goodbye. Obviously you had read in one of my many recent notes that I was emigrating to a far off land in the summer, and you decided to throw a party in my honour. Only a true friend would go to the trouble of not saying anything to spoil the jovial mood of that last night, all the cheering and fireworks when I said I was off, and the cake decorated with the word ‘Goodbye’ on it should have given the game away, but I must confess I was completely taken in at the time, well done!

Sadly, the book on Halibut Fishing in the Outer Hebrides that you asked me to write will have to wait until I return to the Northern Hemisphere. In the meantime, I will still keep you informed as to what I hope will be exciting adventures in faraway places, as I am sure that you were still joking when you told me to never, ever write to you again.

Best wishes for now

Yours etc

Don Silt