KEVIN PERKINS


Kevin Perkins is one of those anglers who sees the funny side of everything, and there are plenty of funny goings-on in fishing. But not everybody is able to convey the funny and often quirky nature of fishing. But Kevin can. He’s the Alternative Angler who sees that side of things that most of us miss because we’re too busy going about the serious business of catching fish and often missing the satire and laughs along the way.

Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can.

Fin-telligence

HERE’S A GLASS half full/glass half empty conundrum that I have been puzzled about for some time now: are fish getting ever more clever, or is it that we anglers collectively need ever more assistance in catching them due to diminishing powers on our part?

These are purely personal observations that come about because my own fishing trips become more and more sporadic as times go on. My therefore infrequent trips to the tackle shop see me viewing rack upon rack of new and sometimes unidentifiable items of tackle, almost in a state of bewilderment.

I am astonished at the variety, and seemingly complex nature of the products we now need before setting off on a fishing expedition. Why have one particular item when 27 subtle variations of the same thing will almost certainly (allegedly) increase your chances of catching? Have fish really got so clever that anglers have to resort to these ever changing but subtle nuances if they are ever going to be successful?

A recent foray to previously helpful local dealer, with what I thought was a simple enquiry about a new rod left me more baffled than I have been for some time (And that’s pretty bad, believe me!). I have had a pair of twin tip Avon type rods for a number of years and they have served me well until the last trip to Cl*tt*rc*te where I somehow contrived to snap 3″ off of one of the tips.

I would like to say that it gave out as I heroically battled a behemoth carp from under the boards, but I suspect it had more to do with my abuse in hurling out an overloaded method feeder. Anyhow, the damage was done, and after long and at times painful negotiations with the family banker involving me in being told to volunteer to do ironing, dusting and hoovering, whatever they are, some (very) limited funds were put at my disposal.

Now, perhaps I am being a little bit na

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